The Student Room Group

girls approaching/ chatting up guys

Girls just curious if you were to approach a guy what wold be your reasons and guys have you been approached?

From my personal experience I've noticed that I been approached more often hanging out with girls than hanging out with guys. Asking my friends why they said I act gentlemanly, good to talk to and I look good. Naturally I'm a shy person but girls approaching me does make me fell confident in myself.

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Reply 1
The only girls who have approached me have been drunk or way back in freshers week (also drunk most likely). I'd expect the same is true for most guys. Guys generally have to do the approaching and make their opportunities (probably why I have been so unsuccessful with girls over my 23 years of existence).

Don't expect many girls on here to approach guys. Most of them think that is the guy's job.
Original post by Bassetts
The only girls who have approached me have been drunk or way back in freshers week (also drunk most likely). I'd expect the same is true for most guys. Guys generally have to do the approaching and make their opportunities (probably why I have been so unsuccessful with girls over my 23 years of existence).

Don't expect many girls on here to approach guys. Most of them think that is the guy's job.


They're also mostly shy and insecure
I don't think I've ever approached a stranger, but I have approached guys I like a couple of times. It did not go well. I don't think that's a reason not to do it though, it happens to everyone.
With me the point is I can never and have never envisioned having a relationship with a complete stranger. I can appreciate a stranger is good looking but I don't see it past that - a good looking person. I wouldn't say I'm attracted to them at that stage because i know nothing about their personality therefore I don't feel the need to ask them out.

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Reply 5
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
With me the point is I can never and have never envisioned having a relationship with a complete stranger. I can appreciate a stranger is good looking but I don't see it past that - a good looking person. I wouldn't say I'm attracted to them at that stage because i know nothing about their personality therefore I don't feel the need to ask them out.

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:yes:



I have approached a guy before, not a stranger but a friend, with 'intention'. It was a bit scary haha. I did so because I had always liked/wanted him and believed he felt the same, but for certain reasons we had never really attempted anything, but I decided at some point to say frick it to those reasons and make a move.

I don't think I would feel comfortable approaching a stranger without much cause for approach to hide behind, i.e asking for a lighter or something and then continuing from there. I have done that before with strangers whom I wouldn't have minded trying something with, but it's not the sole reason for my approach, maybe just a part of it or a little 'hope' haha. I'd say if it were to be so, it's because I'm feeling a little bit reckless and confident and happy, so just 'give it a go' hah. I would say my partner and I got together through me 'approaching' him if you're looking at technicals, but on the whole it was more mutual than anything else..


Original post by Bassetts

Don't expect many girls on here to approach guys. Most of them think that is the guy's job.

Original post by manchesterunited15
They're also mostly shy and insecure


This is not really very true of most of the female posters on the site? At least not in such blunt terms as 'job'.

One minute we're all raging feminazis and the next we're shy, insecure and adhering adamantly to stupid gender roles. :lol: What are we, other than something to generalise and change to suit whatever incorrect point posters feel like making the next time? P:
Reply 6
Original post by Bassetts


Don't expect many girls on here to approach guys. Most of them think that is the guy's job.



Original post by manchesterunited15
They're also mostly shy and insecure


Or maybe most of us simply aren't interested in randoms we dont know.
Far too shy. I'd feel as though he would think I'm desperate because its the guys job to do it.

Mainly the 2nd reason. I really wish it was more normal and accepted for girls to do it, there have been many times when ive really wanted to!!
Original post by awe
:yes:



I have approached a guy before, not a stranger but a friend, with 'intention'. It was a bit scary haha. I did so because I had always liked/wanted him and believed he felt the same, but for certain reasons we had never really attempted anything, but I decided at some point to say frick it to those reasons and make a move.

I don't think I would feel comfortable approaching a stranger without much cause for approach to hide behind, i.e asking for a lighter or something and then continuing from there. I have done that before with strangers whom I wouldn't have minded trying something with, but it's not the sole reason for my approach, maybe just a part of it or a little 'hope' haha. I'd say if it were to be so, it's because I'm feeling a little bit reckless and confident and happy, so just 'give it a go' hah. I would say my partner and I got together through me 'approaching' him if you're looking at technicals, but on the whole it was more mutual than anything else..





This is not really very true of most of the female posters on the site? At least not in such blunt terms as 'job'.

One minute we're all raging feminazis and the next we're shy, insecure and adhering adamantly to stupid gender roles. :lol: What are we, other than something to generalise and change to suit whatever incorrect point posters feel like making the next time? P:


Most of you are shy and insecure, but then there's a few hardcore raging feminazis. These are very vocal so at times it can seem like there's more.

:smile:
Even if girls are confident enough to approach (a fair few are), there's that "easy/desperate" tag that'll just be slapped on them cause well, er, its apparently the man's job to do the chasing.

Last year a cute girl hit on me in a bar. It was the weirdest feeling ever. Not that I haven't got female attention before, just a girl actually made a move on me without knowing me. Never felt like a bigger boss in my life. Most likely never will again :lol:
Reply 10
Original post by manchesterunited15
Most of you are shy and insecure, but then there's a few hardcore raging feminazis. These are very vocal so at times it can seem like there's more.

:smile:


And no in-between eh. Why not just take each poster as they come, rather than put half of the users in these two boxes before even giving them a chance to be an individual? :smile:
Original post by awe
And no in-between eh. Why not just take each poster as they come, rather than put half of the users in these two boxes before even giving them a chance to be an individual? :smile:


You have almost 2000 posts on here and you don't know that TSR's number 1 hobby is generalizing? :K:
Original post by awe
And no in-between eh. Why not just take each poster as they come, rather than put half of the users in these two boxes before even giving them a chance to be an individual? :smile:


I didn't say there's no in between
Original post by Bassetts
The only girls who have approached me have been drunk or way back in freshers week (also drunk most likely). I'd expect the same is true for most guys. Guys generally have to do the approaching and make their opportunities (probably why I have been so unsuccessful with girls over my 23 years of existence).

Don't expect many girls on here to approach guys. Most of them think that is the guy's job.


I hate that expression. Why do people say they have or haven't been able to do something their whole lives? In this instance, you weren't able to **** a girl when you were a baby were you??? So no, you have been so unsuccessful with girls over your past decade (give or take a few years) of existence, okay?
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
With me the point is I can never and have never envisioned having a relationship with a complete stranger. I can appreciate a stranger is good looking but I don't see it past that - a good looking person. I wouldn't say I'm attracted to them at that stage because i know nothing about their personality therefore I don't feel the need to ask them out.

Posted from TSR Mobile


Everyone was once a stranger. Generally speaking, your friend, best friend, girlfriend or boyfriend were all once strangers. I wonder how this hurdle was overcome. :goaway:
(edited 10 years ago)
I've been approached by girls on nights out, usually queing at the bar on my own/not obviously with other people.

If you're blatanty hanging out with a whole bunch of people, other people are less likely to approach you, as it's not YOU they're approaching it's a whole group of people. It's the same as a guy wanting to approach a girl, nearly ALWAYS a group of girls are going to give you dirty looks and basically tell you to get lost if you're with one of their friends.

Never had a girl approach me in a normal day-day situation but I think part of the problem is I flirt a lot with everyone, people I actually like seem desensitised to my flirting and don't really notice I actually like them. I don't really have the balls to tell them that I do, I also have a bad rep when it comes to relationships. fml.
Original post by Mike_ofMars
Everyone were once strangers. Generally speaking, your friend, best friend, girlfriend or boyfriend were all once strangers. I wonder how this hurdle was overcome. :goaway:


Not by randomly meeting on the street, it wasn't.

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Original post by Eva.Gregoria
Not by randomly meeting on the street, it wasn't.

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Surely people go about doing things appropriately, and at times unsuitably. That doesn't change the fact that my statement holds true.
Original post by Mike_ofMars
Surely people go about doing things appropriately, and at times unsuitably. That doesn't change the fact that my statement holds true.


It's not true because I wouldn't make friends with random strangers unless in an appropriate setting I.e. school, club or societies etc. The same applies to guys in relationships.

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Original post by Eva.Gregoria
It's not true because I wouldn't make friends with random strangers unless in an appropriate setting I.e. school, club or societies etc. The same applies to guys in relationships.

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*facepalm* What I'm saying is, the statement, "Everyone was once a stranger" holds true.

Of coarse you'd only make friends if the circumstances were appropriate. That's my point, exactly ^_^.
(edited 10 years ago)

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