I never have an orgasm

I can never have an orgasm no matter what I do, me and my boyfriend have been trying for three years and honestly I have had no luck, it isn't just with him but other people,me enjoy it a lot but never have an orgasm, help..

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Reply 1

Ronove

Original post by Chloesmith9

What do you mean by 'no matter what you do'? Have you tried buying one of those mini vibrators (not a rabbit), or even just a cheap vibrating electric toothbrush if you're shy about buying that kind of stuff? If you're trying and failing to reach orgasm via normal intercourse then trust me, stop bothering and focus on the clitoris (ideally with battery power).

Reply 2

antipathy

Some people are more or less sensitive than others.

Explore on your own, and find what you like (perhaps with the aid of a vibrator as Ronove suggests) - and then teach your boyfriend how to do that. But until you know how you like to be touched, your poor boyfriend doesn't stand much of a chance!

Reply 3

Chloesmith9

Original post by Ronove

Yes I've brought many sex toys before, nothing's worked so I decided to tell my BIYFRIEND to start focusing on my clit in other ways and he's spent hours on it and I enjoy it so much but no orgasm

Reply 4

unprinted

Hooray for enjoying it, even if you can't label it as 'an orgasm'.

What does happen, in terms of feelings?

Reply 5

Chloesmith9

Original post by unprinted

Hooray for enjoying it, even if you can't label it as 'an orgasm'.

What does happen, in terms of feelings?

I kind of just lay there and I'm enjoying it and it feels good but it never goes into a stage of the orgasm which I really want any my boyfriend would love to give me

Original post by antipathy

I love everything he does, much more than what anyone has ever been able to do for me

Reply 6

Ronove

Original post by Chloesmith9

Yes I've brought many sex toys before, nothing's worked so I decided to tell my BIYFRIEND to start focusing on my clit in other ways and he's spent hours on it and I enjoy it so much but no orgasm

Why is boyfriend in capitals?

Have you ever managed to give yourself an orgasm, without the pressure of someone else being around? Have you ever tried?

Reply 7

Chloesmith9

Original post by Ronove

Why is boyfriend in capitals?

Have you ever managed to give yourself an orgasm, without the pressure of someone else being around? Have you ever tried?

My keyboard does this weird automatic thing, yes I've tried for ages but I don't enjoy doing things to myself..

Reply 8

Ronove

Original post by Chloesmith9

My keyboard does this weird automatic thing, yes I've tried for ages but I don't enjoy doing things to myself..

Well, I mean, if you can't get anything to happen with your imagination (or perhaps some kind of erotic material) and a clit vibrator I don't know how you could even hope to achieve orgasm with another person. That might not hold true for everyone though, I guess. Are you on any medication? SSRIs can prevent orgasm (in both women and men), other things likely will too. It should be in the list of side-effects though if you are on anything. Otherwise all I can advise is to make sure you're not stressed, relax, try stuff out, enjoy yourself. You do at least say that you're enjoying yourself regardless. I might run it past a doctor if you really can't reach climax after trying everything, though, they might have an idea of something that could be amiss.

Reply 9

unprinted

Original post by Chloesmith9

I kind of just lay there and I'm enjoying it and it feels good

Leaving aside the pressure to come, does it ever get to the stage where it feels like you want to pee? If so, what do you do then?

Reply 10

Chloesmith9

Original post by unprinted

Leaving aside the pressure to come, does it ever get to the stage where it feels like you want to pee? If so, what do you do then?

Yes and then I normally end up peeing..

Reply 11

unprinted

Ah. The sensations of an impending orgasm can feel a lot like you need to pee to someone who's not had an orgasm.

Pee before the sexual activity - masturbation or partner sex - happens, so you know your bladder is empty, and keep going through this point, holding back any pee just as you normally would. You may well orgasm.

If you still end up wetting the bed, you may have 'squirted' / female ejaculated. It's a clearer liquid than pee, and without the usual pee smell.

Reply 12

go2thezoo

not all girls can have it

Reply 13

keano2014

Girl, you need a Hitachi wand.

Back me up here.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by Chloesmith9

Yes I've brought many sex toys before, nothing's worked so I decided to tell my BIYFRIEND to start focusing on my clit in other ways and he's spent hours on it and I enjoy it so much but no orgasm

You might want to try porn- even if you don't like ..get turned on by it, it could be all mental and this could keep your mind on it (I have this problem too.) Whilst doing so try using both forms of stimulating (clit and vaginal) in a motion with each other and also concentrate on your own muscles, remember to breathe! It wont happen if you don't breathe. By any chance are you worried about actually having one or become to get uncomfortable when you start enjoying it?

Reply 15

Mannz

Original post by keano2014

Girl, you need a Hitachi wand.

Back me up here.

yaaaaas

Reply 16

EmmaBurton

A lot of girls and women don't have orgasms, especially not clitoral ones. Trouble is, society promotes the idea that guys have to concentrate in the clit, whereas many of us get more enjoyment from penetration if done right.

Reply 17

Ronove

Original post by EmmaBurton

I think you have that backwards. Do you have anything to back up your claims? No-one questions the existence of the clitoral orgasm; not so with the vaginal orgasm.

Reply 18

chemistsweb

Original post by EmmaBurton

Lol! Seriously? Do you not know where most of the sensual nerves are? I'll give you a hint: not in the vagina. Why? Let's take it by baby steps - pun intended. Think about childbirth/pregnancy...now I look at actual statistics and talk to women and you will find that 80% can't achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation...don't believe me? Ask how most women masturbate...or heck, even read Dr. Kinsey's work on it if you can't take a woman's word...