The Student Room Group

Should I tell her?

Ok, so there's this guy I'm really friendly with and deep down kinda like. I got a phonecall from him one night last week that ended up lasting over 2 hours. He had begged me to come see him the next morning because he "wanted to see me" needed company and needed nursed (having had a drink too many among other things).

Now, this guy has a girlfriend, but I went anyway, as a friend. I know where the boundaries are and all that. But he started to kiss me and it snowballed from there. You know what I mean. We were out with his friends for ages, was holding my hand and kissing me and stuff in front of them. Basically acting like I was the girlfriend.

After we got back in, more things happened. Then he started to tell me about how much he loves her but he also really likes me. He regrets cheating on his girlfriend but doesn't regret doing things with me (?????). He kept kissing me up until the train came because he knew he couldn't again. Promised me he would continue to speak to me and that he wanted to see me again but it couldn't involve any of that stuff.

I've not been spoken to in a couple of days, I'm supposed to go back to see him soon. I know I probably shouldn't because things will undoubtedly happen. A photo of them came up on my timeline, so he was removed from a social media site. How can he run back to her, profess his love when days earlier he'd hoisted another girl on top of him and acted like she was his girlfriend in front of everyone the whole day? Knew she liked him and said he liked her too. I asked him why he did it, he claimed he didn't think he had a girlfriend when he did, but it happened more than once in different timeslots. Knew exactly what he was doing.

Sorry for boring you all senseless, but should I tell her? She does deserve to know if he's claiming to love her. I know I'll get (deserving) abuse, but it's not fair on her. Or should I slink away and pretend nothing happened?

Ps sorry for boring you again and please don't give me a lecture I know what I've done is wrong

help :frown:

Scroll to see replies

To be honest, I would just ignore him. Clearly he has issues, and by the sounds of things, you could do a lot better. Don't get any more involved in what will inevitably become an emotional ****-pie.
I wouldn't get involved and just stay away from him.
Oh dear. Hope that you're okay, he seems like a tool. You should just stay away from him and not talk to him, don't get involved with the girlfriend or you will take all the blame. Boys are stupid.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 4
Avatar for Jambooo
Jambooo
The best thing to do would be to stay away in my opinion.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 5
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Wow everyone's being much nicer than I expected, thank you! Yeah I think I'll just lay low for a while and keep out of it. Do you think it would come out eventually though?
Tell him to tell her and then tell him you don't want to see him again because you don't deserve to be treated like a side chick
Reply 7
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by vickyhunt
Tell him to tell her and then tell him you don't want to see him again because you don't deserve to be treated like a side chick


I like this but I don't really think that he would do it.... :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
I like this but I don't really think that he would do it.... :frown:


He doesn't have to do it, it'll be his decision but at least you've told him what you think and you're not exactly feeling good about the whole situation and you're at least thinking of his girlfriend too :smile:
Reply 9
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by vickyhunt
He doesn't have to do it, it'll be his decision but at least you've told him what you think and you're not exactly feeling good about the whole situation and you're at least thinking of his girlfriend too :smile:


I'll deffos try it and see what he says. If I did tell her, I don't have much evidence apart from the call logs showing I was on the phone for 2 hours, not very many texts and a train ticket. His friends know but wouldn't say anything. He could deny it, she could brand me as some crazy psycho then am in for it.
Original post by Anonymous
I'll deffos try it and see what he says. If I did tell her, I don't have much evidence apart from the call logs showing I was on the phone for 2 hours, not very many texts and a train ticket. His friends know but wouldn't say anything. He could deny it, she could brand me as some crazy psycho then am in for it.


Yeah she wont want to believe you, not sure it's worth the drama for you tbh. Tell him how you feel that's really all you can do
Original post by vickyhunt
Tell him to tell her and then tell him you don't want to see him again because you don't deserve to be treated like a side chick


I have never understood this. Who decides who 'deserves' to be treated in a certain manner?
I would totally stay away from him, just put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes... How would you feel if your boyfriend did that to you? Guys like him is a reason why I am genuinely afraid of dating because this happened to me too last year and honestly, worst thing to go through. But I wish I'd known sooner about it because those times we were together when he was doing all that, he made me so attached to him with his act that I was so broken when I found out that I forgave him and told him its okay... Yep, crazy I know. "First love" ey? XD I would tell her about it because it's unfair how he's playing with her like this, AND YOU.

With that said, if you knew that he has a girlfriend... You shouldnt have really gone along with it?

Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Abdul-Karim
I have never understood this. Who decides who 'deserves' to be treated in a certain manner?


Figure of speech I guess, no one 'deserves' to be treated that way
Reply 14
Avatar for ilem
ilem
17
You should stop seeing him unless you're happy with being the girl on the side.
Original post by littlesocksx
Oh dear. Hope that you're okay, he seems like a tool. You should just stay away from him and not talk to him, don't get involved with the girlfriend or you will take all the blame. Boys are stupid.


Posted from TSR Mobile


Yeah, judge us all by this imbecile.
Not sure if OP is male or female...
Original post by pandabun
I would totally stay away from him, just put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes... How would you feel if your boyfriend did that to you? Guys like him is a reason why I am genuinely afraid of dating because this happened to me too last year and honestly, worst thing to go through. But I wish I'd known sooner about it because those times we were together when he was doing all that, he made me so attached to him with his act that I was so broken when I found out that I forgave him and told him its okay... Yep, crazy I know. "First love" ey? XD I would tell her about it because it's unfair how he's playing with her like this, AND YOU.

With that said, if you knew that he has a girlfriend... You shouldnt have really gone along with it?

Posted from TSR Mobile


I know I know (about the last bit). I did like him and I thought it would become so awkward if I stopped it. These are all just excuses I know it's terrible.
Original post by Anonymous
I know I know (about the last bit). I did like him and I thought it would become so awkward if I stopped it. These are all just excuses I know it's terrible.


It's easy to say what you should have done now but when it's in the moment it's different. I've been in a situation where I knew the ending wouldn't be good but I carried on regardless and it didn't end well and I regretted it. You don't think of what's gonna happen next right then!


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by chukster97
Not sure if OP is male or female...


Female

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you