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Long distance relationship, is it worth the effort?

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all i'd say is that i wouldnt give up on love, as difficult as everything seems there are things which just cant be foresaken and ture love is one if them, there is a chance that you may have true love and it would be a tragedy to throw that away, its just worth too much

Reply 21

Hel' in Heaven

Profesh

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

very nice

Is it Donne?!

And to the OP, I'm going to be in a similar situation with the distance next year, although I will be in London and my boyfriend will be in Spain for an Erasmus year! Slightly longer than 2 hours... :frown:

We will have been together 1 year in September, and I used to think that I'd be happy to start something new in England. Now the deadline is approaching, I'm dreading the fact that I will have to leave him.
It seems that the distance is not really an issue here though, as you think it could actually help you get away from your parents.. See how things develop early on next year, and don't make any brash decisions you might regret. I doubt it's very pleasant to start uni off with a broken heart!

Reply 22

Profesh

Hel' in Heaven

very nice

Is it Donne?!

No; Shakespeare. Sonnet 116, to be exact.

Reply 23

Hel' in Heaven

Profesh

No; Shakespeare. Sonnet 116, to be exact.

ach, I thought the whole "compass" and "true minds" thing was a Donne trademark, silly me

Reply 24

Helenia

Profesh

No; Shakespeare. Sonnet 116, to be exact.

Was it quoted in some cheesy film? I'm sure I've heard it before, and I'm NOT a sonnets expert.

Reply 25

Genna

Hel' in Heaven

very nice

I agree with the last bit. It may not be nice starting uni a month after breaking up someone you spent two years of your life with. I think you should put your worries aside and go for it, and see how things go. I was so worried about what uni may do for my boyfriend and I, but I think sod it. I can't worry about something before its happened. You never know- your independence gained at uni may help the situation with family. If your parents cannot accept who you love then it is their loss not yours ultimately, as its your happiness that counts.

Reply 26

Profesh

Helenia

Was it quoted in some cheesy film? I'm sure I've heard it before, and I'm NOT a sonnets expert.

Not being a 'cheesy film' afiçionado, I have absolutely no idea.

Reply 27

Carl

I'm with the "stick with him and see what happens" crowd. My girlfriend is out in France at the moment (I'm back in Cardiff for the year), but I plan to travel and see her quite often, and i any case we'll be back together from June, I hope. I'm nuts about this girl, breaking up because of the distance is the last thing either of us wants.

With that in mind, what's two hours on the train?

Reply 28

shady lane

Carl

Well there's a difference between your situation, which is just a year, and a three year long distance relationship, especially when there are family and religious reasons keeping it from being a lasting relationship anyway.

Reply 29

Carl

You can see each other every weekend if you are two hours from each other. I could possibly hope for once a month if I'm lucky with air fares and not too much uni work. I think being separated for any length of time is hard though.

Reply 30

username47781

oh definiatly it's not at all easy, there are gonna be times when it gets rough but when you get through it and your still together it makes it all the more worth it, plus you always got something to look forward to in the way of seeing her at the weekend which makes it more special.

Reply 31

wainwright

Im moving away to uni while my boyfriend will still be in london. im scared about it and i wonder how we'll cope, but while I can't give up my relationship, I really can't give up the chance of a great education and the uni experience either.

I say, love will find a way. Whether long distance couples stay together or break up, its a challenge that makes you a stronger person and whatever happens is meant to be

Reply 32

Retardchar

Long distance does work, but you do have to be willing to put in a lot of effort. My boyfriend and I have always been long distance; at home he lives in Essex and I live in the Midlands, he's at uni in Durham and I'm at Lancaster, and next year he's going on a study abroad year to California. We've been together eighteen months and we both, honest to god, believe we'll be fine simply because we trust each other completely and are very much in love.

It sounds lame, but if you believe in the relationship then there's no reason why it shouldn't last. Sometimes people just over think things too much. :smile:

Reply 33

Angelil

Carl1982

Oh why think oh we're going away to Uni let's break up how negative is that, why don't people have a go first, it can work and if you really love each other you can survive

You're talking to someone who's in a long-distance relationship, matey. That wasn't why I said she should end it. My boyfriend lives in SE France and I live in SE England and we've been together 20 months so don't you DARE tell me I don't get it.

I said she should end it because while she and her partner clearly love each other and want to be together, their being together could be at a terrible cost. She is realising these problems and debating whether it would be best to end it given these problems. I don't think that the prospect of a long distance relationship should automatically equal the relationship being over; but if there are already problems to begin with then it might be an appropriate moment to end it.

Would you like me to explain myself any further?

Reply 34

username47781

Angelil

but they don't have to end it

Reply 35

Angelil

No, they don't *have* to...but if you even read the OP, you'll see that the OP herself is starting to think it might be a good idea.

Reply 36

BobMob

I think you should break up now.

You're gonna be at uni for 3 years, and if you stay together all that time you will pretty much be getting married.

I was with my girl for 3 years before uni, and we stayed together when she went (a year earlier than me), but it was very hard and didn't work very well.

Unless you are planning marriage, I think it's not worth it, and by starting uni with a boyfriend you're just gonna drag it out and have less chance to make friends and have fun.

I speak from very similar experience to you, and if I could do it again I would have broken up sooner, for her sake.

Reply 37

Zoecb

It's not gonna work, 2 hours apart. Don't deny each other the university experience by feeling guilty and missing each other and everything. Just downgrade your relationship to friends or **** buddies or something.

Reply 38

janesmith

i dont see why uni should change anything now that ive read all these posts. i can only recall one couple who went to separate unis and initially they worked out a "see you every 2nd week" plan. it worked for a while but the guy cheated a fair few times and he wasnt even at uni. so its not about uni. yes you will meet a wider range of people and find more things in common with more people than you ever imagined but that shouldnt interfere with ur relationship. i say try to distance and see how it goes. if you break up its more because you've grown apart and matured in different ways. id never give up on something i felt was good just to fit into a schedule or sthg. let the relationship take its natural course. most people if they really liked someone wouldnt care to think practically and ask "should we end it" they would give it all they have and ignore the obstacles. whether you break up now or later you will still have to endure the heartache and the "how do i get over it" feeling.

Reply 39

Zafda

gah, maybe you should both talk about it, see what he thinks.

if it helps, have a bit of separate time when you start uni, and tell him, if you feel it obv, that if we find other people that we're more suited too then do say, because it may be that you'll find someone who you're more suited to at your own uni?

as for the long distance relationship, if both of you are truely commited to the relationship it will work, regardless of anything.