The Student Room Group

Advice on meeting someone you've met online.

So there's this guy i talk too. Like every day. Every single day for about 4 years now. But i've never met him. We click and everyday it's a really great convo or if it's not i just enjoy his company. We've texted, called, facetimed, skyped everything you name it but actually meet. I've suggested it a couple time and he's asked me to come round to see him at his BUT it's always never gone through partly because he doesn't ask if i'm still coming because he doesn't want to pressure me and i just forget i guess. He's really sweet and he's said i love you a couple of times and i always say it back but i've never said it first? We flirt quite a bit and i honestly feel like i can tell him anything. Thanks to social media i know quite a bit about him (he's not a catfish i know people linked to him) and i know he's quite a good looking guy with a lot of female attention which kind of puts me off seeing him. I'm not sure if he actually likes me although when i constantly refer to him as a friend he does complain but in a jokey way. We're the same age both quite young but legal aged. He doesn't want to come to my area but would rather me come to his house so how would i go about meeting him or setting up a meeting. I know you guys would think ALARM BELLS don't go to his house but i know this guy and he's genuinely lovely i'm just a bit scared of meeting him due to my own insecurities. Do you think meeting him is a good idea? I think the fact that he's reluctant to go out is a bit weird now i'm typing it actually.
If you're gonna do it, then meet in a public place (eg a busy shopping centre) and stay in public places
Just meet up somewhere public, go get coffee/lunch, cinema, walk in park, picnic etc, you'll quickly feel if you trust him or not. I wouldn't go to his house until at least the 2nd time.
Reply 3
He's not too keen on that but i trust him wholeheartedly so i don't think anything would happen
Reply 4
Original post by acciolucy
Just meet up somewhere public, go get coffee/lunch, cinema, walk in park, picnic etc, you'll quickly feel if you trust him or not. I wouldn't go to his house until at least the 2nd time.

Yeah this is probably true. It'd have to be in his area though because i live in a part of London where postcode wars are a silly but prevalent thing. I really don't know his area though
Reply 5
Hey

I've met someone from online before and its really not that scary. I'd highly recommend a public place like a coffee shop. Just mention it to him, say something like "let's meet for coffee at this place" or "would you like to meet for lunch at this place?"

If he's insisting you meet him in his house, then that is a bit strange. I'd be a little wary. I've met someone in a non public place before and it turned out okay for me but I really would not recommend it. Quiz him about why he wants you to come to his house.
I met a guy through tinder, we talked for a few months and I went to meet him at his. Everything was fine, people try and scare you. I know bad things can happen but if you've face timed and Skyped you know it's him! The only thing is.. What if he tries to pressure you into something? That's the only reason if I was you I wouldn't go to his house.


Posted from TSR Mobile
You need to be careful. You say 'he's not too keen' on meeting in a public place and wants YOU to meet him at his house. Surely that sounds a bit odd to you?

You've spoken to him for years so obviously must feel you know and trust him really well and maybe you will meet and it will be a great day. But just try and meet somewhere public and not risk it :redface:
Reply 8
He's not insisting really lool, i think i've made it sound a bit bad. It's just his place of preference, i feel abit awkward suggesting that because then it becomes a bit like a date i guess? i'm still not sure if he see's me in that way. His whole family would be in if i came though which is equally daunting
Take people's advice and don't go to his house the first time, he'll probably get the wrong impression if you agree to it :redface:
Public place etc


(Though I've gone to ppls houses after chatting online, with no issue)
True i think i'll suggest the cinema or something so that way it won't be awkward. Thanks you've made me feel a little less scared about the whole thing !:colondollar:
You mention you both live in/near London - it's a big city, why not pick somewhere other than where either of you live?

I know you think nothing bad would happen if you went to his house OP, but another reason to see him somewhere out and about is that it's neutral territory for you both. You may feel a bit uncomfortable being in his house as all of it - including seeing him in person - would be new and unfamiliar to you, whereas he would get to feel at ease. You may not come across as quite yourself - I'm sure most people would behave differently under those circumstances; not knowing where mugs are if you want tea, not knowing where the bathroom is/where they keep their loo roll etc. It puts you in a position where you're at least somewhat reliant on him and may feel like you're asking permission to find/do stuff.

Better to pick somewhere different but interesting for both of you, where neither of you will automatically have the upper hand.
(edited 9 years ago)
That is a very valid reason, it makes a lot of sense I can see why it'd be a bad idea now. Cinema's definitely top option
Original post by Anonymous
So there's this guy i talk too. Like every day. Every single day for about 4 years now. But i've never met him. We click and everyday it's a really great convo or if it's not i just enjoy his company. We've texted, called, facetimed, skyped everything you name it but actually meet. I've suggested it a couple time and he's asked me to come round to see him at his BUT it's always never gone through partly because he doesn't ask if i'm still coming because he doesn't want to pressure me and i just forget i guess. He's really sweet and he's said i love you a couple of times and i always say it back but i've never said it first? We flirt quite a bit and i honestly feel like i can tell him anything. Thanks to social media i know quite a bit about him (he's not a catfish i know people linked to him) and i know he's quite a good looking guy with a lot of female attention which kind of puts me off seeing him. I'm not sure if he actually likes me although when i constantly refer to him as a friend he does complain but in a jokey way. We're the same age both quite young but legal aged. He doesn't want to come to my area but would rather me come to his house so how would i go about meeting him or setting up a meeting. I know you guys would think ALARM BELLS don't go to his house but i know this guy and he's genuinely lovely i'm just a bit scared of meeting him due to my own insecurities. Do you think meeting him is a good idea? I think the fact that he's reluctant to go out is a bit weird now i'm typing it actually.




HAHA, all these and you 'can't work out if he likes you'. lol You are worst than me at picking up signals.

Sounds safe, go for it!
Meet in the boonies and hope its not Walt Jnr

Quick Reply

Latest