Guy can't ejaculate
So I started seeing this guy a while back and he's lovely and I really like him but there is only one problem and it's happened a few times now..
He doesn't seem able to ejaculate. I lost my virginity a while ago and I'm a lot more experienced than he is and I said to him to tell me if there was anything he wanted me to do. I know he gets really nervous around me anyway so I've put it down to that but this has never happened to me before so I feel quite rubbish about myself. The fact that he was also a virgin has made me think it's just nerves but I'm scared it will always happen now
I'm trying now to make him less scared and I said there's no way I'm going to pressurise him into doing anything.
Anyone else had this problem before? How did you solve it?
He doesn't seem able to ejaculate. I lost my virginity a while ago and I'm a lot more experienced than he is and I said to him to tell me if there was anything he wanted me to do. I know he gets really nervous around me anyway so I've put it down to that but this has never happened to me before so I feel quite rubbish about myself. The fact that he was also a virgin has made me think it's just nerves but I'm scared it will always happen now
I'm trying now to make him less scared and I said there's no way I'm going to pressurise him into doing anything. Anyone else had this problem before? How did you solve it?
Original post by Anonymous
So I started seeing this guy a while back and he's lovely and I really like him but there is only one problem and it's happened a few times now..
He doesn't seem able to ejaculate. I lost my virginity a while ago and I'm a lot more experienced than he is and I said to him to tell me if there was anything he wanted me to do. I know he gets really nervous around me anyway so I've put it down to that but this has never happened to me before so I feel quite rubbish about myself. The fact that he was also a virgin has made me think it's just nerves but I'm scared it will always happen now I'm trying now to make him less scared and I said there's no way I'm going to pressurise him into doing anything.
Anyone else had this problem before? How did you solve it?
He doesn't seem able to ejaculate. I lost my virginity a while ago and I'm a lot more experienced than he is and I said to him to tell me if there was anything he wanted me to do. I know he gets really nervous around me anyway so I've put it down to that but this has never happened to me before so I feel quite rubbish about myself. The fact that he was also a virgin has made me think it's just nerves but I'm scared it will always happen now
I'm trying now to make him less scared and I said there's no way I'm going to pressurise him into doing anything. Anyone else had this problem before? How did you solve it?
lol i don't know how to solve that apart from some ejaculation pills but him not being able to do that is not so bad because it means you can have sex longer.
Anyone else?
I wouldn't try to solve it if I'm honest. I would make enjoyment the priority and keep reinforcing that (what would you like? does this feel good? anything i can do to make it better? this feels good. I really like this. Would you like to try X, Y,Z?). Eventually I think he'll feel a bit more confident and realise that it isn't about getting things right all the time, rather it is about trying to enjoy things all the time; and laughing about the mistakes and mishaps and everything else that happens when two bodies come together :P (I wouldn't even mention the lack of ejaculation or nerves because this could make him feel more vulnerable/less manly and make the issue worse)
Not always related to being nervous. It's happened to me before, and it's simply a case of bashing the monkey too much. It's not an exact science; maybe he masturbates too much? Maybe some-days he just feels less carnally infused?
Can he ejaculate on his own? How much does he masturbate? Is he perhaps masturbating too fast and with too tight a grip so sex doesn't provide the same sensations?
Is he on any medication. SSRI anti depressants in particular can often have this effect.
Is he on any medication. SSRI anti depressants in particular can often have this effect.
What Kabloomybuzz said.
If he can come on his own, it will come (sorry!) via this in time, when he's got used to the new sensations.
Inexperienced men often don't realise just how hard and fast you can go during intercourse without causing pain to an aroused partner, so do make sure he knows that you will say if you stop enjoying what's happening.
If he can come on his own, it will come (sorry!) via this in time, when he's got used to the new sensations.
Inexperienced men often don't realise just how hard and fast you can go during intercourse without causing pain to an aroused partner, so do make sure he knows that you will say if you stop enjoying what's happening.
Tbh its probably nerves. I always thought losing my virginity would take about 8 seconds. And strangely enough, I didnt ejaculate the first or second time.
Loads of stupid things go through your head, like where should I put my hands? how should I move? where should I look? Am I doing it like Will from the inbetweeners? What if this is awkward? What if I am ****? What if I have cum and not realised?
I may aswell of been a choreographer for a dance group with the amount of things I was planning in my head at the time
Loads of stupid things go through your head, like where should I put my hands? how should I move? where should I look? Am I doing it like Will from the inbetweeners? What if this is awkward? What if I am ****? What if I have cum and not realised?
I may aswell of been a choreographer for a dance group with the amount of things I was planning in my head at the time
As a 17 year old guy who has this 'problem', my advice would be try your best not to worry about it, and certainly don't think this means your boyfriend isn't attracted to you. I love my girlfriend dearly, and attraction and arousal are some of the many highlights of the relationship for me.
The problem for me predominantly lies with excessive and vigorous masturbation (once or twice a day is certainly common for guys my age). Men have a tendency to be quite vigorous when getting themselves off, and they don't need to use many muscles to do this (standard forearm - bicep - tricep interactions). We have to work a lot faster and use many more muscles to get anything close to the same level of stimulation during intercourse, which in itself is distracting, hard work. Yes, sex is certainly more of a turn on, but because the penis is so desensitised from the 100mph speeds of masturbation (okay, not THAT fast) we are turned on, but we aren't finishing. This brings me to the whole other problem of the aim of sex. Guys repeatedly have drilled into them through porn and friends that they've gotta make their partner cum first, and then they have to cum hard too. Sex no longer is about having fun together, it's winning or nothing. This is a problem for many reasons: there is an OBJECTIVE to finish, there is an OBJECTIVE to finish LAST, there is an OBJECTIVE to be mind-blowing in bed.
Needless to say, at best objectives are decidedly unerotic and at worst they are a distraction. I find that when I'm having sex the thought "how/when/where am I going to finish?" frequently crosses my mind. I might notice the feeling that I'm close, I normally focus on that feeling, and then suddenly the sex turns into an objective based activity full of 'methods' and 'timing' about how to cum, rather than the fun, intimate and rewarding 'bonus' an orgasm should be. As a result the feeling disappears and both partners are left disappointed. It may damage your ego if this happens, but trust me; it's on a level of emasculation on par with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Indeed it's the third most common sexual disorder in men; scientifically referred to as Retarded Ejaculation. I think there is a misconception in male communities that RE is a blessing rather than a curse and we should stop complaining. Unfortunately those of us who have RE can feel like we're missing out (well, we are..) but there is very little research into medical help for RE as a result of this misconception. Because sex then becomes an ego damaging activity, some men turn away from sex in self defense. They feel inadequate as lovers and as men.
Now, I have no idea how your relationship is with this man, and I won't presume to guess. Instead I'll just let you know about my continual efforts and personal experience. I had a traumatic first relationship which had a lot of emotional trauma behind it, which was followed by a stressful very objective, sex based second relationship. My current relationship is wonderful; it's only minor issue being my Retarded Ejaculation. To clarify; I am able to cum by myself, and I can cum during sex, although it isn't common. The sex is the best I've ever had, it's just that because I can only see my girlfriend on weekends (what with the **** load of school work and ongoing exams at the moment) I find myself being very horny during the week too. ****ing helps to relieve stress from all aspects of life (particularly school), it helps you focus on work as well as acting as a sedative helping you get to sleep if you find yourself pondering quantum physics in your bed. Because there's a combination of a lot of stress and testosterone during this week where I can't see my girlfriend I get myself off once a day on average, maybe more, maybe less. Because masturbation reduces testosterone levels (which is the intrinsic sex hormone in men), sexual intercourse can suffer as a result of frequent, vigorous masturbation.
I'm currently trying to remedy myself by simply cutting down on the amount I masturbate from daily, to weekly, to eventually not at all. Simple really, and in all honesty it'll probably be the most effective thing your boyfriend could do. He will get his sensitivity back and have higher testosterone levels which will improve his ego and his sex drive. Also, because testosterone is linked to exercise, I work out every now and then doing short bursts of weight lifting, rowing and push ups. Exercising in ways that increase his muscle stamina of muscles involved in sex (by doing push ups, sit ups, planking etc.) will reduce the amount of 'work' he need to put into sex, thereby reducing distractions and strains of sex. His body will improve at the same time, again improving his confidence which will only make him more happy to get naked with you.
While this is going on (because it will take time) make sure that when you have sex, you appreciate that he doesn't need to cum to enjoy himself (he certainly will) because your ego is important in this too.
I also recommend that while he's cutting down on masturbation, he adjusts his method of masturbation from the standard full "fist" to just his thumb and index finger. This will reduce the amount of desensitization he will experience.
Ultimately his goals need to be minimising the friction his penis experiences when he's not ****ing you while simultaneously maximising his testosterone levels and ego, and your goal needs to be creating the pressure free environment you seem to be trying too. It will take time, but you will both start noticing improvements. Through positive reinforcement it'll only get better.
As a final couple points, for extra effect try having sex spontaneously, ie. don't meet each other knowing you'll have sex. Little, super high quality sex is better than loads of disappointing sex. Some couples have a tendency to fall into a boring rut where sex loses its mystic and appeal. In teenagers like us, that normally results in the relationship falling apart. Finally: use of condoms. Condoms are a turn off for most guys I'd say, unless they find themselves too sensitive to have sex without a condom (people with Premature Ejaculation). You say you're experienced, so I don't doubt you know this. Perhaps you're ready to use the pill or other female contraceptives that don't interfere with sensitivity and get rid of the condoms, if you haven't already that is - just a thought.
I wish you both the best of luck, I'm still having trouble with the whole reducing masturbating thing myself, especially with all the exam stress, but it's the best way that'll yield the best results. There's no doubt in my mind that when I finally stop I will be firing loads like a machine gun.
Man, I hope you're still looking at this thread, this took ages to type
The problem for me predominantly lies with excessive and vigorous masturbation (once or twice a day is certainly common for guys my age). Men have a tendency to be quite vigorous when getting themselves off, and they don't need to use many muscles to do this (standard forearm - bicep - tricep interactions). We have to work a lot faster and use many more muscles to get anything close to the same level of stimulation during intercourse, which in itself is distracting, hard work. Yes, sex is certainly more of a turn on, but because the penis is so desensitised from the 100mph speeds of masturbation (okay, not THAT fast) we are turned on, but we aren't finishing. This brings me to the whole other problem of the aim of sex. Guys repeatedly have drilled into them through porn and friends that they've gotta make their partner cum first, and then they have to cum hard too. Sex no longer is about having fun together, it's winning or nothing. This is a problem for many reasons: there is an OBJECTIVE to finish, there is an OBJECTIVE to finish LAST, there is an OBJECTIVE to be mind-blowing in bed.
Needless to say, at best objectives are decidedly unerotic and at worst they are a distraction. I find that when I'm having sex the thought "how/when/where am I going to finish?" frequently crosses my mind. I might notice the feeling that I'm close, I normally focus on that feeling, and then suddenly the sex turns into an objective based activity full of 'methods' and 'timing' about how to cum, rather than the fun, intimate and rewarding 'bonus' an orgasm should be. As a result the feeling disappears and both partners are left disappointed. It may damage your ego if this happens, but trust me; it's on a level of emasculation on par with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Indeed it's the third most common sexual disorder in men; scientifically referred to as Retarded Ejaculation. I think there is a misconception in male communities that RE is a blessing rather than a curse and we should stop complaining. Unfortunately those of us who have RE can feel like we're missing out (well, we are..) but there is very little research into medical help for RE as a result of this misconception. Because sex then becomes an ego damaging activity, some men turn away from sex in self defense. They feel inadequate as lovers and as men.
Now, I have no idea how your relationship is with this man, and I won't presume to guess. Instead I'll just let you know about my continual efforts and personal experience. I had a traumatic first relationship which had a lot of emotional trauma behind it, which was followed by a stressful very objective, sex based second relationship. My current relationship is wonderful; it's only minor issue being my Retarded Ejaculation. To clarify; I am able to cum by myself, and I can cum during sex, although it isn't common. The sex is the best I've ever had, it's just that because I can only see my girlfriend on weekends (what with the **** load of school work and ongoing exams at the moment) I find myself being very horny during the week too. ****ing helps to relieve stress from all aspects of life (particularly school), it helps you focus on work as well as acting as a sedative helping you get to sleep if you find yourself pondering quantum physics in your bed. Because there's a combination of a lot of stress and testosterone during this week where I can't see my girlfriend I get myself off once a day on average, maybe more, maybe less. Because masturbation reduces testosterone levels (which is the intrinsic sex hormone in men), sexual intercourse can suffer as a result of frequent, vigorous masturbation.
I'm currently trying to remedy myself by simply cutting down on the amount I masturbate from daily, to weekly, to eventually not at all. Simple really, and in all honesty it'll probably be the most effective thing your boyfriend could do. He will get his sensitivity back and have higher testosterone levels which will improve his ego and his sex drive. Also, because testosterone is linked to exercise, I work out every now and then doing short bursts of weight lifting, rowing and push ups. Exercising in ways that increase his muscle stamina of muscles involved in sex (by doing push ups, sit ups, planking etc.) will reduce the amount of 'work' he need to put into sex, thereby reducing distractions and strains of sex. His body will improve at the same time, again improving his confidence which will only make him more happy to get naked with you.
While this is going on (because it will take time) make sure that when you have sex, you appreciate that he doesn't need to cum to enjoy himself (he certainly will) because your ego is important in this too.
I also recommend that while he's cutting down on masturbation, he adjusts his method of masturbation from the standard full "fist" to just his thumb and index finger. This will reduce the amount of desensitization he will experience.
Ultimately his goals need to be minimising the friction his penis experiences when he's not ****ing you while simultaneously maximising his testosterone levels and ego, and your goal needs to be creating the pressure free environment you seem to be trying too. It will take time, but you will both start noticing improvements. Through positive reinforcement it'll only get better.
As a final couple points, for extra effect try having sex spontaneously, ie. don't meet each other knowing you'll have sex. Little, super high quality sex is better than loads of disappointing sex. Some couples have a tendency to fall into a boring rut where sex loses its mystic and appeal. In teenagers like us, that normally results in the relationship falling apart. Finally: use of condoms. Condoms are a turn off for most guys I'd say, unless they find themselves too sensitive to have sex without a condom (people with Premature Ejaculation). You say you're experienced, so I don't doubt you know this. Perhaps you're ready to use the pill or other female contraceptives that don't interfere with sensitivity and get rid of the condoms, if you haven't already that is - just a thought.
I wish you both the best of luck, I'm still having trouble with the whole reducing masturbating thing myself, especially with all the exam stress, but it's the best way that'll yield the best results. There's no doubt in my mind that when I finally stop I will be firing loads like a machine gun.
Man, I hope you're still looking at this thread, this took ages to type
Original post by Alaric III
As a 17 year old guy who has this 'problem', my advice would be try your best not to worry about it, and certainly don't think this means your boyfriend isn't attracted to you. I love my girlfriend dearly, and attraction and arousal are some of the many highlights of the relationship for me.
The problem for me predominantly lies with excessive and vigorous masturbation (once or twice a day is certainly common for guys my age). Men have a tendency to be quite vigorous when getting themselves off, and they don't need to use many muscles to do this (standard forearm - bicep - tricep interactions). We have to work a lot faster and use many more muscles to get anything close to the same level of stimulation during intercourse, which in itself is distracting, hard work. Yes, sex is certainly more of a turn on, but because the penis is so desensitised from the 100mph speeds of masturbation (okay, not THAT fast) we are turned on, but we aren't finishing. This brings me to the whole other problem of the aim of sex. Guys repeatedly have drilled into them through porn and friends that they've gotta make their partner cum first, and then they have to cum hard too. Sex no longer is about having fun together, it's winning or nothing. This is a problem for many reasons: there is an OBJECTIVE to finish, there is an OBJECTIVE to finish LAST, there is an OBJECTIVE to be mind-blowing in bed.
Needless to say, at best objectives are decidedly unerotic and at worst they are a distraction. I find that when I'm having sex the thought "how/when/where am I going to finish?" frequently crosses my mind. I might notice the feeling that I'm close, I normally focus on that feeling, and then suddenly the sex turns into an objective based activity full of 'methods' and 'timing' about how to cum, rather than the fun, intimate and rewarding 'bonus' an orgasm should be. As a result the feeling disappears and both partners are left disappointed. It may damage your ego if this happens, but trust me; it's on a level of emasculation on par with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Indeed it's the third most common sexual disorder in men; scientifically referred to as Retarded Ejaculation. I think there is a misconception in male communities that RE is a blessing rather than a curse and we should stop complaining. Unfortunately those of us who have RE can feel like we're missing out (well, we are..) but there is very little research into medical help for RE as a result of this misconception. Because sex then becomes an ego damaging activity, some men turn away from sex in self defense. They feel inadequate as lovers and as men.
Now, I have no idea how your relationship is with this man, and I won't presume to guess. Instead I'll just let you know about my continual efforts and personal experience. I had a traumatic first relationship which had a lot of emotional trauma behind it, which was followed by a stressful very objective, sex based second relationship. My current relationship is wonderful; it's only minor issue being my Retarded Ejaculation. To clarify; I am able to cum by myself, and I can cum during sex, although it isn't common. The sex is the best I've ever had, it's just that because I can only see my girlfriend on weekends (what with the **** load of school work and ongoing exams at the moment) I find myself being very horny during the week too. ****ing helps to relieve stress from all aspects of life (particularly school), it helps you focus on work as well as acting as a sedative helping you get to sleep if you find yourself pondering quantum physics in your bed. Because there's a combination of a lot of stress and testosterone during this week where I can't see my girlfriend I get myself off once a day on average, maybe more, maybe less. Because masturbation reduces testosterone levels (which is the intrinsic sex hormone in men), sexual intercourse can suffer as a result of frequent, vigorous masturbation.
I'm currently trying to remedy myself by simply cutting down on the amount I masturbate from daily, to weekly, to eventually not at all. Simple really, and in all honesty it'll probably be the most effective thing your boyfriend could do. He will get his sensitivity back and have higher testosterone levels which will improve his ego and his sex drive. Also, because testosterone is linked to exercise, I work out every now and then doing short bursts of weight lifting, rowing and push ups. Exercising in ways that increase his muscle stamina of muscles involved in sex (by doing push ups, sit ups, planking etc.) will reduce the amount of 'work' he need to put into sex, thereby reducing distractions and strains of sex. His body will improve at the same time, again improving his confidence which will only make him more happy to get naked with you.
While this is going on (because it will take time) make sure that when you have sex, you appreciate that he doesn't need to cum to enjoy himself (he certainly will) because your ego is important in this too.
I also recommend that while he's cutting down on masturbation, he adjusts his method of masturbation from the standard full "fist" to just his thumb and index finger. This will reduce the amount of desensitization he will experience.
Ultimately his goals need to be minimising the friction his penis experiences when he's not ****ing you while simultaneously maximising his testosterone levels and ego, and your goal needs to be creating the pressure free environment you seem to be trying too. It will take time, but you will both start noticing improvements. Through positive reinforcement it'll only get better.
As a final couple points, for extra effect try having sex spontaneously, ie. don't meet each other knowing you'll have sex. Little, super high quality sex is better than loads of disappointing sex. Some couples have a tendency to fall into a boring rut where sex loses its mystic and appeal. In teenagers like us, that normally results in the relationship falling apart. Finally: use of condoms. Condoms are a turn off for most guys I'd say, unless they find themselves too sensitive to have sex without a condom (people with Premature Ejaculation). You say you're experienced, so I don't doubt you know this. Perhaps you're ready to use the pill or other female contraceptives that don't interfere with sensitivity and get rid of the condoms, if you haven't already that is - just a thought.
I wish you both the best of luck, I'm still having trouble with the whole reducing masturbating thing myself, especially with all the exam stress, but it's the best way that'll yield the best results. There's no doubt in my mind that when I finally stop I will be firing loads like a machine gun.
Man, I hope you're still looking at this thread, this took ages to type
The problem for me predominantly lies with excessive and vigorous masturbation (once or twice a day is certainly common for guys my age). Men have a tendency to be quite vigorous when getting themselves off, and they don't need to use many muscles to do this (standard forearm - bicep - tricep interactions). We have to work a lot faster and use many more muscles to get anything close to the same level of stimulation during intercourse, which in itself is distracting, hard work. Yes, sex is certainly more of a turn on, but because the penis is so desensitised from the 100mph speeds of masturbation (okay, not THAT fast) we are turned on, but we aren't finishing. This brings me to the whole other problem of the aim of sex. Guys repeatedly have drilled into them through porn and friends that they've gotta make their partner cum first, and then they have to cum hard too. Sex no longer is about having fun together, it's winning or nothing. This is a problem for many reasons: there is an OBJECTIVE to finish, there is an OBJECTIVE to finish LAST, there is an OBJECTIVE to be mind-blowing in bed.
Needless to say, at best objectives are decidedly unerotic and at worst they are a distraction. I find that when I'm having sex the thought "how/when/where am I going to finish?" frequently crosses my mind. I might notice the feeling that I'm close, I normally focus on that feeling, and then suddenly the sex turns into an objective based activity full of 'methods' and 'timing' about how to cum, rather than the fun, intimate and rewarding 'bonus' an orgasm should be. As a result the feeling disappears and both partners are left disappointed. It may damage your ego if this happens, but trust me; it's on a level of emasculation on par with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Indeed it's the third most common sexual disorder in men; scientifically referred to as Retarded Ejaculation. I think there is a misconception in male communities that RE is a blessing rather than a curse and we should stop complaining. Unfortunately those of us who have RE can feel like we're missing out (well, we are..) but there is very little research into medical help for RE as a result of this misconception. Because sex then becomes an ego damaging activity, some men turn away from sex in self defense. They feel inadequate as lovers and as men.
Now, I have no idea how your relationship is with this man, and I won't presume to guess. Instead I'll just let you know about my continual efforts and personal experience. I had a traumatic first relationship which had a lot of emotional trauma behind it, which was followed by a stressful very objective, sex based second relationship. My current relationship is wonderful; it's only minor issue being my Retarded Ejaculation. To clarify; I am able to cum by myself, and I can cum during sex, although it isn't common. The sex is the best I've ever had, it's just that because I can only see my girlfriend on weekends (what with the **** load of school work and ongoing exams at the moment) I find myself being very horny during the week too. ****ing helps to relieve stress from all aspects of life (particularly school), it helps you focus on work as well as acting as a sedative helping you get to sleep if you find yourself pondering quantum physics in your bed. Because there's a combination of a lot of stress and testosterone during this week where I can't see my girlfriend I get myself off once a day on average, maybe more, maybe less. Because masturbation reduces testosterone levels (which is the intrinsic sex hormone in men), sexual intercourse can suffer as a result of frequent, vigorous masturbation.
I'm currently trying to remedy myself by simply cutting down on the amount I masturbate from daily, to weekly, to eventually not at all. Simple really, and in all honesty it'll probably be the most effective thing your boyfriend could do. He will get his sensitivity back and have higher testosterone levels which will improve his ego and his sex drive. Also, because testosterone is linked to exercise, I work out every now and then doing short bursts of weight lifting, rowing and push ups. Exercising in ways that increase his muscle stamina of muscles involved in sex (by doing push ups, sit ups, planking etc.) will reduce the amount of 'work' he need to put into sex, thereby reducing distractions and strains of sex. His body will improve at the same time, again improving his confidence which will only make him more happy to get naked with you.
While this is going on (because it will take time) make sure that when you have sex, you appreciate that he doesn't need to cum to enjoy himself (he certainly will) because your ego is important in this too.
I also recommend that while he's cutting down on masturbation, he adjusts his method of masturbation from the standard full "fist" to just his thumb and index finger. This will reduce the amount of desensitization he will experience.
Ultimately his goals need to be minimising the friction his penis experiences when he's not ****ing you while simultaneously maximising his testosterone levels and ego, and your goal needs to be creating the pressure free environment you seem to be trying too. It will take time, but you will both start noticing improvements. Through positive reinforcement it'll only get better.
As a final couple points, for extra effect try having sex spontaneously, ie. don't meet each other knowing you'll have sex. Little, super high quality sex is better than loads of disappointing sex. Some couples have a tendency to fall into a boring rut where sex loses its mystic and appeal. In teenagers like us, that normally results in the relationship falling apart. Finally: use of condoms. Condoms are a turn off for most guys I'd say, unless they find themselves too sensitive to have sex without a condom (people with Premature Ejaculation). You say you're experienced, so I don't doubt you know this. Perhaps you're ready to use the pill or other female contraceptives that don't interfere with sensitivity and get rid of the condoms, if you haven't already that is - just a thought.
I wish you both the best of luck, I'm still having trouble with the whole reducing masturbating thing myself, especially with all the exam stress, but it's the best way that'll yield the best results. There's no doubt in my mind that when I finally stop I will be firing loads like a machine gun.
Man, I hope you're still looking at this thread, this took ages to type
Thank you for taking the time to write that! It means a lot!
Yeah I see what you mean about only seeing your girlfriend at the weekends. Mine is even more annoying in the fact that I'm at uni 100 miles away from him. Although I do try to go and see him as much as I can so I understand how that may be part of the issue
I don't know how to bring up the masturbating thing or whether I should mention it?Oh and how I wish I could go on the pill or something. Unfortunately after trying quite a few and having some nasty side effects (depression etc- I swear that thing works by just giving you no sex drive at all) I've been told it's best to avoid it and I've told him that. I wonder whether I could get those thinner condoms that you can buy and whether that would make a difference
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for taking the time to write that! It means a lot!
Yeah I see what you mean about only seeing your girlfriend at the weekends. Mine is even more annoying in the fact that I'm at uni 100 miles away from him. Although I do try to go and see him as much as I can so I understand how that may be part of the issue I don't know how to bring up the masturbating thing or whether I should mention it?
Oh and how I wish I could go on the pill or something. Unfortunately after trying quite a few and having some nasty side effects (depression etc- I swear that thing works by just giving you no sex drive at all) I've been told it's best to avoid it and I've told him that. I wonder whether I could get those thinner condoms that you can buy and whether that would make a difference
Yeah I see what you mean about only seeing your girlfriend at the weekends. Mine is even more annoying in the fact that I'm at uni 100 miles away from him. Although I do try to go and see him as much as I can so I understand how that may be part of the issue
I don't know how to bring up the masturbating thing or whether I should mention it?Oh and how I wish I could go on the pill or something. Unfortunately after trying quite a few and having some nasty side effects (depression etc- I swear that thing works by just giving you no sex drive at all) I've been told it's best to avoid it and I've told him that. I wonder whether I could get those thinner condoms that you can buy and whether that would make a difference
That does make it harder.. I'm not sure if you've already tried it but the implant or injection might be something to consider in that case, although I'm not sure how they work so I can't say whether or not they'd have the same emotional effects as the pill.
Thinner condoms would definitely be a good idea, but they operate mainly on placebo - the condom wall isn't that much thinner (obviously don't tell your boyfriend that
)Of course, combining thinner condoms and an increase in his sensitivity would be effective. I think when trying to bring up the topic with him it's most important to be open.
Perhaps talk about how you worry (or other appropriate verb) he's not enjoying himself as much as he could be - you want to make him feel good. Say how you've heard sensitivity might be the cause of him being unable to finish and then discuss ways in which you both can make things more sensitive for him.
I don't know, as a more dominant guy I prefer to initiate these conversations myself to say "I've identified the problem, here's what I'm going to do", but if your boyfriend hasn't identified the problem then this is a conversation you'll need to start. If you can, try and make it seem like his idea - it may give him more motivation to see it though.
It's important to do it in a way that doesn't further objectify his orgasm, so that'll need to be led by your good sense. But, as with everything in a relationship, being able to talk openly about it will help.
That 100 mile distance doesn't sound too fluffy, if you know a good way of making it work, please pm me or something. I'm probably going to study in Germany while my girlfriend studies here in England
hope to hear from you soon!Original post by Anonymous
So I started seeing this guy a while back and he's lovely and I really like him but there is only one problem and it's happened a few times now..
He doesn't seem able to ejaculate. I lost my virginity a while ago and I'm a lot more experienced than he is and I said to him to tell me if there was anything he wanted me to do. I know he gets really nervous around me anyway so I've put it down to that but this has never happened to me before so I feel quite rubbish about myself. The fact that he was also a virgin has made me think it's just nerves but I'm scared it will always happen now I'm trying now to make him less scared and I said there's no way I'm going to pressurise him into doing anything.
Anyone else had this problem before? How did you solve it?
He doesn't seem able to ejaculate. I lost my virginity a while ago and I'm a lot more experienced than he is and I said to him to tell me if there was anything he wanted me to do. I know he gets really nervous around me anyway so I've put it down to that but this has never happened to me before so I feel quite rubbish about myself. The fact that he was also a virgin has made me think it's just nerves but I'm scared it will always happen now
I'm trying now to make him less scared and I said there's no way I'm going to pressurise him into doing anything. Anyone else had this problem before? How did you solve it?
Don't worry at all honestly, if he's with you he likes you! But maybe he wand something a little more cough*fetishes?*cough, or he needs to stop playing with himself as much
or if he thinks he has a problem = doctors but be nice and talk to him about it! Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for taking the time to write that! It means a lot!
Yeah I see what you mean about only seeing your girlfriend at the weekends. Mine is even more annoying in the fact that I'm at uni 100 miles away from him. Although I do try to go and see him as much as I can so I understand how that may be part of the issue I don't know how to bring up the masturbating thing or whether I should mention it?
Oh and how I wish I could go on the pill or something. Unfortunately after trying quite a few and having some nasty side effects (depression etc- I swear that thing works by just giving you no sex drive at all) I've been told it's best to avoid it and I've told him that. I wonder whether I could get those thinner condoms that you can buy and whether that would make a difference
Yeah I see what you mean about only seeing your girlfriend at the weekends. Mine is even more annoying in the fact that I'm at uni 100 miles away from him. Although I do try to go and see him as much as I can so I understand how that may be part of the issue
I don't know how to bring up the masturbating thing or whether I should mention it?Oh and how I wish I could go on the pill or something. Unfortunately after trying quite a few and having some nasty side effects (depression etc- I swear that thing works by just giving you no sex drive at all) I've been told it's best to avoid it and I've told him that. I wonder whether I could get those thinner condoms that you can buy and whether that would make a difference
There are loads of options beyond the pill
Original post by Kabloomybuzz
There are loads of options beyond the pill
When I went to the doctors they thought my body doesn't agree with the hormones. It would have been lovely if I just got fat or something but it wasn't. I heard there's a hormone-less version of the coil but my mum said it really, really hurts and hers just fell out anyway.
I guess I'm scared of going anywhere near anything like that now :/
I want to speak to him about the masturbation thing but I don't know how to bring it up with him without sounding mean :/ or pushy/weird
Original post by Anonymous
When I went to the doctors they thought my body doesn't agree with the hormones. It would have been lovely if I just got fat or something but it wasn't. I heard there's a hormone-less version of the coil but my mum said it really, really hurts and hers just fell out anyway.
I guess I'm scared of going anywhere near anything like that now :/
I want to speak to him about the masturbation thing but I don't know how to bring it up with him without sounding mean :/ or pushy/weird
I guess I'm scared of going anywhere near anything like that now :/
I want to speak to him about the masturbation thing but I don't know how to bring it up with him without sounding mean :/ or pushy/weird
I have a copper coil and its great, had it 2 years and it did hurt to have it fitted but a few mins pain for 5-10 years protection is worth it. They have come a long way and there are much fewer risks with it these days. You could also consider the vaginal ring, as the hormones are more localised so you might get less side effects.
Seriously though, do your research on all of your options
Original post by Kabloomybuzz
I have a copper coil and its great, had it 2 years and it did hurt to have it fitted but a few mins pain for 5-10 years protection is worth it. They have come a long way and there are much fewer risks with it these days. You could also consider the vaginal ring, as the hormones are more localised so you might get less side effects.
Seriously though, do your research on all of your options
Seriously though, do your research on all of your options
Yeah that could help. Not only to try and fix this but also for peace of mind. Those condoms are only 97% effective I guess. I think I'll start looking into it
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