No friends since leaving uni :(

I finished uni last May, and been working full time in a small office environment since last August, but I literally have no friends in my area anymore :frown:

(Cambridge incase anyone is in the same boat :redface:

)

I have a great relationship but my girlfriend (I'm gay by the way!) has lots of her own friends and I miss not having any of my own to hang out with as I used to have quite a few at uni but they've all gone home now. I have been out socialising with my girlfriend and her friends a few times but I know its not healthy for me to have no friends of my own.

I find my job incredibly dull and the few people I work with are all much older than I am and are married so I can't imagine them wanting to be cinema buddies :colondollar:

I've been searching for a new job since Christmas with no luck, but am carrying on the hunt!

I'm 22 now, and could maybe join some kind of sports club but I wouldn't know which to go for where it's more about the social side than the competition. I tried looking for friends sites (instead of dating ones - this is how I met my girlfriend!) but can't see any popular ones.

Does anyone have any advice?

Reply 1

Lawrenc spa

Why don't you invite your old friends over or meet then somewhere else. If they were good friends to begin with I'm sure they'd be more than happy to. There's nothing wrong with going out with your gfs friends they could become friends of your own aswell

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Lawrenc spa

I really just want some friends to be able to hang out with a couple times a week or so, and meeting my uni friends would involve us travelling hours on a weekend as we all work now so this can't happen very often.

I was fairly close to her best friend's boyfriend, but they've now broken up and things ended quite badly, so I feel like I can't really chat to him anymore as it would just cause issues that I don't want. I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months and she's pretty much the only thing keeping me cheerful at the moment with a job I don't really like, so its all a little to precarious.

Reply 3

Spyro93

Original post by Bassetts

Stopped reading here. You're gay, you shouldn't be leading her on pretending that you're straight.

op is a girl

Reply 4

Holby_fanatic

Original post by Bassetts

Stopped reading here. You're gay, you shouldn't be leading her on pretending that you're straight.

It's a woman posting it. She's a lesbian. Duh.

Reply 5

Guy Secretan

haha was the post above serious (I meant by bassets) Can I ask if you and your girlfriend are together merely in a more sexual way in the sense that isn't it enough to be friends with her and her friends. I dunno what to suggest a I am in the same boat a lot of people who leave unversity struggle to make friends.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

Bassetts

Original post by Spyro93

op is a girl

oh crap. why did i assume it was a guy? :facepalm:

delete that quote to save my embarrassment, revision has clearly been getting to my brain. :redface:

edit: too late

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 7

cole-slaw

Original post by Anonymous

I finished uni last May, and been working full time in a small office environment since last August, but I literally have no friends in my area anymore :frown:

(Cambridge incase anyone is in the same boat :redface:

ha, funny, I live in Cambridge too.

Sports Clubs are definitely the way to go. Also, one of my friends has joined some "friend meeting" thing for people new to the city... Do you want me to ask him what the details are?

PM me if you would prefer.

Reply 8

Lawrenc spa

Original post by Anonymous

I have faith things will work out for you. My sisters fiancé lives with her and used to live miles away and that's where all his friends are. He goes out with my sisters friends and sometimes sees his own friends. Maybe think of some stuff to do that will be worth travelling for eg a concert. If you want regular friends just do a hobby you enjoy that gets you out of the house. Join a club like you said I recently joined a football team and it's a fantastic way of meeting new people don't worry about the competition side of it most people are just there for a good time

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Guy Secretan

No no not just sexual at all, she's my best friend too! I just don't want to rely on her too much as we have only been together for 6 months now and although things are going great, I feel its too risky to just have your girlfriend/boyfriend as your only friend in life.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Bassetts

oh crap. why did i assume it was a guy? :facepalm:

delete that quote to save my embarrassment, revision has clearly been getting to my brain. :redface:

edit: too late

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by Lawrenc spa

Thanks for this :smile:

I will look into joining a club of some sort!

Reply 12

climbing_trees88

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for this :smile:

I will look into joining a club of some sort!

Badminton is generally a good one for the social side, and it's not too difficult for beginners.

Couchsurfing meetings are also a good way to meet people in your city, you don't have to host people to sign up but that can be fun too since you get to meet lots of international people and it also gives you a chance to go out and do things in your area which you might not think of.

Reply 13

climbing_trees88

Original post by Anonymous

I tried looking for friends sites (instead of dating ones - this is how I met my girlfriend!) but can't see any popular ones.

Does anyone have any advice?

I believe 'meetup' or 'citysocialising' are supposed to be quite popular so you could look into those - I have no personal experience with them to offer though.

Or alternatively there's CSV volenteering which is something I've been meaning to get into.

Reply 14

MissDavies

You could try meetup.com. I'm a member (but in London) and found a book group that way (there are lots of other things as well but I wanted a book group!)

I did a quick search for the Cambridge area and this looks like the type of thing you could be interested in:
http://www.meetup.com/The-20s-Hot-Spot/

Reply 15

Georgie_M

Just join absolutely any club, getting out there can make you feel a lot better in yourself even if you don't meet the best of friends. One of my friends joined a choir, he's a beat boxer so musical anyway but not usually his thing but he enjoys the camaraderie. My mum joined a book club and they did some amazing things and she ended up judging loads of national prizes. A lot of my friends do hoola hooping or other circus skills and they love it, great fun. Rock climbing is good if you're active. There is so many options so really do have a look I know it can be daunting but worth a shot!