I don't find my GF sexually attractive - what should I do?

I know people will go on about "being shallow and it's about the inner bit of her that counts" etc etc - yeah, I totally respect that, but...

I love my GF to bits and wouldn't break up with her just coz of this! But I don't think I find her sexually attractive. She is "fit" as hell, but I have always been into curvy women!

I have started to lose erection halfway through sex, and at first I thought it could be an Porn-induced Erectile Dysfunction (diff story!)...but lately when we're having sex, I've actually been imagining having sex with a curvy girl (someone I know!) and that has helped me maintain that erection! This is really bad I know, but I couldn't help it!

Could someone please advice me on what I should do! Its something I can't help it. But I love her to bits! I'm so drowned in this :/

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Reply 1

Holby_fanatic

Do you ever reach climax? Also, why has this only started recently?

Reply 2

Swanbow

Put extra butter in her supper and watch the pounds fly.

Reply 3

Stewie2011

Original post by Anonymous

If you're a chubby chaser then might as well get with a chubby girl, there are plenty chubby girls out there desperate enough as most guys overlook them. Then the fit girl can be with a guy who wants a fit girl - makes sense, everyone's happy. My advice would be to look around for a chubby girl to get with then break up with you're girlfriend and remain friends.

Reply 4

User995789

You watch porn and accustomed your dick to your hand action, now you're complaining like a pathetic kid that it doesn't work and want to break up.

This is the reality for all you masturbating fools.

Quit porn and practice on your gf, it will get better as long as you stop porn.

Reply 5

Sunny_Smiles

Original post by Blueray2

I think he's saying he doesn't actually find his girlfriend attractive enough to achieve an erection opposed to having proper erectile dysfunction :lol:

Reply 6

User995789

Original post by Sunny_Smiles

I think he's saying he doesn't actually find his girlfriend attractive enough to achieve an erection opposed to having proper erectile dysfunction :lol:

Course he would say that, he isn't going to admit it and he thinks people are naive to believe him, how can you not get erect if someone "fit" is offering you pussy. Obviously erectile dysfunction.

Reply 7

Sunny_Smiles

Original post by Blueray2

Course he would say that, he isn't going to admit it and he thinks people are naive to believe him, how can you not get erect if someone "fit" is offering you pussy. Obviously erectile dysfunction.

he said he keeps his erection by imagining another "curvier" woman so I'd say probably not :lol:

Viagra

Choose eggs. We're curvy and round in all the right places.

Reply 10

awe

Wow, some terrible advice above...

OP - I think this is a real problem and there is no 'solution', let's be honest. It's not shallow if it's what you're truly feeling. I think it would be a lie to continue the relationship, if you're sure that you will not be truly attracted to her again then what real future does it have?
However understandably that's not what you want to do, but in that case all you can really try is - encouraging new things in bed that will perhaps make it more interesting for you, keep fantasising if it helps there is nothing wrong with that (imo!), and also consider letting her know casually that you wouldn't mind if she put some weight on. That sounds difficult, but there's nothing wrong with simply suggesting it in passing, for example when she mentions something related to weight you could just add it there. Obviously don't put any pressure on her, but she may think that you prefer her as slim as she is and wouldn't imagine you would want 'more'; you can get rid of that hang-up.
Oh, and... that 'porn issue' you aren't mentioning probably has a huge role in all this that you're underplaying. o.o You're anon, care to share ? Chilling out on the porn side could well help things, you'll stop imagining and desiring just what you've been seeing and start appreciating what is in front of you.

But, honestly, I think I personally would be reluctant to continue with the relationship if I were you. Having satisfying sex is very important in most relationships, and not finding your partner sexually attractive is quite a big thing to put aside. I would consider how important it really is to you.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 11

Staceyc1990

Original post by EggsterminateMe

Choose eggs. We're curvy and round in all the right places.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Reply 12

Michael_98

Original post by Anonymous

What you have my friend is erectile dysfunction you need to find a way to find your gf's bod attractive see your doctor or a therapist

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

Orthonym

Original post by awe

also consider letting her know casually that you wouldn't mind if she put some weight on. That sounds difficult, but there's nothing wrong with simply suggesting it in passing, for example when she mentions something related to weight you could just add it there. Obviously don't put any pressure on her, but she may think that you prefer her as slim as she is and wouldn't imagine you would want 'more'; you can get rid of that hang-up.

Easier said than done. I'm 21yrs, 5'7", 30A/B, and wear size 6-8 clothing. I'm currently lying in bed stuffing my face with chocolate. If I chatted about weight and someone said to me 'it would be ok if you gained a few pounds though' I would be like, I sure as hell know that but it's not happening! I'd also take it as an insult if my boyfriend implied that he wanted me to gain weight. Our relationship isn't like that. He'd be more objectively attractive if his nose shrank, everyone could be 'more attractive' if they did this or that.

If it's that much a problem to you OP, in her place I would rather be dumped because I want an equal relationship where the couple can please each other.

Reply 14

awe

Original post by Orthonym

Oh yeah - absolutely. It's a good point to make (also very jealous of your current state).

But I don't think it's bad to suggest to a partner that you 'wouldn't mind'. My boyfriend and I are both aware that the other 'wouldn't mind' if we lost a few pounds. That's fine. Because of how it's acknowledged and said, it isn't pressure and it's not a necessity, but the knowledge is there that if we were to decide to do so, we would have support - and it wouldn't turn into 'I don't like this new you' after any change. I'm sure most women would be worried about putting on weight though, and maybe OP's partner is the same and isn't aware that actually, that wouldn't be so bad to him at all. It's not really the same as the nose for the majority of people, but certainly there are those who, like you, can't really do much to change their figure.

Reply 15

TheBigGeek

Original post by Anonymous

It's tough when desire diminishes in a relationship. Think about what first attracted you to your girlfriend - what's changed? Is it really about her body? Is there something emotional going on that's changed how you feel?

If it really is that you're no longer attracted to her, but continuing to have sex is important/necessary for you (which I assume it is) then you might want to try taking a break. If you really love her but genuinely don't think you can get past this - what else is there?

Reply 16

Orthonym

Original post by awe

Yeah I agree, there are definitely women who look great but think they are on the large side of OK. I'm thinking how skinny must this girl be if the OP has a serious problem with her lack of curves! And it's normally the skinniest ones that can't change their figure (until we hit 30 apparently).

I think the OP should go to the doctor's anyway, because if you love someone this kind of thing doesn't happen. Even if they're not the kind of attractive that you prefer, if they're good looking and you have feelings for them and they want to pleasure you with the intimate parts of their body that should be enough to keep you up I thought. In fact, if you have feelings for them and they are showing signs of arousal, I thought that would be enough to keep a guy up if they are already up. I dunno! So either go to the doctors, or you are so stressed out by your opinion of her body that it makes you go limp, or you're a troll and you can go home.

Reply 17

NathanDYEL

Step 1: Aquire 'curvy' girl.
Step 2: Leave current GF.
Step 3: (Optional) Buy a caravan.

Problem solved.

Experience.

Reply 18

username402722

Hope your girlfriend dumps you as she deserves better.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

Original post by barnetlad

Hope your girlfriend dumps you as she deserves better.

well done! how the hell am I bad here?! I'm not cheating on her and asking questions here, just to see if I can make things work with her! And you're telling me she deserves better?! Wtf!