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Someone pleasee Help me I'm very confused.

I went out with this boy for 5 months but are relationship for them 5 months was up and down. We usually had arguments. But at the end of the day, I loved him and he loved me. However we broke up over a disagreement and a week later I went out with this boy( but I was nothing).
I still love my 5 months boyfriend, but I don't know how he feels and we don't talk anymore.
So can someone please tell me what to do. Should I move on or keep on trying? :colondollar: 💔👫🙈🙀😫

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(edited 9 years ago)
Hi
It can be really confusing and upsetting when relationships end, no matter what the reason. I guess you need to think about the relationship and what it is you miss? You say that there were ups and downs and that you usually had arguments? I am picking up on this as it is not usual to have arguments frequently in a healthy and respectful relationship so I am a bit concerned about that?

It's hard to give advice not knowing more about you and the situation, but if the relationship was difficult and you no longer have any contact maybe it would be better to try to move on? I know how hard it is to do that though so this advice may not feel realistic. Have you been able to speak about this to any friends/family who know you and what the relationship was like who may have views on whether you should move on or not?

No matter what you deserve to be in a happy supportive relationship and if that was not what it was like, you will find someone in the future who you can have that with,
take care
Jo
Thank you for the advise you gave me, I will take actions towards that.
However i would like to give you a insider of what the realtionship was like and example to you why I am confused.

It all began when hr asked me out and I said yes. We were going out for 2 months and everything was good me and him were happy and we were like a normal couple all loved up. However when we was going up to 3 months we started to agrue a bit but I wouldn't say it an agreement but a misunderstanding because this one girl liked him and she wanted me and him to break up so she started making up lies and stuff & most people at that time didn't want us to be together and started saying how I didn't love him (but I did but it wasn't that deep like how he loved me). Going up to are 3 month I make up a lie saying how I kissed a boy or something like that (I don't know what gave me the idea to do that :-c ), & then he stopped talking to me because he thinks I cheated on him when I never because of that lie I made up. I got really upset because I missed him (at that time is when I knew I was in love him soon much && also I was scared to loss him because he's an amazing boyfriend who would do anythibg to make me happy). We argued about me cheating on him (since this day he doesn't know I made that up) when he asked me why I done that I told him I was telling him and I told him it wasn't true (but I never said I lied to him). He forgive me and then we went back to our old ways happy and loved up. He had this bestfriend who use to always tell him o never loved him but I did and I don't think he best friend liked the idea that I was sending time with my boyfriend and I was taking him away from him. He best friend always use to say that he's too good for me and how me and him should break up. On VD he gave him his favorite teady and watch. He also gave me soo many things. He use to always back me up and not listen to what other people where saying to him about me.
We use to always be in compertation with each other to see who would get the highest grade (because we are both smart, him myor then me >.< ) he use to ways take me home everyday even though I live fear & we use to always play games with each other and see who is the best (even though I dislike to say this but it was him :biggrin:, but I did beat him onces). However doing are 4 months and 3 weeka is even everything went upside down. We use to agrue over what people said and over this one girl. Who liked him (I know he didn't like her at all) but I things she would do with him mad me think hmm what was going on, however he use to always push her away and he dislike her. She knew that me and him were going out but she would do always be around him and show her body off to him and stuff. Unfortunately things just got worst, I was in a group with my friends and this boy was telling everyone try on his necklace. (Some girl in my class at that point was deeply in love with him). So I tries on his necklace and I couldn't get it off because it was stuck in my hair and the boy helped me out by taking it off. However the girl who liked my boyfriend was watching and went and told the girl who was deeply in love with the boy that hepled me out that I was taking her man away from her. The deeply in love girl got upset and went on Facebook,Twitter, Instergram, everywhere saying that "I can't stay with one man, how I'm a dickhoper, how I go around playing with boys in my class and stuff" & she was also tell my boyfriend lies and saying how i play with boy, but I didn't say nothing but explained to people that asked me what really happened. Obviously my boyfriend heard about this and he believed mysild but I think he believed a little bit of what they was saying. We went on to arguing each two weeks was a different subject. But I think I done the most stupidest thing eve and I kick myself everyday for this, whenever I use to see him in school i would never say hi and I would always act like I didn't know him, I don't know why on earth I don't that when I inside I knew I was scared to loss him ( I think I done that because of what people would say or think) we had an argument over that most of the time because he hated how I never use to say hi to him.
Then 5 months came ( we.. mostly him would try so hard for the relationship to work but I think this was too much for me and him) we had the biggest agreement ever I can't even remember what it was but he said something that since today I can't forget it he said "...Your Bad Luck.." I was so shocked and then he broke up with me and now its been almost a year since we talked. But I see him all the time because we are in the same school and year.

I know that it was my forcet 100% why we broke up, he had so much planned for me but I let what people would think get on top of me, now I miss him aoo much (maybe because he is my first love and I think to myself eveyday WHAT IF ;*( )

Also I made the biggest mistake of my life sby going out with this boy a week after me and my 5 months broke up. I don't know why I done that but I think it was because I needed something/one to go to so that I don't have to show my real feelings becaye I never do.

So this is why I need help should I keep on going because I believe their is hope or move on and why?

Thank you
Angela

Posted from TSR Mobile
Hi Angela
Thank you for replying and for all the detail. I think I understand things a bit more now.
It sounds like you really cared for this boy and he obviously really cared about you. However, along the way things got difficult and other people seemed to be jealous of your happiness and tried to come between you.

I hear that you found that really hard and sometimes it led to you saying things that weren't true or not speaking to him in school. On the surface that may look like you are trying to push him away, but perhaps it was because you were just scared and confused and were not sure how best to deal with things. Sometimes when we feel like that it just seems easier to almost hide away from what is going on. Maybe you were almost also testing him in a way? Pushing him to see how he would react and how much he loved you? That may seem an odd thing to suggest but it's something to think about.

I understand that you really miss him. I am wondering how you would feel about approaching him in school to say hi, or contacting him somehow to ask if you can have a chat. Explain to him what was really going on and how you were feeling back then. He may still think that you did kiss someone else and that you were not really into him, so at least you can explain how you were feeling? It may help to write it down first so you can plan what you want to say? It may not result in you getting back together but at least you can say how you feel?

I am not sure how much this helps, but it is really good for you to be talking about how you feel,
take care
Jo
Thank you very much for your reply, i think the reason why I haven't been able to talk to him is because I'm scared of what he might say or so, I'm just so scared :-[ .

I still care about him a lot and it's coming up to most a year since we talked. I still have his bear and watch, we even gave it a name (blue bear) because we both love blue. Every time I see him it feels like my hear just skipped a beat, i can't stop looking at him ( when he's not looking >.< )

I don't know nothing about how he feels about me or even if he wants to talk to me and stuff. He called me "bad luck" so I don't even know what to say about that.

I would have to go to him and say hi but I just scared.

So what do you think I should do yhsy will benefit me, move on or try and over come my fears and stay?

Thank you
Angela :-)

Posted from TSR Mobile
It's really hard I know.
I think writing down what you want to say to him will really help you order your thoughts and reduce the anxiety.
It sounds like you need to do something as this has been going on for a year and you have not been able to move on yet. Perhaps you could just send him the letter or an email then you don't have to try talking to him face to face? It may also be difficult for him to suddenly talk after all this time.
I just want you to be realistic about the outcome, you may dream of getting back together but it may not work out like that, so perhaps what you need to hope for is a resolution where you get to say your side of things and hope that at least you can be friends or just know that he knows the truth. You can't control what he feels about what you say or if he believes it.

You need to think what you can do to safely move on from this (whether you choose to talk to him or not) - what will help? What do you need? Have a think about this and try to talk to friends so you don't feel alone with this tough decisions.
take care
Jo
Hi Joe

Thank you for the suggesting you have been marking for you, you have been really helping me out. I will think about the questions you have asked me and try to make the best chose for me.

I know its going to be hard but I believe I'm strong enough to do it. But the fact is I still care about him alot even if I still don't love him as much. The thing is I don't know

I believe that the best decision for me right is to forgot about him because I have a few tests coming up and I think my education is the most important right now. Have you even been in a soution like this and what did you do?

Thank you for all of your help. I will be updating you with my improvement.
Angela

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