Is it okay to randomly message a guy I just met?

Hello all,

I went to my local wildlife centre with kids group I volunteer with and the naturalist caught my eye. I actually recognised him from university but I'm not sure whether he knows my face. We had a brief conversation, although I had to concentrate on looking after the kids and didn't want to look like I was after him. He seemed nice and I found him attractive. I was only there for an hour. I was too shy to talk more but I might have been flirting without meaning to.

I caught his name and found him on facebook when I got home, although we never asked each other's name. Now I'm really curious about him and want to get to know him more. Would it be too weird to send him a facebook message? I kind of want to, so I can satisfy my curiosity about him. At the same time, I can deal with rejection.

So what do you think?

Reply 1

Zarek

I think facebook is ok since you have talked to him. Overall, for some reason, it is also less creepy for a girl to follow up in this way. Good luck

Reply 2

samba

It's hardly bank robbery now is it.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

I think facebook is ok since you have talked to him. Overall, for some reason, it is also less creepy for a girl to follow up in this way. Good luck

Thanks. I messaged him, asked to chat and add him as a friend. He replied with:

"Yeah go for it, thanks for getting in touch, would be good to chat. We seem to have some interesting mutual friends"

Then he asked me if I studied at same university as him.

It doesn't seem like he's interested in me, but it was worth a try... :smile:

Reply 4

Studentus-anonymous

Original post by Anonymous

He's not going to be interested after one random message.

Since you took the dive keep at it?

Believe it or not most guys aren't going to shoot their load all over a girl because she randomly messages him once.

Kudos on the bravery.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Studentus-anonymous

No I'm not flattering myself. I just don't want to look overly keen. I'll just forget about it for now. I replied with a question but he hasn't got back to me since.

haha your reply style is so blunt haha. It wasn't what I was expecting but you are funny :biggrin:

I'm kind of embarrassed now. I hope I don't have to bump into him EVER.

Reply 6

Studentus-anonymous

Original post by Anonymous

I'm kind of embarrassed now. I hope I don't have to bump into him EVER.

Meh just don't be all embarrassed about it. If you see him nod and smile or something and keep on going. No-one ever got far by not trying and you did.

best of luck OP.

Reply 7

Zarek

Original post by Anonymous

Brilliant. First instincts are often a good judge. But, you never know, you can still have a go a working some feminine charm..

Reply 8

GeorgeBuxey94

Personally, I'd love it if a girl did that

Reply 9

Maid Marian

You tried, no harm or shame in that :smile:

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Maid Marian

You tried, no harm or shame in that :smile:

Yeah you're right :smile:

If he replies, I wouldn't mind just being friendly with him as I'm content that not everyone will like me romantically.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by Studentus-anonymous

Meh just don't be all embarrassed about it. If you see him nod and smile or something and keep on going. No-one ever got far by not trying and you did.

best of luck OP.

We are still talking. He replies with a few paragraphs to my messages and it's just like one a day. One thing I'm having trouble with, although I'm assuming he's not interested in me, is whether he has a gf. I can't tell from his profile as his status is hidden. I think he's also put me on a limited profile list (which I don't blame him since I'm just some random girl atm). There are a few pictures with him and a girl from 4 months ago but that's all I can tell. Don't want to come across as super too keen but don't want to waste my time too much if he has a girl.

Basically how do I suss this out? how do I strike the iron while it's hot?

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Okay so he asked me out for a drink... I replied yesterday morning and said 'yes' but also that I'm not free until Wednesday - genuinely so because of essay due and party with friends then travelling for 3 days. I wasn't playing games.

He hasn't got back to me yet. Is that a bad sign?

Reply 13

LadyEcliptic

Don't think to much about him not replying back, he could be busy
(or like me, who says I'll reply in a minute and forgets to reply ever) jokes he's probably just busy :smile:

well done you for being brave enough to ask :^_^:

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by LadyEcliptic

Don't think to much about him not replying back, he could be busy
(or like me, who says I'll reply in a minute and forgets to reply ever) jokes he's probably just busy :smile:

well done you for being brave enough to ask :^_^:

He still hasn't got back to me. :frown:

ahhh....I'll try and focus on other things

Reply 15

Profesh

You're being incredibly neurotic about this.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by Profesh

You're being incredibly neurotic about this.

yeah to be honest, I think I am the neurotic personality type.

I do need to scale it down.

Thanks. It's like I overthink it you know...but I've been doing quite well...I've not been constantly checking facebook or anything like that. I've been good to myself...

it's just hard putting yourself out there - kind of worry if I said the wrong thing.

anyway thank you. I've always enjoyed reading your posts :smile:

Reply 17

C380

He just might be busy or not on Facebook at this moment. Try not to over think the situation, sort of just go with the flow. If you do end up going out for drinks and it goes well then great! If not don't fret, he wont be the last guy to ask you out.

I know its a lot easier said than done especially when you find the guy attractive but playing situations down often help to calm nerves. Good luck and remember don't fret. :smile: