I'm sick of being forced to go to church

My mum is a Roman Catholic so she forces us to go to church for an hour and a half every Sunday. Now, I am most certainly not a Roman Catholic. I find myself zoning out in mass out of sheer boredom- and what makes it worse is that I'm also forced to socialise with people after church for at least half an hour -_-
Normally, I don't complain, I've kind of got used to it. But she's forcing me to go to church today, because it's Good Friday. I don't want to go, I have revision to do. How do I get her to stop forcing me to go to church with her, and essentially forcing her beliefs on me?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

xDave-

Tell her you don't believe in it?

Reply 2

WanderingWorrier

Original post by xDave-

Tell her you don't believe in it?

Already did so when she was going on about how I should only marry a Christian guys because they're 'the only ones with morals'.
She had a freak out and then started claiming that I was being indoctrinated by my dad (they're separated).

Reply 3

Reue

If you're old enough to be using an online forum; you're old enough to decide your own religious views.

Make it clear you don't agree with it and just refuse to go. I can't stand people who try to enforce their religious views on others.

Move out/get a job.

Original post by WanderingWorrier

My mother's the same way, just this morning, my mom had a freak out when I said that it was weird how Christians mourn for one day instead of the three days like the Bible said and my mom started to scold me about how I was being indoctrinated by my school about the 'true practice' of Christianity. (She would most likely fail RE y'know since RE is all about questioning religion.)

It was also getting quite annoying since she always have ranted about the 'right' values and all that. i'm actually scared to ask her about her opinion on the legalisation of gay marriage since I don't want to live with the fact that my mom could possibly be homophobic. I'm quite liberal with most things so to know that one of your parents could be a possible homophobic is terrifying.

Anyway, I'm starting to rant so I'll stop now. I don't really know what to tell you since your mom might have different reaction or you might think that this solution is really stupid and sinful or something but what I'm planning to do is to just make false promises about doing something that she wants but not doing it when I grow up. Just today, she started to tell me about how she expects me to go to church every single sunday and to take day-off every sunday. But I don't have the patience to do that, I had to sit through 2 hours and 30 mins of Church and a further 2 hours on sunday. It's preposterous, right? I actually wanted to injure myself to get out of church.

All i can say is, just bear with it, by the time you move out, you can stop, anyway. There's no other solution for it unless you want to hear your mom rant about values, religion for hours and hours and hours. And trust me, that sounds worst than it it is.

Reply 6

Commercial Paper

So what would happen if you just didn't go one Sunday? Just said no and slept in/stayed at home...

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

Budashra

I'm afraid as long as you are under your parent's roof you have to observe their traditions and obey them. If you have already tried talking to them and that hasn't worked then just bear with. You will soon move out anywhere.

Reply 8

xoxAngel_Kxox

Original post by Budashra

I disagree. There's a difference between abiding by their rules and being forced to do something that you don't believe in. Also, something like going to church is a highly personal choice. Parents can absolutely teach their children about their religion (and might hope that they follow them) but they have to be prepared for them to come to their own conclusions when they're old enough to do so. As long as the child (or young person, whatever) is old enough to be in the house on their own I strongly believe that they should have the right to choose whether they go to church or not. If they don't believe in God, or don't identify with the religion, then church is a bit of a pointless exercise anyway.

Parents should be proud that they've raised a child who is able to take evidence (or lack of) and draw their own conclusions based upon that.

Sit your parents down, explain that you respect their beliefs but they should respect yours, too. Tell them that you don't believe in God and that you don't need to discuss it, they just need to accept it. Or, if you think it would make it easier, say that you don't feel as though you need to go to church to talk to God, because you can do it wherever you are. That might be more acceptable.

Reply 9

MarieJanes

Okay, I'm a RC mom and if my son decided that he no longer believed in our faith then I would have failed miserably as a mother. Also, if you're living under her roof you should be respectful and abide by her wishes. If you don't want to respect her and abide by her wishes then you need to move out.

Reply 10

Paralove

Original post by MarieJanes

The parent/s should also be respectful of their children. What is the point in dragging the poor kid to church when they gain nothing from it but wasted time? They don't believe in any of it, so why bother taking them? Your faith is YOURS, not THEIRS too. You cannot force them to believe in something they don't want to.

Reply 11

bluewoodchairs

Just refuse to go. My dad had had enough of Presbyterianism by the time he was 13 and didn't get baptised or whatever. He also didn't attend church that often after that either, and my grandmother was completely fine with that. Your mum should respect your beliefs.

Reply 12

GoldGhost

Original post by MarieJanes

Are you really a believer if you are being forced to believe? Surely that is against what Christians preach which is to not lie, especially about faith. That would be biggest lie of all to lie about her faith (or lack of). Surely it would be better to truthful to her mum rather than lie?

Your son was not born believing in God, you imposed your beliefs on him, those beliefs were not his own to begin with. There is no such things as a Christian child only a child of Christian parents.

She has her own brain, her own freewill to decide what she does and does not believe in.

Reply 13

ChaoticButterfly

Original post by Budashra

No you don't. If you are 18 or under and still at school your parents have a responsibility to make sure you are well clothed, fed and have a roof over your head regardless. That is your right. These can not be threatened to be taken away.

Reply 14

just a dad

Original post by MarieJanes

Harsh. I'm an agnostic ex-RC dad, but despite both my children going to faith schools I encourage them to question and form their own views about their faith.

In some ways its age dependent, but I would respect my childrens' views in this matter.

Reply 15

MarieJanes

Original post by GoldGhost

Of course she should be truthful it would give her mom the opportunity to talk to her. I'm not sure where you're going with what you've written as it reflects upon nothing I have written...

Your son was not born believing in God, you imposed your beliefs on him, those beliefs were not his own to begin with. There is no such things as a Christian child only a child of Christian parents.

Not true. We are all children of God whether or not we want to believe in God or not. I don't want to believe in the monstrosities caused by war but that doesn't mean that they don't exist.

She has her own brain, her own freewill to decide what she does and does not believe in.

Of course! Again, no idea where you're going with this. Everything to do with any faith concerns freewill...

Reply 16

SmashingChap

Spend the day loudly talking to nobody, when she asks who you are talking too say my invisible friend, when she says thats weird say YES SO IS BELIEVING IN GOD.

This will rock the foundations of her religious beliefs and she will free you from the misery of organised religion.

Reply 17

GoldGhost

Original post by MarieJanes

Of course she should be truthful it would give her mom the opportunity to talk to her. I'm not sure where you're going with what you've written as it reflects upon nothing I have written...

Not true. We are all children of God whether or not we want to believe in God or not. I don't want to believe in the monstrosities caused by war but that doesn't mean that they don't exist.

Of course! Again, no idea where you're going with this. Everything to do with any faith concerns freewill...

You cannot compare the idea of war and the concept of the Christian God together. War... we see it, we experience it.... there is empirical evidence for it. However, with the Christian God you have to have faith, it is NOT based on evidence but mainly faith. It is very easy to deny the existence of the Christian God because of the lack of evidence that there is.

Reply 18

MarieJanes

Original post by Paralove

"gain nothing from it but wasted time" - just shows up that you talk about something that you know nothing of, honey be careful.
As a parent it is your responsibility to bring your child up in a way that you believe is right. And no, you cannot force a child into doing anything they want to do. Unfortunately in my experience this includes getting them to clean their teeth without screaming... sigh...