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Another heartbreak thread

My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. We were together for 2 years and were planning on moving in with each other in September. Its been a month and I feel like it should be getting easier but its not, if anything I'm struggling more.

We haven't spoken since we broke up. He's sent me one text and that's it. That was in response to a message I sent to him apologising. It took him a week to reply and he ignored the whole apology part. He hasn't replied to the message I sent yesterday. He cried when we broke up even though he ended it, and he said that he didn't want to lose me from his life and begged me to be his friend. Do I assume that that was a lie? He sent me an email the day after we broke up which he signed "always yours" and on facebook his profile picture is still the two of us, even though our relationship status has been deleted.

I seem to think about him every second of every day, and the hardest part is knowing that he probably doesn't feel the same. I know its easier for the person who ended it but I want to know he feels some pain. We were in a long distance relationship, and so are never going to bump into each other or anything like that. We're never going to see each other again, and from the looks of it we're never going to speak again either.

There isn't really a point to this thread. I guess I just feel like my whole life has fallen apart and my family and friends are probably sick of hearing me talk about it. Is it easier to keep someone who is important to you in your life and try and be friends with them, or is it easier to delete them from your life completely? As it seems that those are my only two options.

I miss him so much that I'm in physical pain, and I have symptoms that my doctor have said are caused by stress which fit with a breakup. I feel like I need an "end of relationship" talk with him, but is there any point, would it just upset the both of us.

I've been through breakups before, and I know that eventually you get over it and you meet someone else. I wouldn't have ever been with him if that wasn't true. But the question is how long does it take for it to stop hurting. And what's the easiest way for that to happen.

I don't really know what to do.
I can totally sympathise with you're feeling. I was dating my ex for two and a half years when she turned round and sad she didn't love me anymore and wasnt attracted to me anymore. This was in January and I'm still crying most nights over her, cutting myself, and just other depressive behaviour. I've deleted her on all social networking sites, just so she's not in my face all the time online. It means you get space and you don't have little things setting you off. By the sounds of it, you're better just leaving it as it is, and if he wants to have an 'end of relationship' talk or anything, let him be the one to start it. In terms of physical pain, the stuff that isn't sel-inflicted, I know what you mean. I'm quite skinny anyway, and I lost 8 lbs between January 10th (When we broke up) and January 26th (My doctors appointment checkup). I'd love to tell you it gets easier, but it really depends on how much you loved the significant other. It's a lot to do with grief, you've just gotta acknowledge when it stops being grief, and starts being a mental health issue.

I hope this has helped you. It really sucks being in this situation, doesn't it :/
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Hey,

First off I send you both massive hugs, I know this is a horrible situation to be in. If either of you ever want to chat, feel free to message me :] I'm more than happy to help you out.

I was with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and we broke up in November. It's now 5 months on from a really nasty breakup and I'm really happy. You think you'll never be happy again, but you will be. You have to be patient with yourself and don't expect yourself to be over them straight away. When you love someone, you devote your time to caring about them, talking to them, spending time with and just thinking about them on a daily basis. I think the hardest thing is getting used to not having someone there 24/7.

The best thing I ever did was cut all contact. I made a couple of mistakes in that I tried to talk to my ex a few times, but never about getting back together. I wasted my time because he was absolutely horrible to me and just didn't want to know. They are really cold and unfriendly towards you. Delete his number off your phone, OP, so that you're not tempted to call or text. My guess is he doesn't know what he wants at the moment, and he needs to figure himself out. It might seem childish but unfriending on facebook is the best move, that way you're not inundated with his status updates and pictures etc. Obviously the same applies to twitter and instagram. Just get rid. It's for your sake.

Try not to read into the things that he does. The more you obsess, the harder it is to move on. Can I just say - you do get to a point where you think 'I deserve better than this, he's not worth it' and you'll wake up one day and find it's started to feel a bit easier. Or you'll notice you haven't thought about him for a while. You've got to help yourself here though and I firmly believe that no contact is the way to go.

Get yourself out there, go and meet new people and see your friends, go and experience the world. There are millions of people out there. Some amazing ones will find their way into your life. Throw yourself into work/college/whatever and almost try to distract yourself from him. He will be doing the same, but quite a lot of the time guys don't realise what they had til it's too late.

Also, can I just say, no guy or girl is worth hurting yourself over. It's their loss, not yours, and it's not your fault that things have turned out this way. Sometimes people can change very suddenly without warning and it hurts, but remember how strong you are. You've just got to show them and start believing in yourselves.

I know you can do this!

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