The Student Room Group

Boyfriend troubles

My boyfriend of a year and a half is acting different and I'm not sure why?

I feel neglected and unwanted. I haven't been complimented by him for a good few months now, this doesn't seem like a major issue, however being constantly insulted in the form of 'banter' at college has left me feeling insecure and paranoid and now I feel like I just don't look good enough for him.

We haven't been out in public together since January. We're both very busy, and I honestly do appreciate that he gets tired and sometimes we just want to lounge around together. But he has a new excuse every time I try to convince him to go out somewhere, even just into town. This coupled with not being complimented has made me wonder- is he embarrassed by me?

He is controlling to the point where he doesn't want me wearing certain clothes and he doesn't want me going out on weekends. I can understand that he may worry about me going out drinking, I would worry too, but I haven't been out clubbing even once in fear of him getting angry and leaving me.

He gets angry. When he does I'm made to feel like it's my fault. He tells me to "**** off" and or when I'm upset "I need to grow up". I constantly watch what I say because I hate it when he turns on me- he manages to make me feel completely broken and insignificant when he wants to.

In contrast to this, I don't want to paint him as the "bad guy". We honestly get along so well most of the time and he's one of the funniest people I know. I can be myself around him, and he's become my best friend and my boyfriend. I love him, and I'd do anything for him and wouldn't do anything to threaten our relationship.

What can I do to make him understand that the way that he is acting sometimes hurts me? I've tried explaining it to him, but I guess the way I said it came across wrong and he just got angry at me. How can I explain that he's acting strange?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
x


Well you can't be yourself around him if he's controlling, surely?

Sorry hun, but I honestly think that this guy will hurt you.

Of course you know him and I don't and it is your call. :console:

Try talking to him again, but don't be scared to break up if it comes to that.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous


I can be myself around him,



Original post by Anonymous

I constantly watch what I say



Well which one is it?
Reply 3
Me and my boyfriend have been together the same length,
It is about communication,
If you don't speak about problems then it won't work out..
Reply 4
Original post by rasberyl
Well you can't be yourself around him if he's controlling, surely?


Original post by scotttb
Well which one is it?


Didn't realise how much I had contradicted myself with that. What I mean is that I can be weird and carefree around him most of the time without worrying that he is judging me, but as soon as he gets in a bad mood I have to watch what I say and it's as if I'm walking on egg shells.


Original post by Top Queen

It is about communication,
If you don't speak about problems then it won't work out..


I'm not sure how to put across to him how worried he makes me when he gets angry. I've tried before, and I don't know if it's the way I'm wording it or just that he doesn't want to hear it.

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