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getting in shape for breakup revenge v risking finals weight gain

Apologies if this upsets anyone...involves body image issues

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Just forget about her and get on with your life.
Original post by Riku
Apologies if this upsets anyone...involves body image issues


Would TSR suggest that now is not the time to be worrying about my weight?


Yes.

Throw yourself into your work, and try your very best not to think about her, you don't need to "improve" for anyone.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 3
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ilem
17
What's there to avenge? She left you because she couldn't see the relationship progressing due to cultural pressures from her family, not for someone else.

If you want to improve then do it for yourself and not because it would make her regret her decision.
Reply 4
Avatar for Riku
Riku
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Original post by bumblebee342
Yes.

Throw yourself into your work, and try your very best not to think about her, you don't need to "improve" for anyone.


Spoiler






Original post by ilem
What's there to avenge? She left you because she couldn't see the relationship progressing due to cultural pressures from her family, not for someone else.

If you want to improve then do it for yourself and not because it would make her regret her decision.


Bloody hell my lack of trust again…can I PM you? I don't see why she cut contact out of the blue if it was just cultural pressures.

Spoiler

Reply 5
Avatar for C380
C380
I don't think with all your upcoming deadlines and pressure from Uni that focusing on your weight/appearance is the best idea. Wanting to change yourself in order to make your ex feel bad isn't healthy for your self esteem. Let's say you do get "shredded" and you bump into her but nothing changes, you'd blame yourself for it. I think focusing on Uni now is best, if you decide after it all that you want to look good for summer etc then go for it but do it for yourself not to win someone back who makes you feel "not good enough".
Reply 6
Avatar for Riku
Riku
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Original post by C380
I don't think with all your upcoming deadlines and pressure from Uni that focusing on your weight/appearance is the best idea. Wanting to change yourself in order to make your ex feel bad isn't healthy for your self esteem. Let's say you do get "shredded" and you bump into her but nothing changes, you'd blame yourself for it. I think focusing on Uni now is best, if you decide after it all that you want to look good for summer etc then go for it but do it for yourself not to win someone back who makes you feel "not good enough".


Right, ok…consensus seems to be that I'm not going to put on 10 pounds over a month of studying? :tongue:

She never made me feel not good enough; I've been very confused for a while. We had a really long and protracted breakup of about 2 months mixed signals. Now she's cut contact-possibly so we focus on exams, possibly as a cooling-off period before trying friendship, possibly walking away for good.
Reply 7
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Tai Ga
18
Riku....You need to move on.
Reply 8
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455409
17
:sigh:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 9
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C380
Your not guaranteed to gain weight during studying. If you just watch what you snack on then have the not so healthy foods in moderation then you'll be fine. If you tend to overeat on snacks then don't buy multipacks or sharing packs. (That always helps me).

Then why do you feel the need to improve purely for her?
Original post by Riku

I'm really worried that if I bump into her I'm going to have put on loads of weight and end up skinny-fat weak and just generally loser-like whereas she will have all her **** together and then she can go laughing at me behind my back like she probably is :/



It's really not healthy for you to be thinking in this way.
If you wanted to change how you looked for you then fair enough, but don't do it for someone else. You shouldn't worry about how an ex sees you, what she thinks about your appearance is irrelevant. Unfortunately seeing you "shredded" isn't necessarily gonna make her feel any different anyway.

You should be focusing on you and your degree.
(edited 10 years ago)
Definetly brah. Get shredded all the way to 10%, its possible while studying. Just make sure you have a balanced between the two. Also if you aren't over 6ft get some lifts or something, tell me your misc username and I will rep u SRS (15k)
Reply 12
Avatar for Riku
Riku
OP
2
Original post by C380
Your not guaranteed to gain weight during studying. If you just watch what you snack on then have the not so healthy foods in moderation then you'll be fine. If you tend to overeat on snacks then don't buy multipacks or sharing packs. (That always helps me).

Then why do you feel the need to improve purely for her?


Erm I have a few Easter eggs to start off with :redface:
Also I live with my dad and recently he has bought 4 packs of cheese to go with crackers :tongue:
A better way of phrasing this is…how do I not get worried about gaining weight (and therefore not stress myself further by criticising myself for having comfort food to get through every now and then) when there is the possibility that I bump into my ex (who I'm still not over, in that 'I love you but I hate you' phase :/) and may look a relative mess? Considering that people can be shallow and make judgments on how we're coping in life based off just our appearance.

A little of me is hoping to take her back, yep. It shouldn't but I'm struggling to move on. Failing that, even if she doesn't have me back as a partner, I hope she will find me attractive like she used to-many years ago she had a big crush on me, I was working out and smashing my studies then, when she met me I was lonely on campus and depressed/paranoid. I feel like she was hoping that she could bring me back, and disappointed that I didn't change back, I'm still slightly stuck in a rut. I resent being thought of as a giant sexless man-child which is the impression I think she now has of me :/ and if we are going to be friends, I need to contend with the idea she's going to be flirting with lots of other potentially better-looking guys than me.
Hard to explain!
Reply 13
Avatar for Riku
Riku
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2
Original post by wat a wizard
Definetly brah. Get shredded all the way to 10%, its possible while studying. Just make sure you have a balanced between the two. Also if you aren't over 6ft get some lifts or something, tell me your misc username and I will rep u SRS (15k)


ITT Hercules 2k12 brah :tongue:

Jokes, I really think I need to focus on finals first. The difficulty is how, when I am pretty critical of my body.
Reply 14
Avatar for Riku
Riku
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Original post by bumblebee342
It's really not healthy for you to be thinking in this way.
If you wanted to change how you looked for you then fair enough, but don't do it for someone else. You shouldn't worry about how an ex sees you, what she thinks about your appearance is irrelevant. Unfortunately seeing you "shredded" isn't necessarily gonna make her feel any different anyway.

You should be focusing on you and your degree.


It's mostly for myself and eventually, for going out dating again, but it's somewhat psychological too. I'm angry at myself for managing to get a girl from crushing on me in high school and idolising me like no-one ever has, to in love with me last year for who I was…to I-don't-really-want-to-be-your-friend-anymore-you-sad-sack. It's as much to me about my personal life restoration/transformation and resolving issues from years ago.
unless she's just hurting too and friendship was too painful, we did take like 2 months of 'let's be friends even though I think you're amazing and miss you so much' before she just gave up and cut contact out of the blue. Gahh I don't know
Reply 15
Avatar for Jebedee
Jebedee
17
While I would normally say move on with your life. I can honestly say that a break-up is a good motivator to work out in the gym. But try to remember that you're doing it for you and don't do anything loser-ish like posting the new body pics up on facebook where she can clearly see it. Don't focus on her reaction or even look out for it. Just do it.
Reply 16
Avatar for T_x
T_x
10
Original post by Riku
It's mostly for myself and eventually, for going out dating again, but it's somewhat psychological too. I'm angry at myself for managing to get a girl from crushing on me in high school and idolising me like no-one ever has, to in love with me last year for who I was…to I-don't-really-want-to-be-your-friend-anymore-you-sad-sack. It's as much to me about my personal life restoration/transformation and resolving issues from years ago.
unless she's just hurting too and friendship was too painful, we did take like 2 months of 'let's be friends even though I think you're amazing and miss you so much' before she just gave up and cut contact out of the blue. Gahh I don't know


Work hard for exams, get great grades. Then focus on getting the body you want. If you want to get things together, it'll take time, but exams are what count.
Reply 17
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Riku
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Original post by Jebedee
While I would normally say move on with your life. I can honestly say that a break-up is a good motivator to work out in the gym. But try to remember that you're doing it for you and don't do anything loser-ish like posting the new body pics up on facebook where she can clearly see it. Don't focus on her reaction or even look out for it. Just do it.


Isn't it better to do it after finals though, when I have more time and less pressure? For the time being I'm just getting outside. Another way of looking at is of course it's helping me relax. A tricky one.
"breakup revenge = losing weight"? aw jeez :lol:
Reply 19
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Riku
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2
Original post by T_x
Work hard for exams, get great grades. Then focus on getting the body you want. If you want to get things together, it'll take time, but exams are what count.


Ok…is it best to not go to the gym at all then, until after exams? This is what I'm struggling with.

And yeah I know by trying to make her jealous she's still controlling my life isn't she :/

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