Is being a virgin a big deal?

I'm English but I've never lived in the UK, so I'm not that familiar with the social norms of people around my age (I'm 17, going to uni in England later this year). From what I've been reading on this thread, it sounds like there is a lot of social stigma surrounding those that are still virgin at any age – before, during, and after university. In the places I've lived there isn't much of a one-night-stand culture, and among my friends, no one really cares. Virgin? Great. Not virgin? Good for you. This is the same for both guys and girls.

So is really that much of a big deal to be a virgin? If so, why is that? Is it worse to be virgin as a girl or a guy?

Reply 1

Scott.

Virgins aren't that great in bed, and when you're looking for a one night stand, you're not going to want someone who's bad in bed.

When you're in a relationship it's not as important.

Reply 2

Jebedee

Depends on your gender.

Reply 3

justanotherposter

Do you mean friendship wise? Most people don't care, it'd be pretty weird if someone refused to be friends with a virgin

Reply 4

Really_now

I've found people were quite surprised that I was still a virgin when I got to university. My friends took the mick a bit when I finally lost it saying "finally" and stuff like that. People might be a bit surprised but no one's going to not be your friends because of it.

Reply 5

El Salvador

Those are just jokes.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

I'm 18 and most of my current friends are virgins and not planning on having sex before uni. I think it is normal

Reply 7

MsFahima

It's not a big deal but some just make it seem like it is. To some, if you're a virgin, it's like it's the end of the world! :rolleyes:

Reply 8

lucaf

yeah at 17 you have nothing to worry about, I am nearly 20 and I still have quite a few friends my age who have never had sex. It isn't that abnormal.

Reply 9

MidnightDream

All my friends are virgins it's really not a big deal :smile:

Reply 10

shawn_o1

No! Stop making it a big deal! Loads of people are virgins and don't complain about it, including myself, and I know someone bordering on his 50's who's never had sex

Reply 11

Wattsy

Not a big deal but just ride the virgin joke, own your V plates and people will respect you for that, don't get all awkward or lie, lying makes you look insecure and shows that you feel a stigma about it.

Reply 12

sr90

Volunteer Team

The only person who cares is yourself.

Reply 13

Comus

Original post by Anonymous

I wouldn't stress about it; it won't be a problem. When you go into uni there will still be a large proportion of people who are still virgins. :smile:

Reply 14

awe

Original post by Anonymous

No no no. (: People who have a negative opinion on virgins are not worth your time. Personally, I find virginity to be a stupid concept - a focus on 'first time', fine, and biologically of course there's the 'virgin'. But I hate how being a 'virgin' becomes this huge thing, and virginity is something like a gift - it shouldn't be like that. It's what you make it, not what everyone else thinks of it. It absolutely doesn't matter if you're a virgin and if you meet nice, decent people, they will share that sentiment.

Reply 15

PricklyPorcupine

Once you're over 18, it's like being a freaking unicorn IMO. So embrace it.

Reply 16

txo

No one really cares about it. People like to make jokes for fun but that doesn't mean anything.

No one is going to seriously judge you for it.

Reply 17

TheGalwayGirl

It's really not a big deal, anyone who makes it a big deal isn't worth your time...

Reply 18

L'Etudiant

I remember how people used to look at people (Both boys and girls) differently upon finding out they had sex, it was like they had suddenly become a demon or something (not innocent, 'dirty', slag etc.)

On the matter of people who are a virgin at ages above, say 16+ it won't be an issue if don't make it public. I'm pretty sure being a virgin doesn't make someone act a certain way that makes it seem obvious that they are a virgin. Keep it to yourself and no one will care and if asked, say you don't feel comfortable discussing it/ don't want to.

The older people get the less they will care as they will see how stupid those kind of judgements were.