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How to stop being insecure/needy and develop self esteem

I have literally no self esteem or self confidence when it comes to dating. When I really like someone I get obsessed and always wonder if they are with me for the right reasons, how much they like me, and always seeking reassurance of it. It actually drives people away understandably. Things were going great with a recent guy until I started doing this and now things have taken a turn for the worst and really gone down hill because of it.

I feel anxious all the time even though when I see him he tells me likes me etc, but I still feel needy to hear about his feelings. He says in person I am great but when I am not with him I drive him crazy with all the feeling talk.

I have had some bad experiences with guys. The first guy I ever liked when I was 10 pretended to like me and then when I said I liked him he himiliated me infront of the class and was laughed at for ages. Even in secondary school I was with a guy who cheated on me and from there my experiences have got worse but mainly due to me driving them away with always needing reassurance and lack of trust.

How do I stop this? I wish I could just relax. Has anyone tried hypnosis for this type of thing or read any good books? I really want to change. I can't handle these feelings of anxiety and neediness and insecurity.