Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Confused

I've been with my boyfriend nearly a year now. He's my first sexual partner and I don't doubt that I love him to bits. But here's the catch...
I keep thinking about this other guy from uni, I would never leave my boyfriend for him or cheat but I feel so guilty because I keep thinking about him!
It all started when we were playing a drinking game which I ended up having to tell people my first impressions of them. I told him that I had thought he was good looking (never said that I would date him now or anything like that and made it as casual as possible) and he was very very happy about it.
He hasn't made any kind of move on me and has been a great support when there are problems between me and my bf, telling me things like 'oh it'll all work out you guys are great' and stuff like that when I might complain.
But ever since his reaction towards me finding him attractive it's like somebody flipped a switch. Obviously I liked him a bit before but I could ignore it. I think it's come at a bad time because I've hit a rough patch with the bf.
Is this one of those 'grass is greener' feelings where because I'm upset in my relationship a bit right now I am thinking about other people because I think it'll be better?

Reply 1

Orthonym

I think it's a bit of 'grass is greener' but at the same time at this age the idea of settling down with one person is a bit scary/odd. So your mind will automatically want you to get back out on the market so to speak, and it doesn't help if an attractive male friend gives an impression that you and him could have a good time.

Arguments and bad patches aside, every relationship gets to that stage after some months where it's not as exciting, and one day you'll stop wanting that excitement of a new relationship. You want that excitement, and you could get that with your male friend, but that relationship will turn into a less exciting, comfortable relationship, just like this relationship, and then you'd be back in the same position again.

Reply 2

Stickman

Don't think the above post is true, certainly as I've been on the receiving end of your post. Bad times come and go. The happy memories stay all the time. If at your point in your relationship, you can't even remember the last time you were happy, maybe then yes you need to call it quits. But don't rush anything. Talk to your bf abt it - does he still want to be with you?