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Sex problem

First of all sorry, i know there have been threads similar to this before but this is really getting me down and worrying me.

Me and my bf have tried having sex on 2 separate nights now and it just wont happen! We are both virgins, we do foreplay, and it's fine for him to finger me but when he actually tries to enter me the pain is unbearable. The first time it happened i thought it must be because i'm a virgin and fairly inexperienced...it wouldnt go in at all because it hurt so much. The next day i bled a little and since then there has been a lot more fingering so i thought it would be ok the next time.
However, it still wouldnt happen. He cant have entered more than a cm or two and the pain was so bad that i couldnt even get him to push any further. It felt tight to me but he said it didnt feel tight to him. There was quite a lot of blood immediately this time so it makes me think it is my hymen, however we've always been fine for fingering. We are totally ready and i really do want to sleep with him. We've tried me on top, missionary, with and without a condom (i'm on the pill) and with and without lube! It's really frustrating.

I'm aware the answer might be that yes it is my hymen and it will happen eventually but this is making me worry so much and getting me down, so i suppose i'm looking for reassurance. Do you think it is worth going to the doctor?
Thanks.

Reply 1

Fleece

15

Well (hopefully) a penis is bigger than fingers. So fingering wouldn't necessarily break the hymen. You could go the doctor if it'd put your mind at ease, but I dunno.

Reply 2

PFC123

Maybe you are just a little apprehensive when he tries to enter you and so you tense up (even if you don't realise it?) The same thing happened to me :smile:

Maybe you should take things slower, spend a lot of time just fooling around and seeing what things you like? If all the emphasis is on sex then expectations are built up, you then worry, can't have sex and then worry even more :smile:

I hope things work out for you :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

You should just skip the sex thing. who cares :tongue:

please sex the forums before posting, every week we get atleast 3 girls coming here with EXACTLY the same question.

Reply 4

Fleece

15

Anonymous

You should just skip the sex thing. who cares :tongue:

please sex the forums before posting, every week we get atleast 3 girls coming here with EXACTLY the same question.

sex on the brain much?

Reply 5

dogtanian

16

Sex the forums?

^o)

I think you're making a bigger deal of it than need be, which is making it a bit more stressful for you. if it doesn't happen for you, don't worry about it, just try again another time.

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

I had the same problem, I went to the doctor several times about it but there was limited stuff she could do, really. Just keep trying, try to relax, use lots of lube, do it very very gently.

3rd time lucky for me, that's when it started being bearable. The trick was going on top. That way you're in control and you lower yourself onto it at your own pace.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

/me invents a new way to say search.

seriously though, this thread gets very dull after it reincarnates itself 3 times a week.

just keep trying

it took my gf about the fourth time of sex to eventually get it in smoothly,

dont worry its normal . always hard at 1st.... eventually it will run smooothly

Reply 10

Sam Beckett

7

Anonymous

/me invents a new way to say search.

seriously though, this thread gets very dull after it reincarnates itself 3 times a week.

Pro boot licker are we? The break up and 'does he/she like me' threads pop up a lot more. Why don't you go whine in them, maybe even try having some balls and not posting anonymous. I think that was 'abuse of the Anonymous function' anyway...ooh.

Anyway, OP should use LOTS of lube, both in herself and on the guy. Foreplay, and kissing etc.

If he is quite thick (his penis) then you would need to do a fair bit of stretching. In my experience that would take about a month and its a good idea to use a vibrator/dildo too, but once say two fingers can go in then you should be ok.

Just foreplay, lube and patience. Also don't be afraid otherwise your vagina will be like a clam. It needs to be open like a flower lol. Good luck.

Reply 11

Apricot Fairy

16

Try getting him to use more fingers when he's touching you, to gradually try and stretch you a bit. Then when you try and have sex again, make sure he goes really slowly. I'm pretty tight down there, and if I have sex after a long period of not having sex, it normally hurts at first, even though I lost my virginity three years ago. However, my first time didn't hurt at all, even though my boyfriend was quite big, because he literally took about five minutes to put it in.

Also, you can never have too much lubrication. Make sure you're really relaxed and turned on, and that you've done plenty of foreplay, and if necessary use some KY jelly as well. I think part of the problem is often pyschological. You think it's going to hurt, so you tense up, and then it really does hurt. This is why going really slowly is best. No sudden movements whatsoever. Barely any movement at all until he is inside you.

Reply 12

Barny

17

Its gonna hurt, just get over the pain of the first few times and it'll start feeling good, well, if your boyfriend is any good, I mean.

Definitely get some KY in the mix anyway, his penis will be like a slippery fish afterwards which can only make it easier for your first time.

Reply 13

bluenoxid

13

Anonymous

/me invents a new way to say search.

seriously though, this thread gets very dull after it reincarnates itself 3 times a week.

Is that an idea

I am still a virgin so my advice would be pointless anyway. Just enjoy it

Reply 14

flic_pearson

It will be sore for your first time but if you are getting really bad pain then something isnt right. Most likely you are nervous and tensing up. Take it really slowly and get comfy before trying penetration. You need to be TOTALLY relaxed before it will work (but having said that prepare yourself for a lil momentary discomfort).

Reply 15

lazza

15

you could go horseriding and pray for tearage?

Reply 16

Jonatan

13

What kind of pain is it?

This isn't all that uncommon, but it usually gets better. I suppose it doesn't hurt talking to a doctor about it if you are worried, but I doubt there is reason to be all too worried.

Reply 17

Anonymous #6

Well count yourself lucky that its going in because when me and my boyfriend tried it took like 3/4 months for actual contact to happen.

Just relax and take it really slow, I know this might sound stupid but try some alcohol to help you relax obviously not to the point that you don't know what your doing but just slightly tipsy.