Terrified that I have HIV

I am the stupidest person in the world, and trusted someone enough to have sex without a condom, just the pill. I believed him, he told me he had been tested for everything 3 months ago, and that he had only had sex once before and it was with a condom.

After sex he gave me cause to doubt everything he had ever told me, and turns out he has never been tested for HIV, and this girl was a promiscuous girl and they did not use a condom. This would all be bad enough, but to top it all off he is from a third world country where sex education is limited and AIDs is rife. There is the possibility you can catch things from dodgy needles in hospitals.

I had sex with him 5 weeks ago, and for the last week I have felt awful- tired, headaches, and my lymph nodes are all swollen. This is what scares me, as I have heard than many people with HIV get swollen glands as an early symptom, and I have NEVER had swollen glands before.

I am so so scared. If I have HIV I don't see the point in carrying on. I am kicking myself for my stupidity. I am so anxious and scared to get tested. Please help :frown:

Reply 1

De Chirico

If you're this worried, the only way to know definitively is to go and have a blood test.

Reply 2

Blues Clues

Original post by De Chirico

If you're this worried, the only way to know definitively is to go and have a blood test.

^ (although you might have to weight for some time)

Also, know that HIV these days is far from a death sentence. I read this article once about how this doctor said he'd rather have diabetes than HIV so even still.

Reply 3

contradicta

Definitely go an get tested.

Try to stay positive -HIV is not the death sentence it used to be "Although there is no cure for HIV, treatments are now very effective, enabling people with HIV to live long and healthy lives." - NHS Website

I'm confident the cure will be found in the next 5/10 years - they have already succeeded in curing some babies.

edit: maybe 'try to stay positive' was the wrong word choice here

Reply 4

HumanCitizen

Original post by Anonymous

This would all be bad enough, but to top it all off he is from a third world country where sex education is limited and AIDs is rife. There is the possibility you can catch things from dodgy needles in hospitals.

Sex education is not limited in third world countries. Because HIV/AIDS is so rife they have actually taken extra care to educate their populations about the disease, the usefulness of abstinence and protected sex. The chances of also catching HIV from dodge needles is pretty rare as needles are not reused and recycled between people.

I'm sorry you are in this situation. You should however not be afraid to be tested. The symptoms you describe could be for anything. They could just be for a cold. In fact for many people an initial HIV infection is symptomless. You don't want to worry unnecessarily or leave it too long. It's for your own good and the good of your future partners. Like people have said, HIV if diagnosed in the correct time, is not a death sentence.

Reply 5

hslt

[QUOTE="contradicta;47853470"]Definitely go an get tested.

Try to stay positive -HIV is not the death sentence it used to be "Although there is no cure for HIV, treatments are now very effective, enabling people with HIV to live long and healthy lives." - NHS Website

[/COLOR]I'm confident the cure will be found in the next 5/10 years - they have already succeeded in curing some babies.

edit: maybe 'try to stay positive' was the wrong word choice here

1st true

2nd one extremely unlikely, they cured 2 babies by giving them a BMT, a proof of principle for a young baby with almost 0 viral load, but a BMT comes with a mortality rate of 20% as a 20 year old and 50% as a 40-50 year old. Simply not a solution for adults. Nothing else that I have heard of coming soon (meaning decades) that will cure, but ever better ways to control the disease are being developed.

What I'm getting at is, HIV is no ideal, not likely to be curable for a good while yet, but ultimately it doesn't affect you life expectancy anymore (with good health care) - it's just annoying having to go to the Dr that much more often than everyone else.

It's also very hard to catch from a single exposure, and there are plenty of other things that give you lymph nodes everywhere that you could have caught from anywhere.

Don't worry too much OP. but do get tested.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

Malmö

Its a scary situation, and at some time everyone does it, so youre totally not alone.

Good news is that someone feels ill from AIDS, not HIV. That takes years to develop. Its not that making you ill!!!

If you have sex and catch HIV the incubation period is 3 months, so if youre tested now, it would show up.

AIDS, however, takes *years* to develop even if untreated, so there is no way your illness now is AIDS. Obviously, this doesnt mean you dont have HIV, but just that its not that making you ill.

The test is instant~ a small finger prick to take blood and the result in about a minute.

Im not an expert on STDs but off the top of my head i cant think of one which gives those symptoms, and its more likely you just have something else and youre adding 2+2 and getting 54 : )

I think your illness is unrelated to sex.

Hepatitis doesnt have swolen lympths, from a quick check i did.

Get tested. Its free and you can give a fake name.

Ive thought twice i had genital warts. Both times it was an ingrowing hair : )

Everyone makes mistakes and condoms split. Anytime you do in the future, get tested, as chlamidyia has no symptoms but can leave you infertile. But obviously~ aim to be really careful.

Good luck!

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Reply 7

Anonymous #2

You should have gone for PEP afterwards because it can (-operative word) prevent HIV if started within 72 hours. Now I understand that it may be scary the thought of possibly having this disease which we've all been made to fear, but it's important you go and get tested to prevent yourself from getting seriously ill if you do have it.

You don't know... who knows it could be that you're fine and your swollen lymph nodes is just a small infection which the body normally gets.

If you get tested, the test may come back negative. I understand this is a very difficult time for you ... but there is a large chance you don't have the disease and getting tested will help you to feel better and put your mind at rest.

Good luck with it all and try not to worry. Tests are only conclusive from 3 months so you have some waiting to do :frown:

Reply 8

The_Dragonborn

OP, just remember next time - use just use a condom to save yourself this kind of worry! Also, even though I don't think it's HIV (judging from what some users here have posted), look out for signs on people you have sex with e.g. you said the guy was from a country where AIDs is rampant and with little sex education - you need to be careful if you are going to sleep with people like this and use the necessary protection.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 9

squeakysquirrel

OP - get tested. The sooner you know the better. I had a needlestick injury from a guy who had a very high viral load and had to take the antiretrovirals for a month - it was fine.

It is unlikely you are HIV positive but if you are you will just have to take the pills. You will have a near enough normal lifespan if you look after yourself.

It is a tough lesson to learn and I hope you will be alright

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 10

Okkefac

Don't listen to those idiots who are complaining about sex before marriage, they're just being silly and pushing their views on you to make you feel bad for it.

Of course you made a mistake, and mistakes happen, and that sucks. I hope you had a go at the guy for lying to you because that was a terrible thing for him to do, and of course you did ask him, which means he's definitely in the wrong if he flat out denied any chance of having an STD.

I don't know how long you have to wait before being able to get an accurate HIV test result, maybe search around online, and when you get to that stage (if you're not at it already) go see your GP or go to a clinic or something and get yourself tested, this may just all be in your head (you may have a cold or something, and you getting worried is making it worse!).

HIV isn't a death sentence anymore, as said on here, again I don't know details but medicine has come so far and you'll be able to lead a mostly healthy life I imagine.

I can't imagine how horrible a position you are in, I'd hate to be worried about something that important.

I hope all is well and that you're healthy, just worrying too much. :hugs:

Reply 11

CJKay

I don't know what you want us to say except to get tested, OP.

Reply 12

Tcool

Get tested straight away and for future advice get to know the person before you tango with them :smile:

Reply 13

unprinted

Modern blood-based tests are reliable after a month and this is worrying you = get tested. Clinics give a lot more anonymity than using your GP.

It may help to know that the one-off risk for being on the receiving end of vaginal sex with someone who is HIV+ is about one or two in a thousand. And he's probably not HIV+

You're far too late to have PEP, the month-long course of anti-HIV drugs that can reduce that, but as has been said, if you have been very unlucky and have got it, modern treatments are amazingly good in terms of keeping you healthy.

Reply 14

Limpopo

Of course you need to get tested. If your clear,consider it a warning and always pack your condoms. Rmember the slogan..no glove,no love. For anyone else out there dont believe all this stuff about how normal a lifestyle you can have with HIV. Some people would have you beleive its no worse than the common cold. The truth is there is still no cure for HIV. If you contract it, your health/lifestyle/relationships will be compromised for the rest of your life. Go read the downloads and reports on the UK Health protection agency website about the growth and spread of HIV here in the UK. It makes worrying reading.

Reply 15

unprinted

Original post by Blues Clues

I read this article once about how this doctor said he'd rather have diabetes than HIV so even still.

Obviously.

While there are some ignorant people who say 'having HIV is now a manageable condition like diabetes', no-one runs away screaming if they think you've got diabetes. Medically, they're not very wrong, but socially, there's a huge difference.

Reply 16

username917703

I am very confident you will be fine. HIV is a difficult virus to contract, even if we presume this person is HIV positive, the chances of contracting the virus are ridiculously low for a one time contact (but not impossible, so you need to get yourself tested). I don't want to throw numbers around but you're talking less than 1% per receptive vaginal contact and those are the highest estimates, I think I've seen it go as low as 0.06%.

Get tested, you will be fine.

unprinted I'm gonna rep you, noticed you're on the money every time in these threads.