He's a relatively shy guy toward me but sarcastic and loud around others. He walks me to the library after lectures, offers to help me out a lot, works as close as possible to me in lab sessions, stares at me when he thinks I'm not looking, sits next to me in lectures, tries to make me laugh all the time, asks to be my partner in labs, steals my pens for attention, waits for me after lectures, smiles at me a lot, gives me a certain 'loving/admiring' look, makes comments to others about me, laughs at my jokes, helps me carry heavy textbooks, asks me how I am...
And I've only just realised that he likes me. Okay, I was a bit put off by the staring/smiling but always put it down to him trying to make me laugh/ feel awkward. I've always dumbed it all down in my head as I have a confidence issue *nobody can find me attractive* kind of thing. I've never attributed his behaviour to actual feelings for me until a guy friend of mine knowingly said he has always liked me and called me "cold blooded" for stringing him along.
He's always been more of a friend in my eyes, so I never really considered any of this to be beyond platonic. Now that there are guy friends telling me this, I feel horrible. My friends used to ask why he was always around and I told them he was a friend. Despite guy friends laughing and telling me his advances were very, very obvious, I can't imagine him liking me. It's all making sense now, all of his behaviours. I don't know where to really go from here as I feel like a horrible person and very awkward now.