Love my girlfriend but she's gained weight - no longer physically attracted

Have you thought about why you're only attracted to slim girls? Don't you think that's a bit shallow?

Have you thought about why you're only attracted to one sex? Don't you think that's a bit shallow?

Hold on: aromantic asexuals aren't attracted to anyone at all. God, how self-absorbed.

Except gender and weight are very very different things...

Fig. A:



Fig. B:



Do you mean to imply that the latter are somehow less similar than the former?

Lol where did you get implication from...

If you accept love as being at all dependent on sexual attraction, and recognise that sexual attraction is frequently determined by aesthetics, and that aesthetics are necessarily informed by physical characteristics, then your assertion that 'weight and gender are very, very different' (i.e. trivial versus non-trivial) is debunked by my previous example wherein weight is shown to account for a greater physical disparity than gender.

Alternatively, in order to effectively contend that love should transcend sexual attraction, you must posit love as non-physical; in which case sex and weight are interchangeable.

So: either love is physical ergo sexual attraction (and therefore, weight) matters, or it's non-physical ergo sexual attraction (and therefore, gender) is of no consequence. All that your cognitive apathy has achieved in this scenario is to further cement the basic premise that individual conceptions of love are neither voluntary nor rational, and as such your sanctimonious comments towards the O.P. may be considered similarly devoid of sense, reason or objectivity.



No, you've taken this out of context of the human race; if you love someone I really don't see what their gender has to do with anything.

ok bye xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Be sure to pick up a bright yellow username on your way out.

To be blunt, if you like skinny girls, go out with one! I know this must be difficult for you but it isn't fair to make your girlfriend feel bad about her body. A few years ago I have a boyfriend who told me that I should tone up more (I'm pretty small, size 8-10, don't have a lot of body fat at all) and I did because I wanted to please him but I just ended up feeling bad about myself. If you tell her that you don't find her attractive because of her weight, that is not going to do wonders for her self esteem.

Do you not understand that that still doesn't give him the right to tell her what to do with her body?

lol she was skinny when he first dated her.


If you love someone you'l try to make them happy anyway. Looking your best for them will make them happy. And yourself happy.

Your outlook is just a selfish one.

There are 2 types of people going into relationships:

A) "Great I'm in a relationship I can stop taking care of myself and enjoy all the perks. If they don't like it thats their problem."

B) "I want to make my partner happy and look my best for them. Making them happy makes me happy"

Of course. I spend a fortune on lingerie but I wouldn't go to the gym if someone asked me to (it's pretty expensive and working out if you're not totally into it is never going to be fun), and likewise I wouldn't stop lifting weights if my boyfriend didn't like it.

When one partner piles on the weight I think it is just selfish behaviour. Maybe she is subcontiously trying to push you away. In my opinion each partner has a responsibility to keep themselves in reasonable shape. I am tired of hearing about people who say you shouldn't hurt her feelings......she is hurting her own feelings. Tell her you love her and want to be with her but if she doesn't lose some weight then she shouldn't expect too much sex. Just be honest. In my opinion this is all her fault. Hide her car keys and make her walk everywhere. Throw out all her chocolate and cakes.

When one partner piles on the weight I think it is just selfish behaviour. Maybe she is subcontiously trying to push you away. In my opinion each partner has a responsibility to keep themselves in reasonable shape. I am tired of hearing about people who say you shouldn't hurt her feelings......she is hurting her own feelings. Tell her you love her and want to be with her but if she doesn't lose some weight then she shouldn't expect too much sex. Just be honest. In my opinion this is all her fault. Hide her car keys and make her walk everywhere. Throw out all her chocolate and cakes.