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The intended one nighter that defo didn't feel like one

Just going to put it out there that this is really out of character for me and I actually find it difficult to get attached to people and feel affectionate towards them. Which is why I'm finding my feelings right now to be weird and uncomfortable atm. I've had quite a few ONS in the past (no judgements, please) and never thought much of them at all.

So, I went out to a bar a few nights back, met a guy, went back to his and... turns out, we didn't have sex. We didn't even sleep though. We just spent hours and hours talking about music, hugging, kissing, chatting etc. Personality-wise, we really hit it off and over the course of the night/day became unusually affectionate for a ONS. i.e. constantly staring into each others eyes in silence for about 30 mins straight, tracing each others faces, eskimo kisses, slowly exploring each other's body parts one by one (not in a dirty way - like wrists, shoulders, toes, etc) saying things like "you're the most beautiful..." etc. When we talked, it was pretty electric and when we didn't, it was really quite intimate.

I'm actually baffled by how unusual this was. In the morning, I asked if he wanted me to go. He said I could stay for the day if I wanted. Offered to buy me breakfast and lunch. Really took care of me and treated me lovingly (dare I say).

I got a little bit scared by how I was starting to like him and how he was being so affectionate towards and genuinely interested in me, so I randomly got really silent. We both noticed and he walked me half-way home and I had it in my head that I should just leave it as a ONS, but just before I took off on my own, he got panicky and asked "what do we do now? do we exchange numbers?" and I said yes, why not, because I'd like to see him again. I gave him my number, he said he'd text me and we kissed goodbye.

Almost a week later, no text. Do I wait, still? Do I tell myself I was used for sex (even though I technically wasn't) and just move on with my life?
I'm usually totally fine after a standard situation like this. It's just that the experience was SO different. I cannot BELIEVE I'm in this position - I think about him a fair bit during the day, and I really wish I didn't because I don't want to be wasting my time.

I'm sorry this was long. Still baffled. Any advice? D'you reckon it's worth holding on to hope or just forgetting about it and getting on with life?

Reply 1

Paula.Wright

Take a leap of faith and text him, he's probably feeling the same way you do. As they say up north 'shy bairns gets nowt' xxx

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 2

joker12345

Text him. What have you got to lose?

Reply 3

Zarek

Carpe diem - call him. Personally once regretted not following up a somewhat bizarre drunken toe sucking episode..

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 4

climbing_trees88

Take a chance, go and get him!

Reply 5

jay2013

Text him. Say something like "Hey, when are we having another sexless one night stand again?"

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the advice guys :smile:

It's all really optimistic and I really appreciate that!
I 100% would text him. Only thing I was a bit of a panicky idiot when I said bye and didn't get down his number. But he has mine.

A friend of mine's suggested to drop him a short note in his letterbox asking if he wants to go for a drink, drop me a text etc. Not too sure about this one - scared it might come across creepy. Good idea? Bad idea?

Reply 7

joker12345

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for the advice guys :smile:

Go for it but keep it short and sweet - the post above is pretty good actually!

Do it!

Guy bottled it hard ffs.

Reply 10

Plumstone

Yes, drop a note through the letter box (ideally when he's not there, otherwise it could get awkward) and then make sure you let us know how it goes!!!

Reply 11

Malevolent

Original post by jam278

Guy bottled it hard ffs.

Man choked haha

But seriously text him. You got nothing to lose.

Reply 12

Lotus_Eater

You could put a note through his door I suppose, but I'd definitely leave it after that.

Your mistake was in clamming up the next morning and then not communicating properly. He would have naturally assumed that you were unimpressed with him in the cold light of day, and then your failure to text would have confirmed that.

By all means put a note through his door (if he thinks you're creepy then who cares? you're no worse off than now) but I would keep my expectations low if I were you.