I'm a girl and I dont enjoy sex...

Scroll to see replies

Reply 20

consumed by stuff

Original post by Tootles

Maybe you're a)sexual. Do you experience sexual desire, or arousal, or have fantasies?

or b)gay

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 21

bluemax

do you have depression? or do you suffer from some sort of anxiety (OCD) where you simply want to get done with stuff so you can get back to your comfort stuff?

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

Original post by M1011

Clearly a troll. Whilst it could be a real issue for some, this is a troll as I don't believe a 19 year old could be this clueless about some of the comments made. " I dont get it. Rampant rabbit? Is this something i should google?" - seriously... no.

How rude. I have a genuine problem and just because I'm a bit more clueless/inexperienced than you, that means I'm a liar?! I came here for help, not to be made fun of. Look at my previous replies - I'm perfectly serious.

Original post by jammy4041

I guess....

The situation would start to improve as you get to know yourself better...if you know what I mean. You need to be comfortable in what you like, and know what you don't like, and only you can come to that conclusion.

And although the subject remains highly taboo, masturbation is described as "the dry ski slope of sex" (Enquire Within, ?1986) and is a key part in relationship building. Then your partner can adjust...and do different things... which may be better for you.

But it would almost sound like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself, which is excacerbating the problem. Maybe slow down and take a time out...relationships are not exclusively about sex. Maybe a long hug or cuddle may work.

And I sure research shows that most women don't orgasm without clitoral stimulation, so you wouldn't exactly be 'doing something wrong' if you didn't. Learning from ahem, "adult material", is not good as it is considered such a distorted view of reality and would make your situation worse, OP.

Thankyou, I'll really think this through.

Original post by Tootles

Maybe you're asexual. Do you experience sexual desire, or arousal, or have fantasies?

Original post by dead101

Some people just don't like sex as crazy as they sounds. You could well be asexual as someone mentioned before...

Original post by De Chirico

Some women really struggle to orgasm... Luckily my gf isn't one of them.
Is there nothing you fantasise about having done to you that you can get your bf to do?

I do, well I think I do. I dont really have 'fantasies' but I do feel urges when I'm with him. What I like done, is you know, done to me. Arghh I dont want to be asexual though...! But thanks for the replies.

Original post by Jebedee

If you don't/can't make yourself cum. How can anyone else be expected to?

*sigh* i dunno :frown:

maybe I'm just not doing it right

Original post by vincentjack

A friend of mine felt like this in all her relationships and eventually realised she's gay

Original post by Rebel_Chick

Or mayeb you're lez?

I thought this too, but I have genuine feelings for him. Never really felt attracted to girls. How could one 'realise' they're homosexual?

Original post by bluemax

do you have depression? or do you suffer from some sort of anxiety (OCD) where you simply want to get done with stuff so you can get back to your comfort stuff?

No, I'm happy and healthy. I do worry alot about my body image though, but I manage to put those thoughts aside in the moment. Like I said, I'm relaxed when we're doing it. it just doesnt make sense!

Reply 23

username1060288

I think you should talk to him and say you think you aren't getting the max out of sex and never have and that you would like to focus on making it better for a while. I would try to explore new things and whilst they are happening, appreciate the feelings and decide what feels better than the other. Remind him he's completely safe since you're really in to him. Pretty much the best scenario to be challenging yourselves within :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 24

Sazzy890

I've had times like this in my life (in fact, for years I was like that)... for me I believe it was attributable to two things: 1. Stress and 2. Poor diet.

Another thing for me was the contraceptive pill. I don't know if you are on it but that can cause a low sex drive. I tried 4 different ones and they all had side effects so I decided to come off it. The last one also caused me anxiety (I was on it for 2 years and didn't notice the change in me, but went to the doctor as I felt constantly anxious and it was having physical reactions on me as well, and the doctor said it was probably the pill. I didn't believe her at the time but thought I'd try coming off it, it took over 2 months for my body to get back to normal but I noticed I wasn't feeling as anxious about going to work/doing normal activities, my sex drive improved and I was laughing more).

Eating healthily, sleeping well and balancing stressful situations with relaxing ones will help :smile:

Reply 25

Saralouise95

I find it mad that people are suggesting you're asexual or gay. You're attracted to him and have urges but just don't really get anything out of sex, which is understandable for a lot of girls, especially when sex is placed on such a pedistool and then essentially is an anti climax (literally :mmm:

).
With my ex I didn't enjoy sex, I found it boring and was just content with that rather than trying to change it. But with my partner now I love sex, and thats because we took the time to explore each others bodies and know what the other liked. Sex shouldn't be a taboo subject with your boyfriend. And like somebody else said if you don't masturbate or know how to make yourself feel pleasure then you can't really expect somebody else to be able to do it for you. I just suggest exploring yourself, have fun with it and don't be shy and you'll get there, even if you don't have an orgasm through sex you should still enjoy it.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 26

YanYan97

Original post by jebedee

if you don't/can't make yourself cum. How can anyone else be expected to?

preach brotha

Reply 27

50lashes

Original post by Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now, and I really really like him. He's the nicest guy I've ever met and I'm attracted to him physically too, he's a tall and good-looking mixed race guy.
But when we have sex, I often find myself wanting to it to be over. The only reason why I keep on doing it is because I want to make him happy. He's not bad at it, we were both not virgins not when we met so I know the difference between good and bad sex. It was the same with my ex aswell - so I know it is my problem.
What is going wrong here? How do I make myself enjoy it? Nobody's ever made me orgasm and I dont masturbate. I tried to watch porn to *observe* what these pornstars are doing that I'm not, but I cant really put my finger on it.
I'm 19, by the way.

Any replies are super apprecited... thanks :tongue:

sexual offence, 50 lashes

Reply 28

Carterj09

maybe you're gay? idek but i know someone who was like this who is now gay

Reply 29

Rum Ham

I don't personally enjoy vaginal sex but I enjoy foreplay and can orgasm from that no bother but when it comes to full on sex, I find myself wishing it was over too and I find it a bit painful and uncomfy. I've been checked out by a doctor and they say everything is in working order and that a lot of women don't enjoy vaginal sex but find pleasure in foreplay or other sexual things. In fact I don't know many women personally that can orgasm through vaginal sex.

Yeah some women just don't enjoy it and no that doesn't automatically mean they are frigid or a lesbian. Every body is different and we all respond to things differently. Maybe it would put your mind at rest to maybe see a doctor, OP? I know it would be embarrassing most likely but it could help you and would also rule out if there's anything physical that's stopping you from enjoying sex/foreplay though tbh most the time its either mental, they or their partner doesn't know how to properly do it or they just don't like full on sex. Could also just be that you haven't found a position that suits you. It can be hard to get into the swing of things and find something that is enjoyable to both of you.

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 30

Welsh Bluebird

In a world full of filth in terms of culture its hardly surprising some people find good old sex a bit boring and lacklustre. The world is full of things dirtier, more daunting and riskier and people want to push the boundaries and stuff.

I find sex myself at times boring and don't have a burning desire for it like some people do. Much prefer the excitement of the build up and lead up to it than the act itself.

Reply 31

Anonymous #1

Original post by Welsh Bluebird

Yeah, I think I'm the same. :/

Reply 32

Anonymous #3

I also have the same problem and it's getting me down (not to mention my bf who thinks I'm not attracted to him). I'm 29 and have been with him for almost a year. We probably have sex 2/3 times a month and that's more than enough for me although he'd like it several times a day. I suffer from anxiety and feel this might be the problem. I've also been taking the pill for 12 years and wonder if this could be partly to blame as someone else suggested.

Could it maybe be due to how a past bf treated you? I was with an emotionally abusive guy for 2 years who would ignore me the whole day if I didn't have sex with him in the morning or he would say 'if you don't have sex with me, then I'll find someone that will'. I'm now with a great guy who wouldn't dream of doing/saying anything like that so I've relaxed a lot more, but don't want to take advantage of him being so understanding by practically never having sex with him. I know it frustrates him :frown:

Reply 33

FrankJaegar

you just haven't been with a knee grow like me.