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how are u meant to know when ur OH cheats on u?

i mean how do people find out if not by checking phone messages?

cutting out the 'got caught' scenario nd them confessing to u
(edited 9 years ago)

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- a friend finds out and they tell you
- they confess to it
- finding suspicious items on receipts
and after reading several copies of Take A Break, the one your OH is cheating on you with has called your house and hangs up immediately after being questioned/they get sick of your OH and admit to everything via Facebook
Reply 2
Original post by sliceofcake
- a friend finds out and they tell you
- they confess to it
- finding suspicious items on receipts
and after reading several copies of Take A Break, the one your OH is cheating on you with has called your house and hangs up immediately after being questioned/they get sick of your OH and admit to everything via Facebook

I meant to add cutting out the 'confessing' scenario as well
the third point is a good one :smile:
Reply 3
You don't. You just don't. I base my trust (which has been broken before, and has taken a long time to come back!) on the fact that my partner has given so much out of 'guilt', so much money and effort and time into making sure we healed properly - and he simply isn't the kind of man who would do that just to save 'face', he doesn't sugar coat things. With the state I was in whilst we were healing from his mistake, he could have easily just finished things, those breakdowns were never fun for him. Now, I know that he respects our relationship. So whilst I'll never say 100% that I'm sure he won't cheat on me, I do feel confident that if he did, he wouldn't be able to live with himself after everything we've already been through; he would finish it, maybe under the guise of another reason, or he would admit it .

But you simply can't know, and that's why it's horrible but also at the same time why it's necessary. It's a bit like religion, or Peter Pan's fairies, sometimes; if you don't believe in it, it doesn't exist. So have faith in it and give it a go.

Don't look through your partner's phone messages. On the same vein that you should be creating a relationship in which one A wouldn't want to cheat and B couldn't continue after cheating, you also are trying to form a relationship in which underhand, contradictory things such as reading messages or Facebook conversations just aren't necessary. I went through a big phase of doing that - it was 'rewarding' once, in that this is how I found out about things, so my logic was how can I stop when each time I look I find something? But I just have to put it aside. If you're in the relationship, you're in it - don't disrespect your own decision to be together by doing this paranoid, distrustful things.

If I took the question to be asking for a different thing haha - avoidance, anger issues i.e snaps at simple questions, compensates, gets fearful when you borrow laptop/phone, has a 'regular' thing like visiting a friend you don't know some weekends.
(edited 9 years ago)
Because their sexual organ smells of someone else.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 5

of course u do, otherwise u wouldn't have known that ur OH cheated on u :rolleyes:
Reply 6
Original post by Mebeat
of course u do, otherwise u wouldn't have known that ur OH cheated on u :rolleyes:


You have missed the point, and the fair interpretation of your question I was responding to.
Reply 7
Original post by awe

If I took the question to be asking for a different thing haha - avoidance, anger issues i.e snaps at simple questions, compensates, gets fearful when you borrow laptop/phone, has a 'regular' thing like visiting a friend you don't know some weekends.

these are good points
but surely u can check his messages under disguise of borrowing his phone:confused:
Reply 8
Original post by Mebeat
these are good points
but surely u can check his messages under disguise of borrowing his phone:confused:


Again, missed the point. Of course you can, if you want to be that kind of partner and encourage that kind of relationship.
Reply 9
Original post by awe
Again, missed the point. Of course you can, if you want to be that kind of partner and encourage that kind of relationship.

except they wouldn't know if you did!
in the same way someone wouldn't know if they were cheated on!
Reply 10
Original post by Mebeat
except they wouldn't know if you did!
in the same way someone wouldn't know if they were cheated on!


I really don't want to say it again aha but you've missed the point.
Can I ask how old you are? And is this all because you think your partner is cheating? Why do you think they might be, and why can you not just confront them with your worries?
Nothing gives the game away more than that itchy feeling in your vajayjay
Reply 12
Original post by awe
I really don't want to say it again aha but you've missed the point.
Can I ask how old you are? And is this all because you think your partner is cheating? Why do you think they might be, and why can you not just confront them with your worries?

oh no, i dont think they are, but i cant ever trust anyone 100%fully
it was more just a question because i know from friends how they could cheat on their OHs and never confess to it...and they'd act like nothing happened even if their OHs would talk to them about it... so it made me wonder if there are signs obvious as such
can i ask how did you catch your partner on it?
Original post by awe

Don't look through your partner's phone messages. On the same vein that you should be creating a relationship in which one A wouldn't want to cheat and B couldn't continue after cheating, you also are trying to form a relationship in which underhand, contradictory things such as reading messages or Facebook conversations just aren't necessary. I went through a big phase of doing that - it was 'rewarding' once, in that this is how I found out about things, so my logic was how can I stop when each time I look I find something? But I just have to put it aside. If you're in the relationship, you're in it - don't disrespect your own decision to be together by doing this paranoid, distrustful things.


I can imagine looking through a partner's phone messages would almost make them feel entitled to cheat, if they knew you were doing it. "S/he thinks I'm cheating, anyway, so why the hell shouldn't I?"
Reply 14
is it even OH
what does OH actually stand for? :colondollar:
Original post by Mebeat
is it even OH
what does OH actually stand for? :colondollar:


other half

Posted from TSR Mobile
Unless you're in a specific situation where it's obvious or someone admits it, there's no way to know for certain.

I found out I was being cheated on by commenting on a Facebook status, of all things, that made it obvious I was the person who made the post's girlfriend. He deleted it shortly after, and wouldn't explain why. I also realised he'd made his relationship status private... I then image searched a photo of him online and managed to pull up a dating profile where he claimed to be single... I brought it up with a friend of his, who confirmed everything that was going on.

Spoiler

The point is you're not meant to know. Trust means accepting that they wont, and making yourself vulnerable to that situation.
when h to o
Reply 19
Original post by Aivicore
Unless you're in a specific situation where it's obvious or someone admits it, there's no way to know for certain.

I found out I was being cheated on by commenting on a Facebook status, of all things, that made it obvious I was the person who made the post's girlfriend. He deleted it shortly after, and wouldn't explain why. I also realised he'd made his relationship status private... I then image searched a photo of him online and managed to pull up a dating profile where he claimed to be single... I brought it up with a friend of his, who confirmed everything that was going on.

Spoiler


interestin
but why did u talk to his friend afterwards if u already could see the lying? :O

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