Girls: Do you like to feel helpless in the bedroom?

It is in that it's more severe but actually when having sex choking does not require much effort, slapping a girls face though is a bit like beating her. I hate the 'intimate and loving' slow and gentle sex (i actually got bored once), i'd much prefer a girl who's loves being kinky.

Er, haha, please show me this majority. I think you've seen hints of this 'impact' in a few places and decide that applies to anyone involved in bdsm. That is insulting to those who are genuine to the kink.
Also, being inspired by something, the thought of something you read/see turning you on and following that through - what's wrong with with that? Most men will try to emulate something from watched porn at some time. Women are given normalised kink erotica and want to try something inspired by that, but they are 'pretending'?
That's different from a book that is putting forward a relationship that is abusive and twists the meaning of a safe, real d/s dynamic, meaning that those who see it as the 'proper' bdsm relationship are at a risk of not understanding the line the book crosses and the ignorance it shows. It tries to place itself within a community it does not understand, and frankly insults.

I'll re-phrase. I meant the majority of girls and young woman that I've personally come into contact with. I'm not trying to say there is anything wrong with it. It just seems the 'new generation' of people that are into all the bdsm stuff seem to believe that it involves everything that they have read in the book, which as you say is nonsense. In my opinion, a lot of women see that book as some kind of step-by-step guide. That's just my personal experience of what I have heard some people say.

50 Shades of Grey does not represent the BDSM community, it is a warped, incorrect example of a d/s relationship that should not be followed. There are so many flaws and signs of the author's ignorance to what she's trying to present. No-one should read it and think 'oh, this is proper bdsm, this is the d/s dynamic that should be achieved'. BDSM existed long, long before those awful books and it will continue long after their influence has faded. Don't make such judgements on what you don't know.

Yes, it's true in a sense. My strong reaction was to your insinuation that partakers in the kink = pretenders. P: It's just a generalisation that isn't required and, as I say, is a bit insulting because most in the bdsm community will never want to be associated with this crap book.
Just the other day a 15 year old user here commented in a spoiler post that she 'likes to be dominated'. That to me was really sad - to be aware of d/s at that age without having been in an unhealthy and damaging relationship means it is 50 Shades' influence spreading and it's hard to imagine that these people who have access to the ideas are fully aware of the complicated dynamic that should exist with proper d/s.

I just hate the books so much haha, I do respond strongly to suggests that they represent this community. They truly don't, they **** all over it, frankly. But at the same time, it is great to just be inspired by the notion of bdsm, and certainly it's a good thing for more people to realise their true kinky desires. It's just a shame they had to realise it alongside something that is potentially dangerous to see as a 'bible' to bdsm.

To be fair, you could argue the way in which BDSM was dealt with was by design.

Grey was into it because he had a difficult relationship with his mother

I can see it appealing to people, (not even gonna say women ) who are into pop-psychology

I don't really know how that's relevant though to the issue discussed (maybe I'm missing your point?). P: It's an extension of the character, sure, but the average joe isn't going to psychoanalyse Grey, they're just perhaps going to try and get off on what is essentially abuse and a poor example of bdsm. There are a million and one struggling or oedipal male characters if someone wants that side of the novel.

I think people just like to believe that they are a character out of 50 shades of grey. It is a bit weird, to be honest.

It is in that it's more severe but actually when having sex choking does not require much effort, slapping a girls face though is a bit like beating her. I hate the 'intimate and loving' slow and gentle sex (i actually got bored once), i'd much prefer a girl who's loves being kinky.

Yes, it's true in a sense. My strong reaction was to your insinuation that partakers in the kink = pretenders. P: It's just a generalisation that isn't required and, as I say, is a bit insulting because most in the bdsm community will never want to be associated with this crap book.
Just the other day a 15 year old user here commented in a spoiler post that she 'likes to be dominated'. That to me was really sad - to be aware of d/s at that age without having been in an unhealthy and damaging relationship means it is 50 Shades' influence spreading and it's hard to imagine that these people who have access to the ideas are fully aware of the complicated dynamic that should exist with proper d/s.

Your example of the 15 year old girl is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about. It's sickening.

I can't pass judgement on the book as I have not and will not read it. But anything that can potentially make 15 year old girls think they know about bdsm or go as far as to say they like it, is never going to be a good thing.

Um, why is it bad that a 15 year old knows what she likes? And why is it necessarily 50 Shades' influence?
I liked being dominated when I was 15 and hadn't read 50 Shades. Obviously it is a natural instinct, and you don't have to have read 50 shades to realise that instinct

I've been sexually submissive since I was about 10

how