Does mainstream porn really represent the desires of men?
*Trigger warning - discussion of porn and its content*
First of all, I'm a guy. Yes I watch porn, as do the majority of guys my age (21). However, with the new surge of feminism like sites like everyday sexism, which I'll be the first to admit that I wrote off at first with the standard 'Equality has already been achieved here' argument, I've started to really think about the over-sexualisation of women and girls. Porn is such a big part of this. I've been trying to view porn through the eyes of someone alien to our culture and really think about the sort of message it's communicating to its viewers.
So for example, today I logged on to one of the most popular porn sites and was immediately confronted with an advert which was shockingly misogynistic in its nature which had the most 'extreme teen videos', and snapshots of very young looking women in what looked like serious pain. Is this really what men want to see, is this really how advertisers view the desires of men? I never really noticed these kinds of images before, I just went straight to the admittedly quite vanilla stuff, compared to a lot of the stuff on the site. But even this 'vanilla stuff' contains men name-calling, hair-pulling and men using aggression to move girls into certain positions. Without realising, I'd become mildly desensitised to all this - of course I would never dream of name-calling or hair-pulling during sex with a woman in real-life.
Even if as men we say 'no I don't get turned on by women being gagged and having their hair pulled', any woman who logs onto a porn site (and a lot of them do!) are confronted with the message 'this is what men want'. There is already a culture of women being fearful of men, for example not wanting to walk home along at night, being vigilant in clubs against their drink getting spiked, etc - porn is now telling them that as men, 'we want to abuse you and we get turned on by it', which in the vast majority of cases is simply not true.
I've included a poll so please help to prove to women that porn does not accurately represent the desires of all men.
TL;DR: Massive percentage of porn is violent. Men block out these aspects of it. Women see porn and believe porn really does represent the inner desires of men. Help me prove this isn't the case.
First of all, I'm a guy. Yes I watch porn, as do the majority of guys my age (21). However, with the new surge of feminism like sites like everyday sexism, which I'll be the first to admit that I wrote off at first with the standard 'Equality has already been achieved here' argument, I've started to really think about the over-sexualisation of women and girls. Porn is such a big part of this. I've been trying to view porn through the eyes of someone alien to our culture and really think about the sort of message it's communicating to its viewers.
So for example, today I logged on to one of the most popular porn sites and was immediately confronted with an advert which was shockingly misogynistic in its nature which had the most 'extreme teen videos', and snapshots of very young looking women in what looked like serious pain. Is this really what men want to see, is this really how advertisers view the desires of men? I never really noticed these kinds of images before, I just went straight to the admittedly quite vanilla stuff, compared to a lot of the stuff on the site. But even this 'vanilla stuff' contains men name-calling, hair-pulling and men using aggression to move girls into certain positions. Without realising, I'd become mildly desensitised to all this - of course I would never dream of name-calling or hair-pulling during sex with a woman in real-life.
Even if as men we say 'no I don't get turned on by women being gagged and having their hair pulled', any woman who logs onto a porn site (and a lot of them do!) are confronted with the message 'this is what men want'. There is already a culture of women being fearful of men, for example not wanting to walk home along at night, being vigilant in clubs against their drink getting spiked, etc - porn is now telling them that as men, 'we want to abuse you and we get turned on by it', which in the vast majority of cases is simply not true.
I've included a poll so please help to prove to women that porn does not accurately represent the desires of all men.
TL;DR: Massive percentage of porn is violent. Men block out these aspects of it. Women see porn and believe porn really does represent the inner desires of men. Help me prove this isn't the case.
(edited 10 years ago)
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I agrer 100% with what yoy said
Adding the poll didn't seem to work - would still be interesting to hear people's views though..
First off, theres nothing wrong with a bit of hair pulling etc, its all just personal preference. I agree a lot of porn seems aggressive, but as you said you are desensitised so quickly that it just keeps evolving and getting edgier, like everything in life. I think as a genre, porn has developed a lot, and is moving away from that stuff anyway as it becomes more mainstream/interlinked with popular culture, instagram, tumblr etc. The desires of men or women can't be labelled quite so black and white, its different strokes for different folks, excuse the pun.
Original post by Mr Smurf
Does 50 Shades of Grey really represent the desires of women?
Now THIS should be a thread!
How clear do they have to be that its acting for god sake , its literally pure fiction and doesn't in any way present reality, People need to stop getting their knickers in a twist .
I think its quite disgusting too but some men obviously like it , and someone is giving them what they want for some £ so why complain . Everyone involved knew what would happen etc etc
I think its quite disgusting too but some men obviously like it , and someone is giving them what they want for some £ so why complain . Everyone involved knew what would happen etc etc
Original post by Jaegon Targaryen
How clear do they have to be that its acting for god sake , its literally pure fiction and doesn't in any way present reality, People need to stop getting their knickers in a twist .
I think its quite disgusting too but some men obviously like it , and someone is giving them what they want for some £ so why complain . Everyone involved knew what would happen etc etc
I think its quite disgusting too but some men obviously like it , and someone is giving them what they want for some £ so why complain . Everyone involved knew what would happen etc etc
My post was never complaining about how real the actual porn content was, but the message of porn that the majority of men harbour violent desires towards women. So your answer is the exact answer I was looking for! Most men don't want to see that sort of aggression. So why do 80% or so of porn videos contain aggressive acts?!
Original post by Anonymous
My post was never complaining about how real the actual porn content was, but the message of porn that the majority of men harbour violent desires towards women. So your answer is the exact answer I was looking for! Most men don't want to see that sort of aggression. So why do 80% or so of porn videos contain aggressive acts?!
How many men like to see that aggression ? We will never know , generalize all we like .
The thing to always keep in mind is that porn differs massively from real sex in that it's aimed at pleasing a third party- the viewer- not the participants. It's also a fantasy, and like most forms of fantasy, things tend to be a bit extreme, which is why we like fiction about serial killers more than accountants.
I do like some of these things, though. So, it may shock you to hear, do a lot of women.
I do like some of these things, though. So, it may shock you to hear, do a lot of women.
Original post by Anonymous
My post was never complaining about how real the actual porn content was, but the message of porn that the majority of men harbour violent desires towards women. So your answer is the exact answer I was looking for! Most men don't want to see that sort of aggression. So why do 80% or so of porn videos contain aggressive acts?!
I disagree with most everything in your original post.
If anything it represents the natural dom/sub kind of attitude that is very common. I don't think it's at all majorly violent or aggressive. Most women prefer being submissive and men dominating and so it represents that for the larger part.
Original post by Mankytoes
The thing to always keep in mind is that porn differs massively from real sex in that it's aimed at pleasing a third party- the viewer- not the participants. It's also a fantasy, and like most forms of fantasy, things tend to be a bit extreme, which is why we like fiction about serial killers more than accountants.
I do like some of these things, though. So, it may shock you to hear, do a lot of women.
I do like some of these things, though. So, it may shock you to hear, do a lot of women.
This thread was never about the participants, it was about the viewer and what porn producers think viewers want; my argument is that the violent misogynistic material which slaps you in the face as soon as you visit a porn site indicates that producers think men want to see incredibly violent material, which I don't think represents the majority of the desires of men who visit the site.
And the advert which I mentioned looked like it was catering to abusive paedophiles to be honest; very young looking girls in what looked like, even if it was feigned, pain. I find that pretty disturbing.. it's certainly not what I want to watch.
Original post by marinaim
I disagree with most everything in your original post.
If anything it represents the natural dom/sub kind of attitude that is very common. I don't think it's at all majorly violent or aggressive. Most women prefer being submissive and men dominating and so it represents that for the larger part.
If anything it represents the natural dom/sub kind of attitude that is very common. I don't think it's at all majorly violent or aggressive. Most women prefer being submissive and men dominating and so it represents that for the larger part.
I doubt you've ever been on a porn website. The ad which i mentioned is very real, I saw it this morning - it was disturbing and most definitely violent and aggressive.
As I said, around 80% of videos contain acts such as name-calling and hair-pulling on the lighter end of the scale, and gagging and crying on the more extreme end. Yes some people are into domination or submission to some extent, but surely not 80%?? If I called my girlfriend a slut or bitch during sex, she'd dump me straight out..
Original post by matchdayG
Closet feminist, you are mate.
Yeah perhaps.. I'm just doing what I think is morally right. Representing the interests of men and women.. What's wrong with that?
Someone's preferences in the bedroom doesn't equate to their views outside of it.
I'm a girl and I understand porn is acting and showcases different preferences - for example, I enjoy watching a woman being dominant and somewhat aggressive, but can also enjoy watching what you described, such as hair-pulling and male aggression.
I agree with you that I find the teen categories a little uncomfortable, but at the end of the day they are all consenting adults and it's acting so, eh, their preference.
I do not think porn is in any way linked to women being afraid to walk in the dark, etc.
I'm a girl and I understand porn is acting and showcases different preferences - for example, I enjoy watching a woman being dominant and somewhat aggressive, but can also enjoy watching what you described, such as hair-pulling and male aggression.
I agree with you that I find the teen categories a little uncomfortable, but at the end of the day they are all consenting adults and it's acting so, eh, their preference.
I do not think porn is in any way linked to women being afraid to walk in the dark, etc.
It's very easy to argue thatmainstream porn is also, if not more sexist against men. There's very few male actors, that get paid pittances and are sometimes drugged up. Furthermore they get almost no choice who they act with and have much less freedom.
The amount of male objectificationn is extremely high as well; if you don't follow a very specific set of stereotypes (often it's white tall muscular and well endowed) you probably won't get work.
Now is this something that should be dealt with? Generally yes on the basis of equality, assuming we care that much about porns "hidden messages". or you can just take the whole thing with a grain of salt and realise it's all actors playing a fantasy and just enjoy watching it.
The amount of male objectificationn is extremely high as well; if you don't follow a very specific set of stereotypes (often it's white tall muscular and well endowed) you probably won't get work.
Now is this something that should be dealt with? Generally yes on the basis of equality, assuming we care that much about porns "hidden messages". or you can just take the whole thing with a grain of salt and realise it's all actors playing a fantasy and just enjoy watching it.
(edited 10 years ago)
Yeh. I really don't like most professional porn.
Too much noise and fake screaming. Add into that all the hair pulling and etc.
Having said that, I don't believe 99% of men would really get any message from it about violence and etc.
Too much noise and fake screaming. Add into that all the hair pulling and etc.
Having said that, I don't believe 99% of men would really get any message from it about violence and etc.
Lol@OP.
A) Sorry, you went onto "extreme" Teen Videos and you were shocked…? What did exactly did you expect?
B) You should never click on the adverts on a porn site.
A) Sorry, you went onto "extreme" Teen Videos and you were shocked…? What did exactly did you expect?
B) You should never click on the adverts on a porn site.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Mr Smurf
Does Fifty Shades of Grey really represent the desires of women?
Not every woman has read fifty shades of grey but you'd be hard pushed to find a man who hasn't watched porn. And basically watching porn equates to seeing violent misogynistic material, even if that's not what you visited the site to watch. It slaps you in the face as soon as you enter the site, and that's what I don't like. And i don't like the idea of women thinking that men who watch porn ie the vast majority of men, enjoy those images.
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