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what does virginity mean to you?

i was having a convo with my friend about this, and found her view about virginity quite interesting. the obvious definition of virginity is if youve had sexual intercourse but my definition is more than that. this applies to those who`re keeping their virginity till marriage and or waiting for the right person. my definiton of virginity is innocence and cleanliness from bad things related to sex such as oral, dirty talk, openly flirting etc. it might sound stupid at first but if youre keeping your virginity for your partner then what would it matter if youve given blowjobs to the whole block and openly mess around with everyone?

if youve been physically involved with more than a few. if youre openly flirting with everyone, then whenever you get with somoene its not as special- same old thing again -its just another relationship.

overall in my opinion, if youre keeping your virginity for your one and only, it should be more than just not having sexual intercourse. you should be clean or actions and words. im not saying a girlfriend/boyfriend is bad, im saying getting involved or talking to too many people 'in that way' isnt going towards the right path. there are some dirty people who do and say dirty things yet say theyre a virgin and keeping it for the future husband or wife. i think to myself -whats the point?? how much is your virginity really worth? how innocent are you and what favours are you doing for yourself and your future soulmate?? your future partner will be happy to know youre a virgin if thats what theyre looking for, but would they be happy to know all the names of people youve been dirty with? is that really innocence?

does anyone agree with me and what are your views? please dont disrespect peoples views, ive seen it happen on this forum one too many times and its just so rude :smile:

Reply 1

Harv616

9

Its annoying that i still have it, it just shows how useless i am with women

Reply 2

Chumbaniya

17

To me it means nothing more than that someone hasn't had sex before. And I echo the sentiments of BhArJ in that it's annoying I still have mine.

I don't go in for any of this "the one" rubbish, and saving yourself for that single special person. Hollywood really is getting to some people. I wish people would be a little less naive about anything related to sex and relationships.

Reply 3

mattyboi2k8

1

does anyone agree with me and what are your views? please dont disrespect peoples views, ive seen it happen on this forum one too many times and its just so rude

Think your views are a bit extreme personally, I'm not sure if you will meet many people ike that!
But to me virginity is an important thing, and am lucky enough to still be one, as is my girlfriend and we want to share it with each other very soon! So it should be good.
To me sex is the ultimate of expressing your love for someone.

Reply 4

lala_land

What do you mean by "clean"? Is flirting considered dirty now?

In my opinion I think you should lose it whenever your ready for it- for some people this can mean being in love, for others it just means when their mature enough for it.

Reply 5

That artistic one

1

HappyDemon

i was having a convo with my friend about this, and found her view about virginity quite interesting. the obvious definition of virginity is if youve had sexual intercourse but my definition is more than that. this applies to those who`re keeping their virginity till marriage and or waiting for the right person. my definiton of virginity is innocence and cleanliness from bad things related to sex such as oral, dirty talk, openly flirting etc. it might sound stupid at first but if youre keeping your virginity for your partner then what would it matter if youve given blowjobs to the whole block and openly mess around with everyone?

if youve been physically involved with more than a few. if youre openly flirting with everyone, then whenever you get with somoene its not as special- same old thing again -its just another relationship.

overall in my opinion, if youre keeping your virginity for your one and only, it should be more than just not having sexual intercourse. you should be clean or actions and words. im not saying a girlfriend/boyfriend is bad, im saying getting involved or talking to too many people 'in that way' isnt going towards the right path. there are some dirty people who do and say dirty things yet say theyre a virgin and keeping it for the future husband or wife. i think to myself -whats the point?? how much is your virginity really worth? how innocent are you and what favours are you doing for yourself and your future soulmate?? your future partner will be happy to know youre a virgin if thats what theyre looking for, but would they be happy to know all the names of people youve been dirty with? is that really innocence?

does anyone agree with me and what are your views? please dont disrespect peoples views, ive seen it happen on this forum one too many times and its just so rude :smile:

well, i am a virgin and have not been "dirty" as you put it. I dont really consider flirting to be dirty either. if they've been dirty i dont think it is innocence as you say, but also one cant really relate innocence with virginity, as this is not always the case.

in my opinion, i think it should be love and the right person before you have sex. i believe that it will be much more special as you will understand not only the physical sides, but feel the emotional side to sex too.

Reply 6

aleathiel

16

to me it means sex but I know everyone has their own ideas of what it means. I also know some people define it as sex between a man and a woman so if I were to never sleep with men but sleep with women, I guess they would class me as a virgin (which I still am at the mo) :smile:

but the way I see it the first time I sleep with a woman I will no longer be a virgin.. Hmm does that make sense to anyone?

Reply 7

sarahb

i slightly agree... im a christian, so obviously im keeping myself for marriage. however, i dont necessarily agree with some of your reasons and terms you use. i dont think that anything sex-related action is 'dirty' in any way what so ever. i actualy believe that in the right situation, with the right person, sex can be the puriest thing ever! sex is to show love, to show union, to show a promise that you want to share everything with that one special person. i see what your saying abut doing other sexual acts being down the same path as sex, but i think the way in which you kept calling it dirty gave off a differnt impresion to what i think ... i dont think that its that its 'dirty' or that its the partner that should care about it... it should be yourself. i was once told an analogy of what sexual acts are like... you are like a present to your partner on your wedding night, however every time you do a sexual act with another guy, a bit of the wrapping paper is ripped off, hence the more you do, the more open the 'present' is, and no1 would want to be given an already opened present on their weding night! ... i know some ppl wil completely disagre with that, and fair enuf -were all different, and i respect that. in my views that i hold, i hold them for myself, i dont expect to push them onto everyone else, and i dont expect others to adhere to them.. why should they!
anyway, im rambling big willy style! So i gues wht im sayin is that yes i do kinda agre with you, but for diff reasons! :biggrin:

Reply 8

TrentEnd

2

I dont really associate sex with love though...sure, in a perfect world, you and the one you love would both wait and lose it with each other and it would all be 'perfect' but it doesn't happen like that- well, not for me anyway. But each to their own...and virginity shouldnt be just thrown away, but its not the big deal people make out.

Reply 9

Talya

16

HappyDemon

overall in my opinion, if youre keeping your virginity for your one and only, it should be more than just not having sexual intercourse. you should be clean or actions and words.

I did this.. But it just so happens that I met my one and only when I was 15, I wouldn't have had sex with him if I didn't think we'd be together forever though.

Reply 10

bunthulhu

14

Hmmm in my opinion, I think a 100% virgin is someone who has done nothing sexual with another person :p:

Reply 11

NickNack

1

kacas

...But to me virginity is an important thing, and am lucky enough to still be one, as is my girlfriend and we want to share it with each other very soon! So it should be good.
To me sex is the ultimate of expressing your love for someone.

I agree that virginity is important. However, the op does make a good point in that if i were to do everything possible under the sun with someone except have sex with them, im not sure virginity would really have the same meaning, and when i did actually have sex i doubt it would mean anywhere near as much emotionally.

Personally i wont go much further than kissing someone if i dont feel like im really in love with them. I know im unlikely to meet someone with the same values, but that doesnt mean us few cant have them and be happy having them

Reply 12

poltroon

Virginity has come to be imbued with moral significance because Christianity invented the idea that sex outside of marriage is wrong (so it is wrong to have had sex before marriage, so a girl must be a virgin at the time of marriage). Nowadays, though, there is no reason to consider that the act of having sex for the first time is any more important than kissing for the first time. Of course, the first time is special, but not in a moral sense. By all means worry about who you are going to have sex with for the first time, but do so for the normal reasons that must be taken into account before you have sex, and not because you care about outdated notions of purity or cleanliness.

Reply 13

cheesecakebobby

9

It's a state that doesn't deserve its own term. We don't have a term for the state of never having ridden a bicycle. An action itself might be special but not the absence of that action.

Reply 14

Eccentric Man

8

To me it means i'm yet to succeed

Reply 15

henryt

17

Losing your virginity is when you first consensually have sex, IMO. If, in the unfortunate circumstances, you are raped, I think you still have the right to say that you are a virgin.

Reply 16

TKR

15

the time before my life got interesting

Reply 17

Johnny 5

12

HappyDemon

the obvious definition of virginity is if youve had sexual intercourse

I find your interpretation surprising to say the least.

Reply 18

Sticky

I think that in our society, what matters most is the loss of "sexual innocence". I totally agree with you. Who cares about the technical details about what's been inserted into what. That's totally trivial unless you're a devout christian or muslim.

What I find stupid however and this comes back to what you said, how some people use the technical definition (i.e. no vaginal penetration) to claim their sexual innocence. They're two totally different things! Phrases like "I'm not a slut, I only gave him a blowjob. I would only have been a slut if I had had sex" are totally ridiculous.

I'd say there are just different "versions" of virginity. As someone said before, someone who's performed sexual acts but not sexual intercourse is hardly a100% virgin, in the "sexual innocence" sense but most people still see the loss of virginity as the first time you have sexual intercourse.

I don't agree with the idea of delaying sexual intercourse because "it means more" and it would be less slutty to do other stuff because in terms of "sexual innocence", most acts aren't that different. If someone follows that logic (i.e. delaying sexual intercourse), they're following the crazy evangelistic/muslim/christian ideology.

Reply 19

wave_o_mutilation

1

what IS sexual intercourse?

I was recently drunk with a girl and 'slipped it in', if you know what i mean, and then pulled it out, realising i hadn't a condom. Is that sex? If i hadn't had sex before that incident, would i still be a virgin? I would consider myself one...

what does virginity mean to you?

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