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Reply 40

wave_o_mutilation

ugly girls with war paint on.

lol

Reply 41

Higgy

I used to be in a situation when i was in 6th form that i didnt have that many mates who ever bothered with me, when i left though i suddenly found loads more mates from work or just generally through other random meetings with people, i now have an awesome social life...it will happen

Reply 42

theonehitwonder

I guess another thing I should add is that when I do end up going out, they never want to go to the clubs I want to go. We always end up at rnb clubs, which gets boring very easily.

Reply 43

Rooftopcowboy

I used to have a problem with not having many freinds (never 'no' freinds though)

but have found that you need to change situations to gain new freinds..such as as...getting a job means you will be working with loads of other people.

if you work in a supermarket, or local shop..you are forced to get to know people (by the nature of the job) and you can make good freinds there.

also going to uni is another great opportunity, as the first few weeks everyone is in the same boat and goes out their way to make freinds.

I still have my best freinds ive had all along, but have met loads of other freinds at uni.

so id say that changing your circumstances is better for gaining freinds, such as getting a part-time job...and not going clubbing or going on myspace etc as people on there never make true freinds with each other.

another suggestion would be joining a sports club or any other hobby like that.

Reply 44

Sephiroth

Don't bother with MySpace. Hardly anyone is seriously looking for friends on there. The vast majority are only interested in talking to you if you look sexy or whatever and if they see you as a potential partner. At that point they'll talk to you, be friends and then when you meet them they will start hitting on you. If you're not interested expect that to be the last you see them and they will fade away online too.

I have 22 people on my contact list on MySpace and if people knew what friendship was I'd have over 300. I keep deleting people who don't stay in contact or who were only after my arse. Of the 22 I'd say over half are people I met from other websites or were people who attended my school and found me.

I use MySpace to find friends myself similar to your situation so I know exactly what it's like. Most people are sitting there with fake profiles pretending they're nice people, not shallow etc. and then when you send them a nice message they ignore you, presumably because they don't find you attractive enough or you don't seem like the type to shag anyone. Finding a good partner on MySpace is hard enough and you're looking at 5+ hours a day for a year. Finding a proper friend is even harder. I don't bother much with MySpace these days and am looking forward to uni to see if I can make friends there.

Reply 45

sidi

At least you know you're not alone. A lot of lonely people on here. You can meet people in the most unexpected ways. If a neighbour has a dog offer to take it for walks. You'll be amazed the number of people who will speak to you just because you have an animal in tow. Or it gives you an opening to approach other dog walkers. Just a silly example. I've never had a serious relationship or even frendship from someone I met clubbing

Reply 46

Sephiroth

Clubs and the Internet are the worst places to make friends. The Internet is a great place in theory but hardly anyone takes it seriously enough. But that doesn't leave many other options, especially if you're not at uni.

Reply 47

yeahyeahyeahs

mrt84

I do a lot of the 'loner' hobbies but being human, crave interaction with others. Oh yeah, I'm getting desperate to add people on MySpace. :redface:

I wouldn't advise adding people on myspace. Most people appear to have loads of friends because they are friends of their friends they know in real life.
What tend to happen is, one person will message someone off myspace, a few replies are sent back and fourth. then they add you on their friends list, and never talk to you again. Or, they add a comment saying "How are you?", you reply back with "I'm cool thanks. How are you?" , and then they won't reply back.

Reply 48

yeahyeahyeahs

Forums are quiet good to meet people. I've met quite a few people off music band forums, who I've then met at gigs by accidently bumping into them, later becoming good friends with them. This took a long process though, nothing beats meeting people in real life. The internet isn't that ideal for making friends but it can help abit.

Reply 49

Sephiroth

yeahyeahyeahs

What tend to happen is, one person will message someone off myspace, a few replies are sent back and fourth. then they add you on their friends list, and never talk to you again. Or, they add a comment saying "How are you?", you reply back with "I'm cool thanks. How are you?" , and then they won't reply back.

I used to think that only happened to me and I was giving the wrong impression to people or something. But then I realise many people on there are just fake. The types you mentioned are the same types who put on their profile how they're looking for friends etc. I have a policy whereby anyone who hasn't messaged me for two weeks will be deleted. This is after they've been on my list a week and under a 6 months. Before a week I delete them as soon as it's apparent they're not going to be friends. Past 6 months I can understand why they won't talk at times but I find most people not talking past that point have forgot I exist. It's not as simple as that I should message them either because the reason there's silence is because they ignored my my last one. I'm down to 23 people and would have over 300 if people weren't like you described.

Reply 50

theonehitwonder

I remember my first week of uni, boy how I screwed up. I still had a strong group of friends at that time, and being me, thought that I didn't need to put myself out there with the other first year students as I could rely on my group to meet new people.

Within a year, we never hung out together anymore. Sure, it would be a 'hi how's things?' when we see each other but besides that, nothing.

4 years later...

I've graduated. I spend most weekends alone, rarely with any social contact. My only friends are ones which I've met from off the internet, and are not very reliable or good friends (basically non-existent).

Reply 51

Sephiroth

Best thing I can advise for you Mrt is try make friends at work. But that might not be good if there's a large age gap between you and the others.

Reply 52

Hev456

its funny that i've always had probelms making friends too, so you're definitely not alone. well ok the making friends thing hasn't been so bad, but its keeping them interested. when i was at primary school i dont' ever remember having a set of best friends, i knew people, hung around with them for a few months, then they'd get bored of me and i'd go onto someone else. secondary school i got bullied by my group of friends i had so that knocked my confidence.

now at college i've found it really hard, don't really know anybody well enough to call them a 'friend', and my best friend who i've known since secondary has turned all weird; never wanting to do anything and not even wanting to chat when we're on our college holidays.

i'm scared it will be the same for uni because i feel so different to everyone else, i don't drink alcohol, i hate the atmosphere at parties, and i've never even been invited to a club to know what thats like.

Reply 53

username51346

RnB Clubs.....*shudders*.

Reply 54

lala_land

mrt84

Maybe you need to make more of an effort, and invite them to places instead of always waiting to be invited? It's likely that if you ask enough people that alteast some will turn up, then use that time to catch up/build up your friendship again.

Reply 55

theonehitwonder

lala_land

I've thought about it, but then again we change and life goes on. ie. I recently started talking to a long time mate from primary school again, and while it's still all good, he has his own group of friends now, which makes it difficult for me to join in. He used to spend a lot of time programming, now he has a better social life than me!

I know - I've been on the outer rim of a number of groups in recent years, it doesn't work. Especially when you're shy like me.

Reply 56

lala_land

maybe if you keep talking to him and get a bit closer, then he'll invite you out with the rest of his friends and you could get to know them?

I'm shy too, i guess you just have to push yourself out there and when your out with people make an effort and make sure they have a good timewith you, that way they'll be sure to invite you out again.

Do you have a job? becasue I'm guessing that will help you meet a lot of new people, I don't have one but a mate of mine who got one now has tons more friends just by working there!