Would you date a poor person ?!

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Would you date someone who was poor (say minimum wage or even unemployed)

Would it make a difference if

1. Poor out of choice / settled
2. Poor out of circumstance , tries hard but can't get a break

Depends.
As other people have said
1) Nope, 2) Quite possibly - I wouldn't really be cool with someone not putting the effort in. Taking the time to find a job/being unable to work or whatever is different.

Also, I'm a poor student, so are the majority of people I know, so I can't really say that I wouldn't look at anyone "poor" :tongue:

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(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 21

Doctor_Einstein

Original post by DiZZeeKiD

This. I don't care how much money someone has, but I do care if they are lazy, unmotivated or not ambitious. Pride is more important than wealth.

What if they are extremely ambitious and successful as something that doesn't make much money, but still helps the community immensely?

Reply 22

Doctor_Einstein

Original post by Paralove

1, no. 2, yes.

If they can't be arsed, then nor can I.

Why do you assume that just because they are poor they are lazy? What if they spend all their time helping people in need and are satisfied with living a less than luxurious life themselves because they would rather give back to the community than take from it?

Reply 23

DiZZeeKiD

Original post by mojojojo101

Pride is a vice, it shouldn't be something desirable or enviable. One can of course have self-respect without being prideful.

Anyway the first question does not specify 'choice' clearly. Is working a job you enjoy over one that pays well choosing to be poor? Is not being a greedy career driven asswipe choosing to be poor?

I'm SURE most of you people wouldn't date me, I have no ambition to do 'well', I don't really care about money much more than the bare minimum and I probably come of as lazy and unmotivated to you. Am I sad or upset by that? No. Am I going to make any change in my personality to accommodate you or someone like you? No. Why? Because I'd be ****ing miserable and being happy is more important than absolutely anything else you care to mention.

Pride doesn't have to be a vice. You can be proud of your accomplishments and have pride in your achievements without this being a negative attribute. It's all about context.

Your second rhetorical question makes no sense to me. It's not about being driven to earn lots of money, being happy is obviously paramount to being rich, you've misconstrued what I've said. I have no problem with people not wanting to earn a massive salary, I do have a problem with people that are not driven to achieve their potential, whatever that might be.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 24

DiZZeeKiD

Original post by Doctor_Einstein

What if they are extremely ambitious and successful as something that doesn't make much money, but still helps the community immensely?

Then that is the epitome of success, in my opinion. It's not about money, it's about achieving your potential and working hard, and if that can incorporate elements of altruism then that is the best kind of achievement.

Reply 25

username1332537

No I woudn't as I am poor too so bad combo.

Reply 26

martin jol

if the poor person in question was hot, then yes i would.

Reply 27

arminb

Original post by Gondur

Poor and attractive - Yes

Poor and unattractive - No

Looks mean everything.

^^^THIS^^^
If I had to choose between,
3, rich and attractive
4, poor and attractive
I'd 4 'cause I don't get on with rich people. They are empty with no soul, they are all shoes and bags. Not all, I mean there is good chance.

Reply 28

Paralove

Original post by Doctor_Einstein

That was not my answer. If they could not be bothered to get a job or do something of any kind, no way. But if they had been trying and being unfortunate, that's different.

Also, surely they would be taking benefits, unless living with parents or having some big pot of money, no?

Reply 29

Doctor_Einstein

Original post by Paralove

No they have not been trying, because they don't mind being poor. All they care about is helping others. Imagine this person is poor and works his but off everyday for those in need, rather than even attempting to gain any wealth for himself. Assume he lives on benefits.

Reply 30

Le Nombre

1) Provided they've settled because they love their job, not laziness.

2) Yes.

I have money so it's not a major issue if they don't.

Reply 31

Paralove

Original post by Doctor_Einstein

At what point did I say that the job had to be well paying? I wouldn't want them purely living off of benefits and doing nothing with their life.

Reply 32

txo

1 - definitely not. Would not share anything in common with this person so no attraction towards a relationship anyway.

2 - maybe. I'd like to think I can try, but I honestly think it would be quite difficult at times because I would want to help the person out, but at the same time I wouldn't be okay with them being financially dependent on me. And going out for meals, buying presents for each other, going on holidays and all that other stuff would be hard. As someone who likes to splurge on things once in a while, I would feel extremely guilty when buying myself something knowing I could help pay for my partners rent for that month. I'd feel guilty when even mentioning dining out for the evening when you know your partner is struggling to pay for things. I don't think I could live the lifestyle I want with someone who isn't on a similar income to me.

Reply 33

cole-slaw

Original post by JusDePomme

If you liked someone, their personal economic circumstances are probably quite a long way down the list of considerations, somewhere between their favourite colour and their opinion on the best shape of pasta.

Reply 34

pierreboobvier

If they lack motivation, and have given up on bothering to change their circumstance - no.

If they just cannot grab a break, but they're trying to change their fate - sure. :smile:

Reply 35

DarkWhite

1. yes.
2. yes.

I say yes to number 1 as well as 2 because there is a difference between choosing to do something which leaves you poor, and being lazy.

I know some highly determined activists who get by on minimum wage jobs leaving themselves not very well off, but they are far from lazy or ambitious.

Plus, a lot of the things I enjoy doing don't reap financial rewards:

Explorer Scout Leader? Unpaid.
Campaigning? Unpaid.
Students' Union volunteering? Unpaid.
Trustee/Director work? Expenses covered but unpaid.
Mountaineering? Unpaid. I could self-employ but it takes a while to build a reputation.

It just so happens I also enjoy breaking computers and that pays rather well.

Reply 36

Alfissti

Poor and lazy or benefit scrounging then most certainly not. Also applies if her family are that way then it would be a no even if she is not like that.

Working poor, depends. She will need to have lots of other redeeming qualities for me to excuse her lack of net worth.

I generally follow a 20% rule, means economically she shouldn't be +-20% of how much I earn. However it doesn't stop me from being in a relationship with a nice Norwegian lady whom I make 12x more in income. :biggrin: