The Student Room Group

Girls or boys? Who pays?

Personally, I think boys should pay for most things but not everything, and I do think girls should pay for things too at times. But I would never pay for anything for someone who I wasn't in a relationship with for a long time.

In the first year of my relationship I never spent a penny when we went out (me and my boyfriend) but after a year I decided to start paying for things too, I'd say it's about 35:65 - me being the 35 in the ratio. But he will always have to pay more and tbh he wouldn't have it any other way. He says it's the mans job to do so.

What do you think?

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Reply 1
I'll be honest, I am impressed by guys who offer to pay on the first date. However, I learnt from experience that letting a guy pay for you can be a slippery road. I remember letting a guy pay for me a lot and then when I realised it wasn't really working for me, I felt terribly guilty when I tried to break it off.

I prefer to go halfs, but I also have no problem paying for my partner every now and then.
Reply 2
You should pay for your own things.

I don't even accept birthday gifts from girls.
Lol good luck with that attitude , it sounds to me like your relationships have been like business transactions .

When you start ageing your pissed.
Reply 4
Original post by Scott.
You should pay for your own things.

I don't even accept birthday gifts from girls.


Lol, you don't accept birthday gifts from girls? That's a bit extreme.
The man may offer to pay on the first couple of dates just because it is a staple of dating culture (convenient that). After that the relationship becomes established and each member of the couple should pay roughly alternately.

For young people, they should pay according to their means. Young people don't date anyway (we're not Americans), so it's less of an issue.
Reply 6
Why should boys pay for most things? Are you talking about paying for the meals/whatevers of both people, or just themselves? It isn't the 'man's job' to do so, why would it be? How does that even make sense today?

The person who wants to pay, should, gender roles aside. But ideally I think when dating you should 'split' or take it in turns to pay. It is slightly different in an established relationship in which one earns significantly more than the other but still desires nice meals/outings etc.
Reply 7
Original post by Jaegon Targaryen
Lol good luck with that attitude , it sounds to me like your relationships have been like business transactions .

When you start ageing your pissed.


Why am I pissed?
Reply 8
Original post by Top Queen
Lol, you don't accept birthday gifts from girls? That's a bit extreme.




Not really.

If I want something I buy it myself, I'm not going to rely on anyone else to do it. Whether it's a nice gesture or not.
Reply 9
Original post by H0ls
I'll be honest, I am impressed by guys who offer to pay on the first date. However, I learnt from experience that letting a guy pay for you can be a slippery road. I remember letting a guy pay for me a lot and then when I realised it wasn't really working for me, I felt terribly guilty when I tried to break it off.

I prefer to go halfs, but I also have no problem paying for my partner every now and then.


Original post by awe
Why should boys pay for most things? Are you talking about paying for the meals/whatevers of both people, or just themselves? It isn't the 'man's job' to do so, why would it be? How does that even make sense today?

The person who wants to pay, should, gender roles aside. But ideally I think when dating you should 'split' or take it in turns to pay. It is slightly different in an established relationship in which one earns significantly more than the other but still desires nice meals/outings etc.


Interesting!
Personally, I'm not too fussy but I'd expect him to pay and he always pays,
Sometimes I offer and he's like don't be silly etc,
I have paid on occasions but even then I think I only pay 80%, he always has to chip in or he doesn't feel happy,
I like the way things are though. I don't think I could be with someone who couldn't pay for me at LEAST every now and then without having to be told.
Reply 10
Original post by Top Queen
Interesting!
Personally, I'm not too fussy but I'd expect him to pay and he always pays,
Sometimes I offer and he's like don't be silly etc,
I have paid on occasions but even then I think I only pay 80%, he always has to chip in or he doesn't feel happy,
I like the way things are though. I don't think I could be with someone who couldn't pay for me at LEAST every now and then without having to be told.


Why do you expect him to, though?
You really couldn't 'be with someone' who wouldn't pay for your food?
And you would actually tell someone to pay for you?
Sorry for what seems like incessant questioning,
Reply 11
Original post by awe
Why do you expect him to, though?
You really couldn't 'be with someone' who wouldn't pay for your food?
And you would actually tell someone to pay for you?
Sorry for what seems like incessant questioning,



I wouldn't be like erm hey pay for me now, but when we were alone after I'd be like maybe you need to pay for me sometimes, or if it was the first date, I wouldn't meet them again.

I could be with someone who couldn't pay for my food, that isn't a problem, but if we always went out to places and they couldn't pay for me then I couldn't be with them. It's a quality that I find attractive in a male, some females like tall men, I like men who can pay and treat their girls.
I'd never have a second date with someone that expected me to pay for the first.

Birthday treats aside, I've always split 50/50 with my girlfriends, and would expect nothing less.
Reply 13
Original post by antipathy
I'd never have a second date with someone that expected me to pay for the first.

Birthday treats aside, I've always split 50/50 with my girlfriends, and would expect nothing less.


I could never have a second date with someone who didn't pay for the first or any other after that.
I'm sorry buy I've actually had enough of this attitude that they guy should pay for a date. If he asked you out he's expected to pay, if she asks him out, he's expected to be a gentleman and pay. I've seen plenty feminists argue this ideology and it makes me sick. No, don't expect the guy to want to or just pay for you. Go splits or pay for your stuff.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean I wouldn't pay, I just don't want people to expert me to have to pay.
Reply 15
Original post by Top Queen
Personally, I think boys should pay for most things but not everything, and I do think girls should pay for things too at times. But I would never pay for anything for someone who I wasn't in a relationship with for a long time.

In the first year of my relationship I never spent a penny when we went out (me and my boyfriend) but after a year I decided to start paying for things too, I'd say it's about 35:65 - me being the 35 in the ratio. But he will always have to pay more and tbh he wouldn't have it any other way. He says it's the mans job to do so.

What do you think?


This is exactly the kind of relationship I would like. Not because I can't pay for myself, but I would like a guy to insist. I just think it's really hot when a guy doesn't want his girlfriend to pay a penny. Although, it's not a determining factor, it would just be a bonus. And when I'm talking about paying, I mean things we do together as a couple.
Original post by Top Queen
Why am I pissed?


I'm making assumptions here but you seem like the type to become a trophy wife , once your sole worth begins to diminish , hes gonna seek a new younger model , I guarantee it
I think it's a nice gesture for a guy to pay but i'd be happy to split it & i'd always offer to split it. I'd never offer to pay the whole thing though haha
On an early date, before an actual relationship starts, whoever asked should pay (at least the majority if you want to split it), if its a blind date, split equally.

When in a relationship I go by the method of just not bothering to think about it. I tend to go out with girls who aren't particularly fussed about money so whoever happens to have money at the time pays. Normally evens itself out pretty equally in the long run though I have honestly never bothered to calculate it accurately.
Reply 19
Original post by Jaegon Targaryen
I'm making assumptions here but you seem like the type to become a trophy wife , once your sole worth begins to diminish , hes gonna seek a new younger model , I guarantee it



Mmm, mmm, sounds true. An ex did once call me his trophy girlfriend, I just found that quite weird.

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