No Friends.

I am finding that I am stuck on my own a lot of the time. I know that it's not healthy, because it makes me feel sad. Sure, I may have people I could call friends but they rarely want anything to do with me. I never get asked to go anywhere. I tend to do everything on my own. I guess I'm independent as you say....

Anyone else live like me? How do you get by?

Update - I've learned to just deal with it! If my mates want to hang out, it's up to them!

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Reply 1

Dragon24

You should make the plans or make new friends on www.myspace.com.

Reply 2

seafairy

I have friends but i tend only to go with one of them for two reasons. Firstly ive become really lazy and i just cant be bothered to get off my ass most of the time, i watch tv, read, go on the internet and work basically (i work nights) - work is where i get most of my social interaction. Secondly the friends i met at college, even though they are incredibly nice i dont feel like i can really have fun, laugh and mess about with them. Ecept for one friend who i have known since i was 6.

Tbh im not unhappy, i think this is because im waiting until uni, i dont know if you're going to uni, but i hope to find people more compatable with me and thats where i hope to get on with my life and experience new things etc.

do you have a job?

Reply 3

TSR Community Staff

I'm coping at the moment with most of my friends moved off around the country. Whether I'm here at the moment or back with my family, there are really only one or two people in either place who I'm friends with. I choose to be away from my family right now too as it just causes arguments when I'm with them for any length of time.

Myabe try to visit people who you know or get people to come vist you. That is what I'm trying to do. Or if that fails, try to do interesting things on your own.

Like I planned a trip to London by myself. I'm going in just over a week for the dya. As it turns out now, someone down that way found out I was going and suggested to met up with them when I was down there.

But even if you still are all alone, you can have an good time. Just do things which mean other people are around. Don't just sit at home and do nothing much (which is what I've sadly done too much off). Get out side, even if it's just walking around, you might just bump into random people, on say a bus or at a pub or cafe, and have a conversation with them. Nothing might come of the conversation, but you might meet some new friends and at the very least you've been out mixing with people.

Good luck mate :smile:

Reply 4

theonehitwonder

I'm a recent uni grad. My shyness/anxieties meant that I never made any close friends during my time there.

Reply 5

theonehitwonder

I'm thinking of relocating to a larger city (Melbourne or Sydney) as work opportunities are much greater. I doubt my folks would be happy though.

Reply 6

BeesKnees

I'm currently at college and have some friends but we don't go out that much. Alot of them have quite strict parents so they don't really go out that much which can be kinda crap but we do go out after college sometimes. I'm hoping to make more meaningful friendships at uni but I won't force it if it doesn't happen. One of my friends has the same problem as you mrt84. Infact when I first read your post I thought you were her! She has anxieties and is always paranoid about everyone and is really shy. Even when we go out for a meal, she'll never order her own food. Someone will always have to do it for her. Sometimes you just have to learn to let go of your anxieties and get yourself out there.

Reply 7

theonehitwonder

Sweshar22

I think I'm getting better, I do a lot of things in public on my own as I'm used to being alone anyway. I just feel so alone sometimes, it really sucks. I want to go out but nobody wants to come. :frown:

I am also afraid to add random people on MySpace because they seem to have so many friends and too 'cool'. I only have Russell Peters on my list.

Reply 8

T. Hereford

mrt84

I'm in eaxctly the same position mate. I find it extremely diffcult to make friends. I'm a very shy person and when many people meet me they think I'm cold and weird and therefore don't befriend. I'm in my early 20's and most people my age are loud / confident /outgoing. i'm not the sort of guy that goes out clubbing and gets pissed outta my head every Friday and Saturday night. Therefore, several people may percieve me and boring and are not willing to befriend me cos I don't do the 'normal' things that most lads in their early 20's do. It's extremely frustrating because I don't smell or have bad breath and I consider myself myself to be a nice person. It's really upsetting. :frown:

Reply 9

theonehitwonder

T. Hereford

Yeah, I like clubbing though. Of course, I never meet any women because I'm too shy.

What do you do to pass the time? Hobbies/interests? etc

Reply 10

Dragon24

mrt84

I am also afraid to add random people on MySpace because they seem to have so many friends and too 'cool'. I only have Russell Peters on my list.

Look at people's profiles who specifically state in the would like to meet section that they would like to meet more nice people. I don't know who Russell Peters is but you could try befriending him.

Cool is so overated - lol. Be unique, it's much better.

Reply 11

black_mamba

mrt84

Sure, I may have people I could call friends but they rarely want anything to do with me. I never get asked to go anywhere. I tend to do everything on my own.

I don't have many friends either (I'm ok with just a few) but I'm very shy and quiet so making friends and keeping them is rather challenging. I find that the more effort you put in, the more attention you get back. Simple huh? Don't expect people to invite you out all the time if you don't put in much effort yourself - try organising a simple day out for a few of you and see how it goes, something like a picnic in the park (with or without booze :wink:

).

I did that recently and managed to organise another event based on that. A few of us arranged to go rock climbing together later on in the summer. :smile:

Reply 12

theonehitwonder

Yeah, but most, especially those from my uni campus state stupid/funny things there. Plus they have so many friends.

Reply 13

theonehitwonder

black_mamba

).

I did that recently and managed to organise another event based on that. A few of us arranged to go rock climbing together later on in the summer. :smile:

I tried organising things last year and for my birthday this year, nobody wanted to go. I just gave up. I ended up staying home alone on my birthday.

Reply 14

username51346

make new friends dude... there will be many people that will click with you.

Reply 15

matt@internet

mrt84

Oh my god you could be me, judging from that, albeit short, description. I get by by virtue of the fact that:

a)I tend to prefer my own company anyway (and I mean it I do, it's not just out of necessity)
b)If they are discussing all these plans around me and they know full well that I would like a bit more company and things to do, then they are inconsiderate jerks, so I probably wouldn't enjoy going out with them anyway (which I have discovered, when, on the few occasions I just say 'Can I come'?(I don't ask much cos it makes me feel pathetic) they often leave me out of conversations anyway, and I end up just being a tag along, so I don't enjoy going out with them that much anyway, just when I really, really, really want some company)
c)I wait for results day in hope that I can go to university and meet people who at least have the decency not to discuss plans around someone else when they don't plan to invite them along or when they know that this person doesn't have plans and would probably like to hang around.

Basically, I hate people who discuss plans around someone who they know doesn't have plans, never has plan and whom they don't plan to invite along.

What do you consider a friend? The councellor at college said to me that, to him, a friend is someone you trust (and I like that description so I apply it as my own), so I guess i wouldn't call the people I talk to 'friends', just aquaitances cos I like them enough I suppose, I just wouldn't trust them.

Reply 16

seafairy

mrt84

I am also afraid to add random people on MySpace because they seem to have so many friends and too 'cool'. I only have Russell Peters on my list.

add me!

..
..you dont have to if you dont want though :smile:

Reply 17

BeesKnees

mrt84

I am also afraid to add random people on MySpace because they seem to have so many friends and too 'cool'. I only have Russell Peters on my list.

I sorta felt like that when I first moved to England. I didn't really know anybody and I was in a school where everybody was sort of stuck up so it was difficult to make friends until I went to the college i'm at now. I'm not the stereotypical "cool" person but atleast I can be myself without having to feel like I have to fit certain requirements to hang out with certain people. I'm abit of a loner too coz I like going to the movies by myself sometimes. It's not as bad as everyone thinks lol. I swear. If you are yourself you'll evetually meet people you get along with. What kinds of things do you like to do?

Reply 18

black_mamba

mrt84

I tried organising things last year and for my birthday this year, nobody wanted to go. I just gave up. I ended up staying home alone on my birthday.

No way! Any reasons why they didn't want to come?

Reply 19

pink_lucie

awww

its k, everyone has times like that. i think its moslty cos its the summer and everyone is with their family or on holiday. Things will pcik up in september when everyone bis back at school and college etc.