Does my teacher fancy me?

In any circumstance, or just this one?! :lolwut:

Because that kinda implies that "oh well, he's the teacher, you can't call a teacher a peadophile".

A teacher certainly can be considered a paedophile, if they are sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children. So children under 11 or sometimes 13, I think.

Doesn't make the teacher's conduct in any way appropriate, as you say. Even if the OP does have feelings for him and does consent it would lead in charges against the teacher and his dismissal.

Reply 61

Miel Purple

Original post by SamUKG97

What he is doing is illegal. It's quite obvious you like him, he just sounds like a Saville.

Saville?

You're not serious right?

Reply 62

Arieisit

3

I don't see what the big deal is... I've got teachers on Facebook...we message... big deal.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 63

PricklyPorcupine

13

Original post by MovesLikeAgger

I think OP fancies her English teacher rather than him fancying her.
I go to an all girls school and I hear this all way too much. It's mostly rubbish and the pupil normally fancies the teacher.

Yeah that is true. There's this one girl whose into slightly older guys because boys our age are 'sooo immature'. She flirts with this 20-something year old teacher; he is attractive but he knows it and is a bit of a douche overall. Sometimes girls misread cues and think of guys as pervs or attracted to them maybe because they kind of want the attention. However, OP sounds like she might have a problem starting with the bra strap thing and the heavy breathing. Never in my time at school has a teacher, male or female. stroked my shoulder or touched my back.

Reply 64

Swaany

7

Original post by Rainbow Student

The ****? She's 16, he's an adult, he follows her on twitter, stares at her whilst smiling, says sexual things to her, feels her bra , likes how she smells, compliments her looks, (need I go on?), and people are seriously saying that he might just like her as a student? Ahem, come on guys, paedo alert or what? There is waaaay much more going on there than people are clearly wanting to admit. Presumably it's because we sadly deny these things and block them out of our heads. Seriously, you should, at first, talk to him about all of this, and if it carries on, then report it.

It is not at all a "strong teacher-student relationship", because strong relationships are, yes, personal, so that the students are emotionally supported by student-teacher friendships, but also proffessional. He's sexually harassing OP, being unproffessional, breaking the law and being pretty creepy, and all people can think about is excusing him by saying he might just be a sweaty guy, or just accidentally touches her bra constantly, ( :rolleyes:

), or just likes her as a student. I am thoroughly dissapointed. :sigh:

Anyway, I don't want any arguments so my honest and hopefully helpful advice is to talk to him, talk to your parents, and if it doesn't stop, report him. You are not an object girl. xx

Couldn't have put it better myself. Reading all of the previous comments about how OP is overreacting is just beyond me. These things are serious and there are so many girls (and guys) out there in the world that doubt themselves when it comes to sexual harassment. OP - no matter how little you think this situation is, if you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable tell someone ASAP. Speaking up is key to tackling these sorts of people, if we don't start now, people can take advantage of it and it will be a never ending cycle.

Hope it all works out.

Reply 65

MovesLikeAgger

9

Original post by PricklyPorcupine

Yeah that is true. There's this one girl whose into slightly older guys because boys our age are 'sooo immature'. She flirts with this 20-something year old teacher; he is attractive but he knows it and is a bit of a douche overall. Sometimes girls misread cues and think of guys as pervs or attracted to them maybe because they kind of want the attention. However, OP sounds like she might have a problem starting with the bra strap thing and the heavy breathing. Never in my time at school has a teacher, male or female. stroked my shoulder or touched my back.

See, if I didn't know any better I would have been concerned over the bra strap but in my school, a lot of girls fancy the Product Design/Graphics teacher and they make ridiculous rumors like "He squeezed my bum" and stuff like that so you can't always believe it. I know with that particular teacher it's rumors because once a girl was next to me and he walked behind her and she was like "Omg, he just touched my bum" when I could blatantly see he didn't.
Anyway, with all that's going on with pedophile teachers in the news, if it was really happening she would have reported it and not spread it all over TSR.

Reply 66

River85

17

Original post by Arieisit

I don't see what the big deal is... I've got teachers on Facebook...we message... big deal.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Becuase professional boundaries are in place for a reason, that's why.

Just because your messages are (I assume) innocent doesn't mean that those from other teachers, or to other pupils, will be innocent.

It also protects the teacher just in case allegations (not necessarily just sexual) are made. It wouldn't look good for the teacher if they were seen to be facebook friends with the student.

Reply 67

pillacat

7

Some of those points you listed are interpretable, however the ones that hold some serious weight are where he has called you 'beautiful', the touching your back regularly and the few times you've spoken about sexual things.

I would avoid being alone with him without friends there or not in a busy school setting. I know you probably don't want to cause a fuss by speaking to another teacher but this isn't appropriate behaviour for a teacher. Is there a head of pastoral care or another teacher you feel you could get advice from about this in confidence?

Reply 68

Dragonrage973

2

Original post by Jamerson

Not to mention my year 7 English teacher; she used to pretend to orgasm when reading my work because "it's THAT good". :confused:

BAHAHAHAHAA that's too good :biggrin:

Reply 69

Kvothe the Arcane

20

Original post by Arieisit

I don't see what the big deal is... I've got teachers on Facebook...we message... big deal.

Posted from TSR Mobile

So did I, when I lived in Trinidad. Here, things are stricter.

Reply 70

Tootles

21

Original post by MovesLikeAgger

who? 0.o

I'm not sure it would be fair on her to say, I've just looked her up and she's still active.

Reply 71

curtis871

13

Original post by River85

x

Like Holby I've also had teachers on social network sites and don't see what the problem is when used appropriately. Just curious as to whether you think it's always wrong or just certain circumstances so would a social networking run for the department that posts relevant links and reminders be suitable? If that was the main reason but the teacher in question also welcomed private messages relating to the subject to get help would that break the boundary etc?

Original post by Holby_fanatic

x

Also curious as to which it was in your case? I've had teachers and generic department profiles on FB for the first and second reason in the bit above but also when it's just generally been for a chat every now and again. One of whom still gets me the odd job every now and again so would this be considered very early networking or unprofessional conduct (I left that school in 2008)

edit
To the OP some of his actions do clearly make you uncomfortable so he does need to be made aware of that probably with another adult present though it is possible he isn't aware of it. Also some of his actions do come across as inappropriate I just don't agree with some that using Twitter or FB with students is automatically inappropriate though ofc it is if it is used in an inappropriate manner

(edited 10 years ago)

Original post by curtis871

Where does this boundary for private contact stop?

In school, pretty much.

[QUOTE[If you bump into a student on the street do you ignore them, say the bare minimum to be polite and move on, be friendly?

Don't be facetious. You know (or should know) there's a big difference between bumping into a teacher on the street and giving a brief, polite hello and perhaps even chat (in public - with people around) and having teachers on social networking sites, communicating with them (including in private).

Not only that, but it exposes the teacher's private life to the pupil, and the pupil's private life to the teacher.

If you're friend is the teachers son can they drop you off home after visiting said friend like many other parents would? I lived somewhere with 2 buses a week at the time obviously this could effect that answer as making you wait 3 days for a bus or walk over 20 miles is probably frowned upon too

Again, that's different. They are acting as the parent of a friend and not as a teacher. All they are doing is escorting you home.

When you add someone on a social networking site you give a message that you're "friends". That your relationship is more than just teacher/pupil or friend's parent/friend of son/daughter. You are giving that teacher access to personal information about you. You're exposing your private life to them.

If you're expelled from school but one teacher still has faith in you and drops resources you need to complete your GCSE's when all others have given up on you at your home (by appointment so a parent is present) would that be going above and beyond to help a student or the first signs of an inappropriate relationship.

Could potentially be a slippery slope but, again, this is very different to adding a student on social networking sites.

http://www.theguardian.com/education/2012/jan/23/teacher-misconduct-cases-facebook

Reply 75

Holby_fanatic

16

Original post by curtis871

Also curious as to which it was in your case? I've had teachers and generic department profiles on FB for the first and second reason in the bit above but also when it's just generally been for a chat every now and again. One of whom still gets me the odd job every now and again so would this be considered very early networking or unprofessional conduct (I left that school in 2008)r

Well he spoke to the head of Music on Twitter a lot, as do other pupils at the school. I think that account is mainly departmental but the head has occasionally posted things like, "My daughter was born today" or "This woman is now Mrs ____" He did have his drama teacher's number though because they co-produced a lot of things together that needed organising, and he had English teachers' email addresses because he was part of the debating team. Really it was all innocent. People kick off about anything and everything nowadays.

Reply 76

curtis871

13

Original post by River85

In school, pretty much.

[QUOTE[If you bump into a student on the street do you ignore them, say the bare minimum to be polite and move on, be friendly?

Don't be facetious. You know (or should know) there's a big difference between bumping into a teacher on the street and giving a brief, polite hello and perhaps even chat (in public - with people around) and having teachers on social networking sites, communicating with them (including in private).

Not only that, but it exposes the teacher's private life to the pupil, and the pupil's private life to the teacher.

Again, that's different. They are acting as the parent of a friend and not as a teacher. All they are doing is escorting you home.

When you add someone on a social networking site you give a message that you're "friends". That your relationship is more than just teacher/pupil or friend's parent/friend of son/daughter. You are giving that teacher access to personal information about you. You're exposing your private life to them.

Could potentially be a slippery slope but, again, this is very different to adding a student on social networking sites.

http://www.theguardian.com/education/2012/jan/23/teacher-misconduct-cases-facebook

Interesting read though I did notice that some of it did highlight the possible benefits of group ones as opposed to personal accounts like the parts below. It would be a shame to miss out on those because people are too afraid of being deemed inappropriate towards students though I can see why staff would avoid it out of fear.

"Facebook can be useful as a way of keeping in touch with the school orchestra or rugby team, Hopwood suggested. "But teachers need to make sure that they don't do this from their own personal page. They can set up a group which will work well for this type of thing."

"The GTC registrar, Paul Heathcote, said: "Often the use of social media by teachers can be positive and make a valuable contribution to a teacher's practice, to pupils or to the school. Each GTC case is based on its own merits, and only if the use of social media by a teacher is relevant and serious enough to potentially affect a teacher's registration is it likely to progress to a hearing."

Reply 77

River85

17

Original post by Holby_fanatic

Well he spoke to the head of Music on Twitter a lot, as do other pupils at the school. I think that account is mainly departmental but the head has occasionally posted things like, "My daughter was born today" or "This woman is now Mrs ____" He did have his drama teacher's number though because they co-produced a lot of things together that needed organising, and he had English teachers' email addresses because he was part of the debating team. Really it was all innocent. People kick off about anything and everything nowadays.

Surely you can see the boundaries it blurs, and danger that can be caused? You only need to look at a few news sources to see the various incidents that have resulted.

Most schools I've had experience with disallow it, and for good reason. Best be careful.

And I'm saying this as someone who is not a "moral panic" person, and a strong believer in social media.

Reply 78

curtis871

13

Original post by Holby_fanatic

Well he spoke to the head of Music on Twitter a lot, as do other pupils at the school. I think that account is mainly departmental but the head has occasionally posted things like, "My daughter was born today" or "This woman is now Mrs ____" He did have his drama teacher's number though because they co-produced a lot of things together that needed organising, and he had English teachers' email addresses because he was part of the debating team. Really it was all innocent. People kick off about anything and everything nowadays.

I'd agree all that those seem innocent enough and fine though I would completely understand why many teachers would refuse to do any of those things as many people seem to jump to conclusions. I am curious as to why he couldn't use the English teachers school email address though?

Reply 79

B4321

OP

Original post by curtis871

I'd agree all that those seem innocent enough and fine though I would completely understand why many teachers would refuse to do any of those things as many people seem to jump to conclusions. I am curious as to why he couldn't use the English teachers school email address though?

Yes as he does have an English teachers school email address as I've heard him telling it to sixth formers before.

Does my teacher fancy me?

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