Should I give him my virginity?

The guy you're talking to sounds strange, you'll probably be able to find a sexual partner closer to home if you look hard enough.

Now that I've given my generic advice, what are you doing a PhD in OP? I'm interested.

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I'm not going to see him. He is coming to visit me (which is nice of him).

And to the guy that said this makes me a prostitute, don't be daft. Pro sutures make a profit from sleeping with the guy. I won't. He will just come to Edinburgh for a weekend and buy a hotel that he will sleep him and I will just join him

Everyone's missing the simple answer here: wait another few months. Be honest with him, tell him it's your first time and that you want a relationship to develop before you have sex. If he runs for the hills, that tells you it's a bad idea. Hopefully he'll say something to the effect of, 'fine by me'.

Seeing this as a 'now or never' situation is unhelpful, likewise so is comparing it to a ONS in a bar. Most people do still have sex in the context of relationships and that's a good context, especially the first time if you're already feeling vulnerable.

If he's worth having sex with, he should be understanding of the desire to get to know one another better. If you've dated a bit first then some of the legitimate concerns about safety that have been expressed here will be considerably lessened too.

If the fact that you're a virgin is becoming a mental block, there is no denying that just getting it over with when it isn't such a big thing is going to make you feel more relaxed and more confident. It's just logic.

This is so true. I feel much more confident now and don't feel stupid when people make sexual references (I understood them before, but it's different when you can say 'yeah, I know what you're talking about!'). Some of the looks I used to receive when somebody heard I was a virgin



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I wish everyone was as understanding as you!

If you give someone your virginity, does that mean they become a virgin?

Hi, I am a Phd student and I've just turned 30. I am also sadly a virgin. Like the movies, I just seem to have no luck with men. It's not that im ugly (I don't have a hunchback or anything) and im a slim size 8. I just get nervous and probably don't give off the right body language. I have no idea how to flirt. So I started talking to this guy online and he has offered to book a hotel for us and help me with my inexperience. I don't love him but he's ok. Should I do it?

No, don't do it. Sex is very emotional for women and you'll probably end up regretting it. And don't be nervous when talking to guys you like, you're not expected to ''perform'' (be charming, funny, confident etc), the guy knows it's his job.

Hi, I am a Phd student and I've just turned 30. I am also sadly a virgin. Like the movies, I just seem to have no luck with men. It's not that im ugly (I don't have a hunchback or anything) and im a slim size 8. I just get nervous and probably don't give off the right body language. I have no idea how to flirt. So I started talking to this guy online and he has offered to book a hotel for us and help me with my inexperience. I don't love him but he's ok. Should I do it?

Thanks. But guys tend to go for the girl who is obviously interested. I don't know how to convey that :-/

Hey, I'm not sure at all. And I'm worried about him. He seems to want a real relationship and I'm not sure im ready for that. He is smart and funny and handsome. I should think of my ex. But we are definitely over. And I want to be the right women for him.

I do have worries about him not being who he said he as you hear all those stories and he could be a serial killer but I will never know unless I meet him.

That's kind of the point of deciding not to meet him.