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my dad doesn't like me getting out of bed whwn i can't sleep

I read that you shouldn't sit around in bed if you can't sleep so sometimes I get up and go read a book/listen to music/make a snack if I'm hungry. But if my dad catches me doing it he gets annoyed, disappointed, and tells me to go back to bed and try harder to sleep. If I don't go back to bed he says 'don't come moaning to me about feeling tired tomorrow', I feel ashamed and then can't sleep

This struggle to sleep happens at least once a week now and I'm frustrated

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Reply 1
Stand up for yourself! If you have to get up, you have to get up—don't let others control your damn life!
Reply 2
How does he know you're awake? Reading doesn't exactly make much noise...
You need to stand up for yourself. Stop stressing over what he thinks. Is he not asleep?
Don't let others get you down or you'll find it even harder to sleep, seeing as it's usually once and week it doesn't seem like a big problem :smile:
Ignore him. Your sleeping habits have absolutely nothing to do with him.

And you're right. If you can't sleep you shouldn't just stay in bed until you fall asleep. It's just wasting valuable hours.
Original post by Riku
I read that you shouldn't sit around in bed if you can't sleep so sometimes I get up and go read a book/listen to music/make a snack if I'm hungry. But if my dad catches me doing it he gets annoyed, disappointed, and tells me to go back to bed and try harder to sleep. If I don't go back to bed he says 'don't come moaning to me about feeling tired tomorrow', I feel ashamed and then can't sleep

This struggle to sleep happens at least once a week now and I'm frustrated


Are you close with your dad? How old are you? It might not be easy to downright 'stand up' for yourself so maybe he'd be a bit more understanding if you sat him and down and explained to him?
Or could you get your mum or another sibling to talk? I doubt he means anything by it, he just wants you to get rest. He probably thinks you want to stay up late and not realise you can't sleep.
If were you i would have left that house along time ago. I wouldnt be able to hack my dad controling everything i do. You are an adult. Stand up to yourself like other people have said.

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If your profile is correct, you're a 21 year old man. I don't think your sleeping pattern has anything to do with your dad. If he says anything, you ignore it.
Your Dad is being ridiculous - unless of course you make lots of noise and prevent him from sleeping. Be quiet, but do what you want.
Original post by Riku
I read that you shouldn't sit around in bed if you can't sleep so sometimes I get up and go read a book/listen to music/make a snack if I'm hungry. But if my dad catches me doing it he gets annoyed, disappointed, and tells me to go back to bed and try harder to sleep. If I don't go back to bed he says 'don't come moaning to me about feeling tired tomorrow', I feel ashamed and then can't sleep

This struggle to sleep happens at least once a week now and I'm frustrated


You say you stand up for yourself...

And you're wrong, anyway. You shouldn't get up when you can't sleep. All you're doing is making your body more awake, particularly by doing anything that involves being in light or using brain power or EATING A SNACK... you're just making it more likely for you not to be able to sleep later. Your dad is just trying to be caring.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 12
Original post by alow
How does he know you're awake? Reading doesn't exactly make much noise...



Original post by tradingmyheartforyours
You need to stand up for yourself. Stop stressing over what he thinks. Is he not asleep?


He tends to wake up to need the toilet between 12 and 1, which is my average bedtime. The last couple of years it's been closer to 1 than I would have liked, but that's no biggie. The problem comes when I'm still awake at 2 or 3, sometimes 4…and lately then getting woken up by the sunlight at about 7. I don't feel very well rested when I wake up almost ever, and it hits throughout the day.
He seems to assume I've been staying up late on my phone or whatever.

Original post by MidnightDream
Don't let others get you down or you'll find it even harder to sleep, seeing as it's usually once and week it doesn't seem like a big problem :smile:


Hmm when you put it like that, maybe it's not :smile:
It's been worse because of finals and the breakup. I think I'm slightly depressed and worried about them both.
Original post by Riku
I read that you shouldn't sit around in bed if you can't sleep so sometimes I get up and go read a book/listen to music/make a snack if I'm hungry. But if my dad catches me doing it he gets annoyed, disappointed, and tells me to go back to bed and try harder to sleep. If I don't go back to bed he says 'don't come moaning to me about feeling tired tomorrow', I feel ashamed and then can't sleep

This struggle to sleep happens at least once a week now and I'm frustrated


Tell him to take a hike, if you cant sleep you cant sleep.
Reply 14
Original post by RainBow_xo
Are you close with your dad? How old are you? It might not be easy to downright 'stand up' for yourself so maybe he'd be a bit more understanding if you sat him and down and explained to him?
Or could you get your mum or another sibling to talk? I doubt he means anything by it, he just wants you to get rest. He probably thinks you want to stay up late and not realise you can't sleep.


I'm 21 and I live with my dad. He's not going to listen to Mum :P he hates her. Divorce, ****ty equity split etc.
I know he has good intentions, but I wish he'd understand that I might need a distraction to help me sleep.
Reply 15
Original post by toonervoustotalk
If were you i would have left that house along time ago. I wouldnt be able to hack my dad controling everything i do. You are an adult. Stand up to yourself like other people have said.

Posted from TSR Mobile


The alternative is student accommodation. If you've read my threads you really think 21 year old lads are going to sympathise?
He's not controlling (he's less controlling than Mum anyway, she almost binned one of my tops because she didn't like it yesterday when he came in to his house which she isn't supposed to do really but it's my fault for letting her in)…he just might not always understand the ways of the over thinker :tongue:



Original post by NathanW18
If your profile is correct, you're a 21 year old man. I don't think your sleeping pattern has anything to do with your dad. If he says anything, you ignore it.


What's my age again? :tongue:

No, in all seriousness, I seem to have the belief that I'm a 16-year old boy trapped in a 21-year old man's body-with the intellect of a 21-year old but the emotional maturity of a 15 or 16 year old. I haven't grasped the fact I'm free; I'm halfway there with responsibility. I don't know why my emotional growth has been stunted so much this past 4 years :s-smilie:
Reply 16
Original post by Jessaay!
You say you stand up for yourself...

And you're wrong, anyway. You shouldn't get up when you can't sleep. All you're doing is making your body more awake, particularly by doing anything that involves being in light or using brain power or EATING A SNACK... you're just making it more likely for you not to be able to sleep later. Your dad is just trying to be caring.


I don't ever remember saying I stand up for myself. That's in fact one of the major problems :s-smilie: I don't even know what I'm standing up for.
I really try not to eat if I can because it 'wakes up' my digestive system, but sometimes I realise I'm just hungry. It's a last resort. I go through comics, books, light music, progressive relaxation exercises and positive/soothing thinking before that.
Ditto the lights. They only come on if I know I need a distraction; I'd rather they didn't but got to make the best of a bad situation.
What's the alternative if your mind is too active to be comfortable in bed?
Original post by Riku
I don't ever remember saying I stand up for myself. That's in fact one of the major problems :s-smilie: I don't even know what I'm standing up for.
I really try not to eat if I can because it 'wakes up' my digestive system, but sometimes I realise I'm just hungry. It's a last resort. I go through comics, books, light music, progressive relaxation exercises and positive/soothing thinking before that.
Ditto the lights. They only come on if I know I need a distraction; I'd rather they didn't but got to make the best of a bad situation.
What's the alternative if your mind is too active to be comfortable in bed?


ARE YOU JOKING? My god check your old posts! Maybe you don't remember saying that because you literally reject every form of advice people give you saying that it doesn't apply to you for X reason and so you get caught up in a web of lies!


There is no alternative if your mind is too active to be comfortable in bed. The only alternative is to try sleeping techniques, relaxing music or hypno tapes, not to actually get up and start doing things. You're saying the lights only come on if you need a distraction, but you must need a light for reading or getting up and doing exercise or making a snack. You're not even really supposed to turn bright lights on in the bathroom when you've been sleeping, it affects your circadian rhythm.
Reply 18


I'm not sure what you're getting at? :s-smilie:
Anxious attachment to and fear of my parents and authority figures has been one of the recurring themes of my threads since the start if that's what you're trying to point. As has
self-stigma about anxiety,
fears of lacking masculinity and appearing too sensitive
interpersonal relationship problems and social anxiety
food, health and exercise worries and obsessions
sleep problems (tempted to make a thread asking if insomnia's a deal-breaker for most girls seems as though it's killing may gains :tongue:).
Occasionally something more direct comes out like I'm getting worked up about my coursework or an exam. Or worrying about getting a job, that kind of thing
That's a mostly exhaustive list I think. :smile:
Lol, why are people telling him to stand up for himself? His Dad is just showing care for his son... I don't understand why it bothers you to this extent? As long as he's not physically forcing you to sleep at a certain time I see no issue here.

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