Boyfriend doesn't want sex as often as I do

I think for the most part of our relationship (about 2 years), I've been the one who was interested in sex more often than him but it this hasn't bothered me until a few months ago, when we started having sex less often than before, to the point where it now happens about every 2 weeks. Is that the average for young people? I used to be happy with 2-3 times a week.

To be fair, it does seem like there is a reason for sex not to happen most nights (we don't live together, he has a flatmate, a lot of times they have people over, we're both busy until late in the evening and then we're tired or feel that we have to go to sleep soon because we have to get up early etc) However, I wonder whether there is another reason, as I assume most people have to deal with similar circumstances and nothing in those circumstances changed for us either. He seems to like spending time with me as much as before, this is the only thing that changed.

I've tried talking to him, and he said that he just hasn't been feeling like it lately. I can't see what more we can discuss on the subject. I feel petty for being bothered about this, but it's an annoyance. I can't help thinking that I'm missing out on an essential part of having a relationship. Is this normal/ a phase that will pass, considering it's been like this for about 3 or 4 months?

I think for the most part of our relationship (about 2 years), I've been the one who was interested in sex more often than him but it this hasn't bothered me until a few months ago, when we started having sex less often than before, to the point where it now happens about every 2 weeks. Is that the average for young people? I used to be happy with 2-3 times a week.

To be fair, it does seem like there is a reason for sex not to happen most nights (we don't live together, he has a flatmate, a lot of times they have people over, we're both busy until late in the evening and then we're tired or feel that we have to go to sleep soon because we have to get up early etc) However, I wonder whether there is another reason, as I assume most people have to deal with similar circumstances and nothing in those circumstances changed for us either. He seems to like spending time with me as much as before, this is the only thing that changed.

I've tried talking to him, and he said that he just hasn't been feeling like it lately. I can't see what more we can discuss on the subject. I feel petty for being bothered about this, but it's an annoyance. I can't help thinking that I'm missing out on an essential part of having a relationship. Is this normal/ a phase that will pass, considering it's been like this for about 3 or 4 months?

I think for the most part of our relationship (about 2 years), I've been the one who was interested in sex more often than him but it this hasn't bothered me until a few months ago, when we started having sex less often than before, to the point where it now happens about every 2 weeks. Is that the average for young people? I used to be happy with 2-3 times a week.

To be fair, it does seem like there is a reason for sex not to happen most nights (we don't live together, he has a flatmate, a lot of times they have people over, we're both busy until late in the evening and then we're tired or feel that we have to go to sleep soon because we have to get up early etc) However, I wonder whether there is another reason, as I assume most people have to deal with similar circumstances and nothing in those circumstances changed for us either. He seems to like spending time with me as much as before, this is the only thing that changed.

I've tried talking to him, and he said that he just hasn't been feeling like it lately. I can't see what more we can discuss on the subject. I feel petty for being bothered about this, but it's an annoyance. I can't help thinking that I'm missing out on an essential part of having a relationship. Is this normal/ a phase that will pass, considering it's been like this for about 3 or 4 months?

I think for the most part of our relationship (about 2 years), I've been the one who was interested in sex more often than him but it this hasn't bothered me until a few months ago, when we started having sex less often than before, to the point where it now happens about every 2 weeks. Is that the average for young people? I used to be happy with 2-3 times a week.

To be fair, it does seem like there is a reason for sex not to happen most nights (we don't live together, he has a flatmate, a lot of times they have people over, we're both busy until late in the evening and then we're tired or feel that we have to go to sleep soon because we have to get up early etc) However, I wonder whether there is another reason, as I assume most people have to deal with similar circumstances and nothing in those circumstances changed for us either. He seems to like spending time with me as much as before, this is the only thing that changed.

I've tried talking to him, and he said that he just hasn't been feeling like it lately. I can't see what more we can discuss on the subject. I feel petty for being bothered about this, but it's an annoyance. I can't help thinking that I'm missing out on an essential part of having a relationship. Is this normal/ a phase that will pass, considering it's been like this for about 3 or 4 months?

What kind of a guy doesn't want sex? I assume he finds you attractive?

In the relationships I've been in we've had sex from between 3 times a week (more because we were both working 100+ hour weeks than we didn't want to do it more) and twice a day. No idea what's normal.


Posted from TSR Mobile

I think you just have to talk to him about this. I've had it before - not living together, working, tired, stressed, bloated, difficulties about the bed/room/noise/whatever. It all builds up and just results in nothing really happening. But the point is, if I've got it right, it's not that he's gone off sex itself, it's just going off the 'effort' that having sex requires sometimes at the end of the day.

I think you should do two things - talk to him about it, firstly. It's totally something you can be candid about. Don't just ask what's up (assuming that's what you did), really suggest that you know he enjoys the sex so feel that you could 'both' make a bit more effort to have it more often. It would seem pushy in another context, but considering this is a change and there are all these factors working against you two having sex, I think it could be worth just trying to encourage more effort with a little bit more encouragement than perhaps you already have. I think when you start doing that and can try finding time for it here and there, he will realise it was daft to ever stop having it a little more frequently. At least, that's what I did. P: The second thing is to really make the sex good when you are having it. Make it brilliant every time, truly enjoy it. Afterwards, he'll think '****, why haven't I been saying yes to that more often?!'

If all of the above is missing the point completely, and you really think you want to be having sex more often, you have to take it seriously. 3 or 4 months is quite a long 'phase' I'm afraid. Would you leave him over something like this? I think it would be fine to, it's not petty to want someone compatible with you in this aspect of the relationship, but so long as you are sure it's that important to you thus won't regret it.

Why are you upset because you feel rejected or just because you are horny and want sex?

I think for the most part of our relationship (about 2 years), I've been the one who was interested in sex more often than him but it this hasn't bothered me until a few months ago, when we started having sex less often than before, to the point where it now happens about every 2 weeks. Is that the average for young people? I used to be happy with 2-3 times a week.

To be fair, it does seem like there is a reason for sex not to happen most nights (we don't live together, he has a flatmate, a lot of times they have people over, we're both busy until late in the evening and then we're tired or feel that we have to go to sleep soon because we have to get up early etc) However, I wonder whether there is another reason, as I assume most people have to deal with similar circumstances and nothing in those circumstances changed for us either. He seems to like spending time with me as much as before, this is the only thing that changed.

I've tried talking to him, and he said that he just hasn't been feeling like it lately. I can't see what more we can discuss on the subject. I feel petty for being bothered about this, but it's an annoyance. I can't help thinking that I'm missing out on an essential part of having a relationship. Is this normal/ a phase that will pass, considering it's been like this for about 3 or 4 months?

Inb4 'he must be gay'

Edit: Damn, beaten to the punch already...