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What would you do...

if you found out that your mum/dad is dying?

Sorry if I offend anybody. Just something on my mind..

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Reply 1
removed
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 2
Original post by Stinkum
Ermm...nothing. I don't understand the reason for the question, why would you ask that? Unless there was a way you could prevent them from dying (e.g. placing a bouncy castle at the bottom of a cliff from which they're about to jump off, or giving them a parachute before they jump off a plane to ensure a safe landing), there's nothing that you can do.


My mother is very ill and I'm not really sure how to cope, not very sure how to word the question.

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Reply 3
Original post by donutaud15
My mother is very ill and I'm not really sure how to cope, not very sure how to word the question.

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I'm very sorry to hear that. I didn't realise you were talking about yourself...really sorry.
Reply 4
Original post by Stinkum
I'm very sorry to hear that. I didn't realise you were talking about yourself...really sorry.


It's ok. I didn't want to write the whole story so it's not too personal. I'd really want to read people's opinion without making it personal.

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Reply 6
Original post by Autistic Merit


I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to ask how do you cope with it?

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Original post by donutaud15
I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to ask how do you cope with it?

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Escapism. In fact it's only since her diagnosis that I've started pratting around on TSR again.
Reply 8
(Took the question to be for what would I do 'with them', rather than within myself.)
I think about this quite a bit because I'm somewhat morbid. With my mum, I'd be absolutely stunned. I would spend tons of time with her, I'd treat her all I could. I just couldn't imagine it with her though; she's such an alive person and in the past ten years especially and since her divorce from my father, has really started living 'for herself'. I just don't know what it would do to her, that kind of knowledge, and I really don't know how I would respond around her honestly. We don't say 'I love you' and such - I'm not that kind of person and neither she is, I would find it awkward. We are close but in a very realistic somewhat strange manner. She hates things like Mother's day and is generally quite cynical about unnecessary displays of affection, particularly if commercial. So it would be a strange thing to approach with her.

Different with Robin, my father. We don't get on too well, he's exhausting to be around and I'd just rather... not. So I would suck all that up if he had this kind of news. I would humour all of his irritating, ignorant comments and his sometimes repulsives mannerisms... I'd just put up with it and focus on the good things, because he is a bit of a lonely guy (lives between France and UK, backstory blah) and loves to be in the company of his daughters/most people.

I think it's just about doing what they want, giving them what they need and sacrificing your own needs if need be. I would outright ask them what they wanted from me. I would also voice record many conversations, and start specific conversations about their histories, my childhood, family stories etc. Sorry for your situation, words can't really say how tricky it must be to know what to do.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 9
Original post by Autistic Merit
Escapism. In fact it's only since her diagnosis that I've started pratting around on TSR again.


Does it linger at the back of your head though? I found that I can only escape for brief period of time before it resurface.

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Original post by donutaud15
Does it linger at the back of your head though? I found that I can only escape for brief period of time before it resurface.

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I think it's a lot worse when I try to do work. If I'm just dicking about on TSR or Youtube then I find it easier to take my mind off it.
Original post by awe
(Took the question to be for what would I do 'with them', rather than within myself.)
I think about this quite a bit because I'm somewhat morbid. With my mum, I'd be absolutely stunned. I would spend tons of time with her, I'd treat her all I could. I just couldn't imagine it with her though; she's such an alive person and in the past ten years especially and since her divorce from my father, has really started living 'for herself'. I just don't know what it would do to her, that kind of knowledge, and I really don't know how I would respond around her honestly. We don't say 'I love you' and such - I'm not that kind of person and neither she is, I would find it awkward. We are close but in a very realistic somewhat strange manner. She hates things like Mother's day and is generally quite cynical about unnecessary displays of affection, particularly if commercial. So it would be a strange thing to approach with her.

Different with Robin, my father. We don't get on too well, he's exhausting to be around and I'd just rather... not. So I would suck all that up if he had this kind of news. I would humour all of his irritating, ignorant comments and his sometimes repulsives mannerisms... I'd just put up with it and focus on the good things, because he is a bit of a lonely guy (lives between France and UK, backstory blah) and loves to be in the company of his daughters/most people.

I think it's just about doing what they want, giving them what they need and sacrificing your own needs if need be. I would outright ask them what they wanted from me. I would also voice record many conversations, and start specific conversations about their histories, my childhood, family stories etc. Sorry for your situation, words can't really say how tricky it must be to know what to do.


it's not the easiest but I think I'll be able to cope. Thanks :smile:
Original post by Autistic Merit
I think it's a lot worse when I try to do work. If I'm just dicking about on TSR or Youtube then I find it easier to take my mind off it.


yeah that makes sense :smile:

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I actually thought about this yesterday. I'd be so shocked if it was my mum. I'm really sorry if your going through this :frown:


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Original post by Staceyc1990
I actually thought about this yesterday. I'd be so shocked if it was my mum. I'm really sorry if your going through this :frown:


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Thanks. It wasn't a shock for me as she had been unwell for years but still I'm a bit lost.

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Original post by donutaud15
Thanks. It wasn't a shock for me as she had been unwell for years but still I'm a bit lost.

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I'm so sorry :frown: Just spend as much time with her as possible x


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Sorry to hear that, my prayers are with you.
Original post by Staceyc1990
I'm so sorry :frown: Just spend as much time with her as possible x


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That's partly why it's difficult, I can't spend time with her.

Original post by TheEssence
Sorry to hear that, my prayers are with you.


Thanks :smile:


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When it comes to my Mum I physically can't even think about it without feeling like I'm going into a black hole. Obviously I know it is going to happen one day but right now I'm not at all mentally prepared to think about it. My Dad, our relationship is complicated - I still don't want him to die but I think I'd be able to cope.

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