Boyfriend wants to quit his job
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Original post by meenu89
And rely on her to pay all the bills and carry him until he finds a job? He can find jobs on the internet and book leave while he attends interviews.
Most jobs will not let you book leave at the notice that you are given for job interviews. That means you have to take sick days and sooner or later something is going to kick off.
He should save all his money up for a month or two then hand in his notice.
Why are you in such a big rush to move in together. Its natural to want to rebel a little when you feel like you're being pressured into something you're not ready for or happy with. Slow down, instead of trying to force him to go at your pace, communicate and find out how he feels and compromise. If you can't do this, then its not working out.
Taking "a couple of days break" to try and get him to agree with you by punishing him for not doing so is borderline blackmail.
Taking "a couple of days break" to try and get him to agree with you by punishing him for not doing so is borderline blackmail.
Original post by Kabloomybuzz
Why are you in such a big rush to move in together. Its natural to want to rebel a little when you feel like you're being pressured into something you're not ready for or happy with. Slow down, instead of trying to force him to go at your pace, communicate and find out how he feels and compromise. If you can't do this, then its not working out.
Taking "a couple of days break" to try and get him to agree with you by punishing him for not doing so is borderline blackmail.
Taking "a couple of days break" to try and get him to agree with you by punishing him for not doing so is borderline blackmail.
Lol the "couple of days break". He is likely going to dump her pretty soon.
Maybe put your plans on hold until he sorts his stuff out. Either that or give the ultimatum you've inevitably got in mind.
If his situation is as bad as he implies you telling him what he needs to do may result in him letting the relationship go.
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If his situation is as bad as he implies you telling him what he needs to do may result in him letting the relationship go.
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Original post by Kabloomybuzz
Why are you in such a big rush to move in together. Its natural to want to rebel a little when you feel like you're being pressured into something you're not ready for or happy with. Slow down, instead of trying to force him to go at your pace, communicate and find out how he feels and compromise. If you can't do this, then its not working out.
Taking "a couple of days break" to try and get him to agree with you by punishing him for not doing so is borderline blackmail.
Taking "a couple of days break" to try and get him to agree with you by punishing him for not doing so is borderline blackmail.
This.
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Original post by redferry
My partner leaved the house at 7:30 and gets home at 9 5 days a week. A good qjality application takes up the whole weekend so you can only apply for jobs ridiculously slowly.
Quitting and investing all your time into it means you find a new job much more quickly.
Quitting and investing all your time into it means you find a new job much more quickly.
It's nice in theory, but I'd take a guaranteed income and longer to get a new job than no job and no further guarantee of anything.
I've done the same hours as your partner and I managed to apply to things fine. If OP's boyfriend hates his job so much, let it be a motivation for him.
Why would you even consider moving in with somebody who you've had to take "a couple of days break" from because you were annoying each other when you DON'T live together??
Honestly, the number of people who put so much of their time into bad relationships astounds me.
Honestly, the number of people who put so much of their time into bad relationships astounds me.
If all fails - break up.
Original post by TurboCretin
It's nice in theory, but I'd take a guaranteed income and longer to get a new job than no job and no further guarantee of anything.
I've done the same hours as your partner and I managed to apply to things fine. If OP's boyfriend hates his job so much, let it be a motivation for him.
I've done the same hours as your partner and I managed to apply to things fine. If OP's boyfriend hates his job so much, let it be a motivation for him.
If my boyfriend doesn't get the job he has a final interview for next week he is handing his notice in because he hates it so much that his mental health is starting to suffer. We will just move in with my parents if that happens though so its not like we super need the income.
Original post by Phelps
So me and my boyfriend are planning to move into together june time and we are both in reasonably well paid jobs (I earn around £1100 where he earns around £1000) - we've literally just had a couple of days apart as I we we're getting frustrated with each other as i want to start saving money whereas if he wants to go out, he'll go out - I think his words were 'I don't like being told what to do' - anyway I gave him a couple of days to think about whether he wanted to be with me and get a place together which he eventually said yes too - he's only been in this job for about 2 months and it's sales based and he's not liking it - he text me earlier saying he wants to leave as he can't do the job anymore in which I replied that it was fine but he needs to find another job first - he replied saying he just wants to leave so I don't know how to say to him that if he's serious about getting a place together he needs to stay and be earning because I can't support us both. Any advice? Thanks 
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*My boyfriend and I
He isn't in the same place as you (relationship wise, not literally). Leaving a job before you have another lined up is stupid, not wanting to save money is childish but its his choice. What do you have in common? You may need to wait for him to catch up in terms of what he wants from the relationship.
Original post by bhav777
*My boyfriend and I
Repped cause that made me laugh more than I should have.
Original post by MissNix
Repped cause that made me laugh more than I should have.
The Grammar Police: Administering truncheon to the head since 1pm this afternoon.
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Original post by Phelps
So me and my boyfriend are planning to move into together june time and we are both in reasonably well paid jobs (I earn around £1100 where he earns around £1000) - we've literally just had a couple of days apart as I we we're getting frustrated with each other as i want to start saving money whereas if he wants to go out, he'll go out - I think his words were 'I don't like being told what to do' - anyway I gave him a couple of days to think about whether he wanted to be with me and get a place together which he eventually said yes too - he's only been in this job for about 2 months and it's sales based and he's not liking it - he text me earlier saying he wants to leave as he can't do the job anymore in which I replied that it was fine but he needs to find another job first - he replied saying he just wants to leave so I don't know how to say to him that if he's serious about getting a place together he needs to stay and be earning because I can't support us both. Any advice? Thanks ]
]£1-1100 per month is not a 'reasonably well paid' job.
How long have the two of you actually been together?
From his side: I've experienced working I job I loathe. Switched from one area of a company to another and started disliking it very quickly. Stuck with it for nearly a year while applying for grad schemes because I needed the income for rent while searching for another job.
However, a regular income was a huge priority for me as I had absolutely no intention of moving out of London and away from the life I have here. If your boyfriend despises his job and doesn't feel he needs the money, I can see why his mindset is simply to leave his job.
He can, however, spend his money how he wishes. Going out doesn't negate saving unless he's blowing a lot every time he does so. You're also not clear on what you'd classify as going out.
From your side: being controlling and trying to pressure him into a decision helps nothing. You'll have a boyfriend stuck in a job he hates, who isn't sure he wants to move in with you. You'll begin to resent each other and argue a lot, if you're already doing so.
Take some time to ask why he hates his job so much and what he'd like to do about things; what kind of job does he want to work? When does he think he'll have saved enough? etc
A generic sales job isn't all that hard to find. Given that he'll have a notice period to work and that turn-around between interview and start date is very quick in sales type roles, he may find it easier to find a job while on his notice period or shortly after he's resigned. He'll be in a better frame of mind, for one.
Original post by ISawBum
Are you his girlfriend or his mother?
Thats what a lot of relationships end up being about...control.
Original post by Xenonz
Seems more like you gave him an ultimatum. Move in with me or we break up. To me it seems a bit like a threat.
Also why do you have to move in together right now? Can't it wait until he's ready because to me it seems like he isn't.
Seems more like you gave him an ultimatum. Move in with me or we break up. To me it seems a bit like a threat.
Also why do you have to move in together right now? Can't it wait until he's ready because to me it seems like he isn't.
I said to him we didn't have to move into together if he wasn't ready, I'd need a place regardless but he said it was all or nothing as he pretty much lives at mine at the moment without paying bills/rent
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Original post by Knalchemist
Not too sure on this...
OP is moaning at BF for not saving and spending all his money.. yet OP earns 1100, rent is only 280+some bills.. yet can only manage to save £500 in 3 months? Where is your money going?.
OP is moaning at BF for not saving and spending all his money.. yet OP earns 1100, rent is only 280+some bills.. yet can only manage to save £500 in 3 months? Where is your money going?.
I've only had this job since end of feb so I've only been paid once as of yet - the £500 we've saved is from spare change we've been putting in a tin and as we were both previously working in bars we saved all of our tip money from the start of January.
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It doesn't seem like he wants to commit, so don't move in with him. You are guilty of giving him ultimatums and trying to manipulate him, but he is guilty of acting like a 13 year old. Find someone else if you're looking for a serious relationship
He hates it so much because he's working long hours for less than minimum wage and he said that sales just isn't for him - I said I'd support him in any decision that he makes but i also said that if he's serious about moving in together he can't just blow all of his next wage when he feels like it and will have to prioritize - obviously said not so blunt.
His boss really doesn't want to see him go so has offered him housekeeping with 24 hours minimum and his sister who works at the Leeds site (we're in Newcastle) has said she might be able to get a marketing job for him but that would mean I'd then have to quit my job and move down to Leeds - it's all just a bit up in the air at the minute.
I've got to be out of this tenancy end of june and finding a place in Newcastle is stressful enough without the possibility of moving to Leeds never having been before.
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His boss really doesn't want to see him go so has offered him housekeeping with 24 hours minimum and his sister who works at the Leeds site (we're in Newcastle) has said she might be able to get a marketing job for him but that would mean I'd then have to quit my job and move down to Leeds - it's all just a bit up in the air at the minute.
I've got to be out of this tenancy end of june and finding a place in Newcastle is stressful enough without the possibility of moving to Leeds never having been before.
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