The Student Room Group

Going out with someone you've known a long time?

Does this ever work?

I've always felt that if you like someone, their looks should instantly make you attracted to them. I don't necessarily subscribe to this idea that looks "grow" on you or their personality "grows" on you which makes you like them. But does anyone think a relationship can last if it has started off this way?

When I'm talking about knowing someone, I'm talking about for 5 years.
Original post by Anonymous
Does this ever work?

I've always felt that if you like someone, their looks should instantly make you attracted to them. I don't necessarily subscribe to this idea that looks "grow" on you or their personality "grows" on you which makes you like them. But does anyone think a relationship can last if it has started off this way?

When I'm talking about knowing someone, I'm talking about for 5 years.


5 years is a fairly long time to know somebody. However, that being said I can't really see any reason why it wouldn't work. I would like for it to work out for me and a girl I've known for 8 months, so I'll just...leave this comment here...and hopefully others will come that have a better answer. :tongue:

I subscribe to the same theory as you have described. I don't quite understand why anyone would want to be in a relationship with someone specific if they were only attracted to them and there was no personality element at all. Looks don't last, and there's plenty of other good-looking people out there.
Reply 2
8 months knowing a girl is not bad. I say you should go for if. If you've known her for years, then I think it's a different ball game. I mean, what has taken you years to finally realise someone is attractive? Just doesn't make sense to me tbh
Well how old are you OP? I began a relationship with a girl I had known for 5 years in the last few months. I hadn't liked her for 5 years though. You see the thing is people change so much especially in their teens. I didn't like her when we were both 13 but as 18 year olds I do.
Reply 4
With my boyfriend/exs, it's usually been about 1-2 years of knowing them before I get together with them. One was in a relationship so I stayed back when I met him, though I did like him. But that was in my teens.

I don't fancy people instantly any more, I've become a lot more picky. Even if I did fancy someone because of their looks/initial impression, I probably wouldn't act on it because I want to find people who want the same kind of relationship as me. It will just get me hurt if I'm looking for something long term and he tells me after a few months that he only wanted something casual. Or it would be awkward if I wanted something casual and he was looking for long term.

Dating people as soon as you meet them is just asking for drama, because you don't even know if they are seeing other people or would just cheat on you in the blink of an eye.

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