Not free

So after a pretty bad argument on the phone with my parent, they told me:
"No you cannot live your life the way you want to", in response to me telling me to leave me alone and do what I want. I am a 24 year-old Muslim female if that
matters.
Thing is, all my brothers and sisters are pressured to live to please my parents. I am not like that.
I am considering moving out.
BUT, I know from the moment I step out of the door, I will have to deal with estrangement. This is why I have not yet taken the step, despite all the drama we have had.
I am scared. I will be on my own and scared of dangerous people crossing my path, things happening to me.
Please advise.
Thanks

Reply 1

pmc:producer

20

The world is a deep, dark place. Stay with your parents forever.

Reply 2

brownsugar-xx

8

You must have some close friends you can confide in meaning you won't be totally alone?

Reply 3

Huskaris

16

Original post by Anonymous

So after a pretty bad argument on the phone with my parent, they told me:
"No you cannot live your life the way you want to", in response to me telling me to leave me alone and do what I want. I am a 24 year-old Muslim female if that
matters.
Thing is, all my brothers and sisters are pressured to live to please my parents. I am not like that.
I am considering moving out.
BUT, I know from the moment I step out of the door, I will have to deal with estrangement. This is why I have not yet taken the step, despite all the drama we have had.
I am scared. I will be on my own and scared of dangerous people crossing my path, things happening to me.
Please advise.
Thanks

Yet anothe young woman benefitting from Islam. I feel so sorry for you, I know this might sound crazy but take the leap, it's not worth being kept in a small bubble all your life. You can make yourself free and enjoy the world.

If you only live once it is insane to live it in the servitude of two people who might have your best interests at heart but are fundamentally wrong in their way of going about it.

Reply 4

Octohedral

16

I desperately want to tell you to leave, but I think you should speak to some people who have done so first. There must be a support group for estranged Muslims?

Living alone is not in itself scary, so long as you have an income and a place to stay. Have you already been to university? Do you have career interests? However, it is a big leap to be cut off from your family. Do you have sympathetic relatives or friends who would help you through the first year or so? I think you should do it, but plan carefully, and please speak to someone who has experienced this, as they will be able to point out the worst potential pitfalls. Good luck in your life. :smile:

Reply 5

CiaraVeliaAdele

7

Talk to a counsellor. Colleges have free consultation service. If you cant use that, then go to a library and read up on how to separate from your parents. Use an online forum even. Just, be sure before you take the leap.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

I know whee your coming from as I myself am from a Muslim family but my views and the way I want to live my life are miles apart from theirs. I'm quite a bit younger than you so for me know the plan is to save up go uni and become financially stable so that is not a worry. I'm also scared of having no one and living sad lonely life but at the same time I know for certain my life will be crap if I stay and I will forever be a prisoner of my families views and ideals at least if I leave I stand a chance of getting where I want to go and being free to live my life. Also while I'm scared I'd rather take the risk than forever wonder what life could have been like.

Reply 7

squeakysquirrel

20

Original post by Anonymous

"No you cannot live your life the way you want to", in response to me telling me to leave me alone and do what I want. I am a 24 year-old Muslim female if that
matters.
Thing is, all my brothers and sisters are pressured to live to please my parents. I am not like that.
I am considering moving out.
BUT, I know from the moment I step out of the door, I will have to deal with estrangement.
Please advise.
Thanks

I have said this before and it still rings true - you are not living in some backwater village in Bangladesh or Pakistan ( and I am guessing that is where your parents are from) - you are in the democratic UK. You parents chose to come here and they really have to accept that we do things differently here.

You say that your brothers and sisters are pressured to live to please your parents. I would suggest that they are all waiting for someone to make the move - if you have to be pressured to do something then it is not a choice.

I will even venture to say that your parents are not being true Muslims - Islam as we all know is a peaceful religion that has been hijacked by zealots and ignorant people and I would say that your parents are being ignorant.

I know plenty of Muslims who do not behave in this fashion - and I have lived in the middle east. By doing your own thing you will not become a bad Muslim. There are plenty of other girls out there who are in exactly the same position.

My advice to you would be to make the move - things don't change unless someone makes a stand

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