Whats my sexuality?

Im a 18 year old male and i have no idea what my sexuality is. When i was around 14/15 I thought i was straight and I remember masturbating and being turned on by women. Shortly after I started getting attracted to males and started getting crushes on other boys (world shattering ones not just little things). Anyway ever since I've fantasised about being with boys and males sexually, i never get turned on when i see a woman and only really see men sexually.

What makes it all confusing though is when i was 16 i had a sexual expereince wit ha female and i remeber loving it and truly being turned on by the fact that it was a girl and not just sexual contact. infact i'd never been so turned on in my life and was properly into it. i've had no encounters since then and have rarely thought about women in that way.

To make it even more confusing I know i've defintely been in love with 2 different girls, one from when i thought i was straight and another more recently , they were defintely romantic feelings and i felt like a wanted t obe with them, just not sexually. i've never considered myself t obe bisexual as idunno, I just don't feel bisexual as i only ever think about other men sexually, however i've only ever fallen in love with women and did have one experience with a woman which i enjoyed? Im so confused.

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Reply 1

Gem

Why don't you just not put a 'label' on your sexuality and be yourself? It might cause a lot less heartache in trying to understand it.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

I think your bi or gay! You are definately more attracted to men but you are a good example that sexuality is fluid - so maybe you really are bi!
However it seems like you might have been turned on with that girl because it was a first and new and exciting sexual encounter but it seems to me that you are only really attracted to women emotionally!
Can you elaborate on the crushes you had?

Reply 3

Profesh

Anonymous

Read.

Reply 4

Jonatan

Anonymous

Don't worry too much about it sweety, you will work things out eventually. These things aren't always black and white. Some pople are lucky enough to know for certain if they are straight, gay or bi. To others things can be more confusing ( as I can testify myself, finally coming out as bisexual at the age of 21 ). Don't worry too much about labels or squesing yourself into some predefined cathegory. It is more important how you feel.

What you tell others is really an entirely separate issue. Here you probably want to tell people what you think will give them the most accurate descirption of yourself. I'd say that seeing that you might fall in love with a woman again some day, it will probably be easier for you to tell people you are bisexual, rather than changing definition depending on who you date. Don't do so if you're not comfortable with it tho. In the end it shouldn't matter that much to others, but it will probably mean quite a lot to your own identity, so go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable, and if people ask you can always explain it a bit more.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

I'm so confused.

So am I. I am a girl and have never been sexually attracted to females, but I do see women as attractive and feel like I have a better bond with them. I am not sure if I have been attracted to them. I saw them as pretty or attractive and probably had crushes but I never wanted to kiss them or do anything sexual.

I've always since the age of 4 been sexually attracted to males and also had crushes on them when I was at school. I even started getting off on nude pics of men between the age of 13 - 18. I still find them sexually attractive but I don't get that feeling I usually get it's kind of like so what. I haven't had a crush on a guy since I was about 13/14 I feel my self confidence has decreased. I always was told I would never get a boyfriend and always suppressed my feelings for guys. I just don't feel anything anymore but I know deep down inside I probably will. I haven't been friends with a guy for like 8 years and I feel really weird when I am around them.

I don't feel feminine at all,sometimes I forget I am a girl :eek:

I always wanted to wear makeup but, I've always been a tomboy because it was safer.

Maybe I feel like this because I went to an all girls school, I had crushes on my b.friend but I realised I didn't like her in that way and I loved her like a friend.
Now I second guess my sexuality even though I know deep down inside I will never be sexually attracted to females.

I remember people asking whether I was straight because I was like a tomboy and I always felt like I was, but I always wonder why they ask me that question like they know something I haven't realised yet.

So for like the last two years it's all that's been on my mind and I find myself questioning everything, which takes the fun out of it. Even if the word bisexual or gay comes up I have an anxiety attack like omg that could be me :frown:

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

To the poster above, i think that there is a chance you could be bi and scared to admit it or experiment, but most likely is that i think you have suppressed your feelings towards guys and just like everyone you need to be loved/ cared for but you feel you cant get it off guys so you might turn to females which you may relax with easier as your at a n all girls school

Reply 7

Esquire

Maybe you are just in love with "people". (This is a joke, in the early stages of admitting homosexuality you tell yourself this :biggrin:

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

Not really sure about the experimenting bit as I am about 85% sure I don't like women in that way. However I think you maybe right about the loved thing. I didn't really get on with my dad but really got on with my mum because in a way I knew she loved me unconditionally. I was scared of my dad because he was quite authoritative and I thought all men were mean :redface:

Which I know is kind of weird, so I think I suppressed my feelings to protect myself. I know now that my dad can't show his emotions because like me he doesn't want to get hurt, but I know he loves me really.

I just feel like I am losing my sexuality, I am not sexually attracted to anything anymore, because of the second guessing. Even the naked guy stuff seems really boring now. Same old stuff over again(porn lol).

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

Esquire

Maybe you are just in love with "people". (This is a joke, in the early stages of admitting homosexuality you tell yourself this :biggrin:

Can I ask what is a homosexual. I mean I know its someone who is attracted to the same sex.

However does that mean sexually? Can you still be a homosexual if you see the same sex as attractive but are only sexually attracted to the opposite sex?