What do you think of girls who hook up with guys in relationships?

Interesting, and I agree with the posters above, who say that it is absolutely 100% morally reprehensible to allow someone to cheat with you (although I would say the cheater has a greater moral fault). However, I don't agree with those who have suggested that someone who does this is likely to cheat in a relationship, or do this again. You can never know, and I feel judging people on their past mistakes is unfair.
I have been the other woman, in a situation where I knew that my best friend had a girlfriend, and I knew the girlfriend (albeit not well). I was in love with him (a poor defence, but the only one I have) and he told me he loved me, and that his relationship was going really badly. We never went all the way, but began acting more like a couple, until he told me that he wasn't going to end his relationship. During that time, I felt very guilty vis a vis his girlfriend, but felt that if we were going to be a couple eventually it made little difference, so what I was doing was "ok". When I found out that actually we were not going to become a couple, I told him I no longer wanted anything to do with him and not to contact me again. In this situation, I would describe myself as entirely morally at fault, but I know that I would never ever do anything even resembling that again.

I think both are wrong, I don't see one being worse than the other. They both sort of cheated whoever was going out with them. Whether they know the person they betrayed or not, it's still wrong and the person will hurt exactly the same.
If the person with the cheater doesn't know, then you can't really blame them.
If someone cheated on me with a girl that didn't know he was in a relationship, I'd be hurt by her but I wouldn't absolutely hate her the way I'd hate the guy. I hope I'd understand it isn't her fault, but it depends on how angry I'd be

Interesting, and I agree with the posters above, who say that it is absolutely 100% morally reprehensible to allow someone to cheat with you (although I would say the cheater has a greater moral fault). However, I don't agree with those who have suggested that someone who does this is likely to cheat in a relationship, or do this again. You can never know, and I feel judging people on their past mistakes is unfair.
I have been the other woman, in a situation where I knew that my best friend had a girlfriend, and I knew the girlfriend (albeit not well). I was in love with him (a poor defence, but the only one I have) and he told me he loved me, and that his relationship was going really badly. We never went all the way, but began acting more like a couple, until he told me that he wasn't going to end his relationship. During that time, I felt very guilty vis a vis his girlfriend, but felt that if we were going to be a couple eventually it made little difference, so what I was doing was "ok". When I found out that actually we were not going to become a couple, I told him I no longer wanted anything to do with him and not to contact me again. In this situation, I would describe myself as entirely morally at fault, but I know that I would never ever do anything even resembling that again.

Depends on the situation; the girl can get manipulated into carrying it on after one mistake or she can be a slut who thinks she's clever because she "likes a challenge" and doesn't give a **** about people's feelings while the guy can range from weak, falling for temptation or a man whore/player who needs a slap as he clearly cares little for his girlfriend.

If the other girl knew he was in a relationship, IMO she's desperate. I don't understand how people can be satisfied being the bit on the side.

Exactly how often is a woman's male lover seen as 'desperate' or 'the bit on the side'?

Do you mean if she was the one cheating with him?

I still think cheaters are at fault, but I mostly meant the idiotic ones who like the "challenge" of getting a guy in a relationship. To be honest I think your situation is different because you were in love.
They always say love makes you do crazy things (never been in one personally) but I guess in your best friend's eyes, you betrayed her. Did you ever tell her what happened, did she find out another way or did she just never find out? As an outsider, I don't put as much blame on you because you were in love but if I was her, I would have shattered at bit at finding out the person I trust did that.

Sorry if it sounds harsh or blunt, its just my opinion.
I would blame the cheater and the person who cheated with them but it depends on the situation.

I guess you could have waited to see if he was going to break, but it doesn't matter now, at least you've learned from the experience.

Indeed. He's often seen as the thing she needs, the escape, the 'better' man.

In this situation, the best friend was the guy. Who is no longer my best friend. I didn't know his girlfriend well. I have no idea if he told her, but I doubt it. They've broken up now, unsurprisingly.

But, like I said, I don't think what I did was in any way justifiable, and I agree with you that cheaters, including those who allow people to cheat with them are at fault, I just feel the arguments on here that it's indefinitely unforgivable, and that someone in this situation is always going to be a serial cheater, are a little bit excessive. However, I can see that they are the consequences of my actions, and I wouldn't blame anyone who thought that of me.

I think the point is most effective when we take gender out of it.

A's partner (B) cheats on A with C.

In this situation I think B is the most reprehensible. C is also a prick but less so than B.

As far as I'm concerned it doesn't change the morality of this depending on the gender of any of the participants.

It's all her fault if she knows!!


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