Funniest/weirdest experiences living in halls?

Personal favorite would have to be after a big night out a couple of friends came back to ours, us forgetting we had a flat inspection at 11am the next day. The inspectors walking in to find 7 people sprawled across the sofa/floor in the lounge and the sheer shock on both their and the inspectors face when they walked in and turned the light on. Needless to say we failed the inspection.

There's a student on our floor who always has her boyfriend round. We don't know anything about them, apart from that they have really goosebump-inducing arguments about once a month. Every time we call the porters over to intervene, because it is really, really scary. And yet it continues to happen. Erk.

The same thing in first year, a Chinese student with a live-in boyfriend. Never said a proper sentence to us, but at 3am they would have huge full-on screaming fights, running up and down the corridor, shouting wildly. She would lock him out of her room and he would bang on it for ages until she let him in. Apparently they had viciously loud sex too, but thankfully I was opposite and not next door, as my friend was.

Oh god :/ That sounds horrible, having to live with all that noise, especially at 3am! Didn't anyone ever tell them to shut up?

As a potential fresher at the start of September '14, I read all about accommodation do's and don'ts of my firm and insurance choice and it kind of got me scared but excited about the prospect of having to live with new people, especially as a (relatively) socially awkward person. So I thought I'd make a thread as a place where memorable experiences of living in halls can ermm... come together. Also, I could do with a laugh as a break from all this revision
Apologies if there is another thread like this that I've missed

People sliding down the block stairs on mattresses.

All the time! You'll learn fairly soon that most people, particularly when there's a language barrier as well, just choose to conveniently 'forget' that you asked them to shut up just five minutes ago. And in the case of the Indian guys in my flat this year that enjoy a 4am party in exam season, sometimes they just don't listen at all and just laugh in your face instead. :|

In second year I also lived with 'strangers' off-campus, when we met to see if we were compatible I thought it would be great. It wasn't. The couple had terrible arguments as well, some really horrible things would be said to each other. I just couldn't imagine even saying half of that to my partner. And the girl would leave her dirty laundry in the bathroom for days after removing it there for a shower, knickers 'facing up' and all. And one of the guys would get really drunk and piss all over the toilet seat and leave it there.

Speaking of toilets (this is great dissertation procrastination) - one evening I went to the bathroom and there was **** on the seat. It was fairly common to find skids in there, but this was on the actual seat. I sent a message out to the two guys saying 'don't know whose that is but clean it up now! (please)' and they both replied saying they had no idea who had made the mess. Two minutes later someone came up the stairs to the bathroom, which was on second floor along with my room, and then went back down again. They had cleaned it, and because one lived on first floor and one on third, I knew exactly who it was. Ughhghg. That was a terrible year haha.

I got stuck in a small lift with 5 other people for 3 hours on the first night. Was at 1am so we had to wait for the engineer to come. Was very drunk, and the reason I got in the lift was because I was dying for a pee (room was on 10th floor) so wasnt fun! And the only drink on offer was white wine. Was pretty close to peeing into the wine glass near the end, but I have peed into a plastic bottle before and was suprised how much came out, almost filled a 500ml bottle. So I didnt fancy peeing into a 200ml wine glass infront of 5 people I barely knew. When we got rescued, I climbed out of the lift shaft, and then ran up 10 flights of stairs to my room, and had the longest and greatest pee of my life so far!

I just remembered another one, the same guy who pooped his pants and all that I was talking about, on a different night he came home after a night out and said he had sex with some girl and he said he think the condom split during it and he was really panicking whether he made her pregnant, he was in the hall in the early morning having a go at himself like 'aww no how could this happen' and all this stuff. So some of my flatmates came out of their room and he told them what had happened and they started pissing themselves laughing, i was just lying in bed listening to it all and it was f'in hilarious ahaahhahahha he was genuinely scared and everything.

I got stuck in a small lift with 5 other people for 3 hours on the first night. Was at 1am so we had to wait for the engineer to come. Was very drunk, and the reason I got in the lift was because I was dying for a pee (room was on 10th floor) so wasnt fun! And the only drink on offer was white wine. Was pretty close to peeing into the wine glass near the end, but I have peed into a plastic bottle before and was suprised how much came out, almost filled a 500ml bottle. So I didnt fancy peeing into a 200ml wine glass infront of 5 people I barely knew. When we got rescued, I climbed out of the lift shaft, and then ran up 10 flights of stairs to my room, and had the longest and greatest pee of my life so far!