If your significant other told you he/she is trans

Yeah, a trans* persons right to be safe and live their life free from oppression comes before other peoples right to know. I don't understand why people think they have a right to know about someone's past

but they aren't the same sex - they don't look like the same sex, they don't act like the same ex seriously why is it any different from dating someone of a different sex? You would never know unless they said something.

That said, if you also wouldn't date an infertile woman I can see that point of view.

There's no reason they should have to tell anybody, and I can't see why I would have a problem with it, especially if it was revealed to me some while into the relationship.

It really is quite different. They don't have functioning genitalia for one thing.

I'm sorry, but I think I've got a right to know who I'm dating. I'm not attracted to men at all, I want a woman in my life. I have the right known whether she's a woman born and bred or a man in disguise. I think it should be a criminal act if you deceive someone in such a way.

Em there are many reasons why they need to tell you before you have sex, the main one being "I'm not attracted to men, I want a woman in my life". Having someone, who is physically a man, lie to you about their sex is horrible.

Women do, they just have to use lube.

For men it is a lot more difficult as far as I know. Surely you would know they were transgender through issues in the bedroom pretty early on if that were the case though?

??!This is not something a "supporter of the LGBT community" would say.If you were already going out with them that must mean you like them, why would that change because of their history?

I would imagine so but who knows.

Without wishing to sound mean or in any way discriminatory, its not really a vagina though. Its a hole that's been drilled into their abdomen by a doctor and then their penis turned inside out and sewn up again. Thats a very different kettle of fish.

But what if they aren't physically a man? I agree, going to have sex with someone and finding a penis would be traumatising, but what if they are post op? And you've been going out with them and enjoying a healthy sex life for months?

but they aren't the same sex - they don't look like the same sex, they don't act like the same ex seriously why is it any different from dating someone of a different sex? You would never know unless they said something.

That said, if you also wouldn't date an infertile woman I can see that point of view.

Not really the point, is it?

If I had a mate who found it difficult to meet girls, and I paid a prostitute to go out on a date with him, it wouldn't make it right just because he didn't know the reality of the situation. If anything, it makes it worse.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, been there done that, currently in a relationship with a gender neutral person.I don't get why people would be so angry about it? As if they'd be intentionally decieving you. Its not something you tell someone you don't know well if there's only a chance of something more, its something you disclose once you trust and feel safe with that person. They're also not deceiving anyone. They are the gender they identify with, and they have the right to present and be considered as that. People also aren't considering the possibility that being trans is something a person might not have realised until after they started a relationship with you. How can you be furious about that. I think people need to take a step back and think about this, instead of assuming you'd be livid with a partner who came out to you as trans, consider the idea that you love them and that doing this would be a hell of a lot harder for them than it is for you.

I have a friend who's gf was born a man and apparently you can't really tell. It's just the lube issue.

I expect them to be straight up about it, before any sex takes place. I wouldn't ask them "are you a man or a woman?", but I would expect them to tell me, regardless if they're pre or post op I WOULD NOT DATE THEM.

A trans* person is not a "man in disguise" (or a woman in disguise, for someone transitioning the other way). They're not doing what they're doing in order to trick or deceive you. You are of course entirely in the right to not want to date anyone you don't want to date, but that still doesn't create an obligation on anyone else to disclose parts of their identity to you if they don't want to. (Parts of their identity which, again, put them at all kinds of risk and can be incredibly difficult to deal with constantly.)