I can't stop crying
I can really use some advice please. Background story: I really like this one guy who's gone to uni, he's different race and religion - it will never happen. I think about him everyday but normally I can carry on with my normal routine. But when my depression comes, I feel very down and just automatically I go into scenarios of him sleeping with loads of girls and the fact I will never have him. I know it is none of my business what he does, I bet he doesn't even remember me.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
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Original post by Anonymous
I can really use some advice please. Background story: I really like this one guy who's gone to uni, he's different race and religion - it will never happen. I think about him everyday but normally I can carry on with my normal routine. But when my depression comes, I feel very down and just automatically I go into scenarios of him sleeping with loads of girls and the fact I will never have him. I know it is none of my business what he does, I bet he doesn't even remember me.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
1) let him go it's unhealthy for you right now just focus on yourself and focus on making yourself happy right now! How do you expect anyone to love you when you can't love yourself.
The reason why I say let him go is because I'm being a little selfish here I've been through the exact same thing you're going through and he ended up cheating on me twice and then he broke up with me whilst he was out at a party drunk!! I'm not saying yours is like that but my point is uni changes people! And also no woman should feel insecure that the guy they like will cheat and sleep with other woman!
So yeah just focus on yourself and grow as a person. Don't feel sad because trust me you'll look back at this post and think wow I've changed!
Also get some courage to tell your parents how you feel about an arranged marriage and make YOUR own discussions with how you love your life. Focus on your career, your health and don't look for love! It will find you when you least expect it.
Best of luck
Posted from TSR Mobile
Sorry to hear about that.
I'm sure there are organisations, charities etc that can help you with this situation? Arranged marriage is illegal I believe and can be stopped if you contact people who can offer help
Posted from TSR Mobile
I'm sure there are organisations, charities etc that can help you with this situation? Arranged marriage is illegal I believe and can be stopped if you contact people who can offer help
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
I can really use some advice please. Background story: I really like this one guy who's gone to uni, he's different race and religion - it will never happen. I think about him everyday but normally I can carry on with my normal routine. But when my depression comes, I feel very down and just automatically I go into scenarios of him sleeping with loads of girls and the fact I will never have him. I know it is none of my business what he does, I bet he doesn't even remember me.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
I think this is probably a troll thread. However, if it is not. Yes he probably is seeing other women, there is nothing wrong with that. You are now faced with a difficult decision between having your arranged marriage or destroying your family. You should take the marriage otherwise you will end up as an unhappy streetwalker.
Original post by Anonymous
I can really use some advice please. Background story: I really like this one guy who's gone to uni, he's different race and religion - it will never happen. I think about him everyday but normally I can carry on with my normal routine. But when my depression comes, I feel very down and just automatically I go into scenarios of him sleeping with loads of girls and the fact I will never have him. I know it is none of my business what he does, I bet he doesn't even remember me.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
You need specialist support, this is a charity that helps people who don't want arranged marriages:
http://www.freedomcharity.org.uk/
Original post by Nadia L.
Sorry to hear about that.
I'm sure there are organisations, charities etc that can help you with this situation? Arranged marriage is illegal I believe and can be stopped if you contact people who can offer help
Posted from TSR Mobile
I'm sure there are organisations, charities etc that can help you with this situation? Arranged marriage is illegal I believe and can be stopped if you contact people who can offer help
Posted from TSR Mobile
Actually arranged marriages are not illegal and I am suprised you are so silly to think that. Forced marriages are illegal. The OP may avoid the marriage but she will probably break her parents hearts and her own in the process.
Original post by Anonymous
I can really use some advice please. Background story: I really like this one guy who's gone to uni, he's different race and religion - it will never happen. I think about him everyday but normally I can carry on with my normal routine. But when my depression comes, I feel very down and just automatically I go into scenarios of him sleeping with loads of girls and the fact I will never have him. I know it is none of my business what he does, I bet he doesn't even remember me.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
**** your parents.
Original post by idowhatidesire2
Actually arranged marriages are not illegal and I am suprised you are so silly to think that. Forced marriages are illegal. The OP may avoid the marriage but she will probably break her parents hearts and her own in the process.
I'm so silly? Erm okay then. I wasn't certain anyway. I did say 'I believe' which I thought meant 'I think' but apparently it doesn't since you want to call me silly for thinking something that's wrong. Should I apologise? Lol don't be silly and treat me like a fool for getting something wrong... You could've just corrected me simply?
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Original post by Nadia L.
I'm so silly? Erm okay then. I wasn't certain anyway. I did say 'I believe' which I thought meant 'I think' but apparently it doesn't since you want to call me silly for thinking something that's wrong. Should I apologise? Lol don't be silly and treat me like a fool for getting something wrong... You could've just corrected me simply?
Posted from TSR Mobile
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It is deeply concerning that you did not understand that arranged means consent has been granted.
Original post by idowhatidesire2
It is deeply concerning that you did not understand that arranged means consent has been granted.
Okay, thanks for the correction but you could've said it in a nicer manner.
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Original post by Anonymoussomeone
1) let him go it's unhealthy for you right now just focus on yourself and focus on making yourself happy right now! How do you expect anyone to love you when you can't love yourself.
The reason why I say let him go is because I'm being a little selfish here I've been through the exact same thing you're going through and he ended up cheating on me twice and then he broke up with me whilst he was out at a party drunk!! I'm not saying yours is like that but my point is uni changes people! And also no woman should feel insecure that the guy they like will cheat and sleep with other woman!
So yeah just focus on yourself and grow as a person. Don't feel sad because trust me you'll look back at this post and think wow I've changed!
Also get some courage to tell your parents how you feel about an arranged marriage and make YOUR own discussions with how you love your life. Focus on your career, your health and don't look for love! It will find you when you least expect it.
Best of luck
Posted from TSR Mobile
The reason why I say let him go is because I'm being a little selfish here I've been through the exact same thing you're going through and he ended up cheating on me twice and then he broke up with me whilst he was out at a party drunk!! I'm not saying yours is like that but my point is uni changes people! And also no woman should feel insecure that the guy they like will cheat and sleep with other woman!
So yeah just focus on yourself and grow as a person. Don't feel sad because trust me you'll look back at this post and think wow I've changed!
Also get some courage to tell your parents how you feel about an arranged marriage and make YOUR own discussions with how you love your life. Focus on your career, your health and don't look for love! It will find you when you least expect it.
Best of luck
Posted from TSR Mobile
What a whiny post you have made. It is likely that if the OP follows your poisonous "advice" and refuses the marriage she will destroy whatever relationship she has with her parents Honestly no individual deserves more contempt than someone like you who projects their own failures onto others.
your parents won't be around forever...
if you decide to go through with the arranged marriage just to please them remember the above. Yeah its great to make your parents happy/ pleased but what about your happiness? If you're in a marriage with a guy you don't love all that is bound to bring is unhappiness and resentment
As for the other guy- even you said it will never happen due to the race/region thing. Given the situation with your parents I think this is too much of a fantasy and even you know that. It is annoying for you and upsetting but you've got to be realistic. It seems impossible now but you will get over him: time is a good healer.
If you don't want an arranged marriage f*** the arranged marriage. Find someone within your race/ religion that your parents will be happy with. To me that is meeting them half way/ compromising (yeah I know what parents are like and they do not compromise but come on your not being stubborn/ disrespecting them by running away with someone you know they will disprove of but rather you're acknowledging their beliefs/ wishes and so will be making an effort to find a guy within your race/religion but a guy who you can still choose (there will be loads so your bound to fall for one).
Occupy yourself, go out with friends who care about you, go shopping even just try and get your mind off this other 'unrealistic guy' it will be hard but as I say time will heal it. As for the arranged marriage ahhh its a difficult one because I know what parents are like and no matter what you say they may not listen to you but it is your life as well..hopefully you can find a way to convince them that you will find a respectable man from your race/religion but that it doesn't necessarily have to be arranged.
Just wondering why is it that you don't want an arranged marriage...isn't it just your parents finding suitable people and then you being introduced to them (i.e. this could give you a chance to meet people and see if you like them and at the end of the day they can't force you to marry anyone you don't want) or do you just not want them to get involved and you'd rather do it all alone?
if you decide to go through with the arranged marriage just to please them remember the above. Yeah its great to make your parents happy/ pleased but what about your happiness? If you're in a marriage with a guy you don't love all that is bound to bring is unhappiness and resentment
As for the other guy- even you said it will never happen due to the race/region thing. Given the situation with your parents I think this is too much of a fantasy and even you know that. It is annoying for you and upsetting but you've got to be realistic. It seems impossible now but you will get over him: time is a good healer.
If you don't want an arranged marriage f*** the arranged marriage. Find someone within your race/ religion that your parents will be happy with. To me that is meeting them half way/ compromising (yeah I know what parents are like and they do not compromise but come on your not being stubborn/ disrespecting them by running away with someone you know they will disprove of but rather you're acknowledging their beliefs/ wishes and so will be making an effort to find a guy within your race/religion but a guy who you can still choose (there will be loads so your bound to fall for one).
Occupy yourself, go out with friends who care about you, go shopping even just try and get your mind off this other 'unrealistic guy' it will be hard but as I say time will heal it. As for the arranged marriage ahhh its a difficult one because I know what parents are like and no matter what you say they may not listen to you but it is your life as well..hopefully you can find a way to convince them that you will find a respectable man from your race/religion but that it doesn't necessarily have to be arranged.
Just wondering why is it that you don't want an arranged marriage...isn't it just your parents finding suitable people and then you being introduced to them (i.e. this could give you a chance to meet people and see if you like them and at the end of the day they can't force you to marry anyone you don't want) or do you just not want them to get involved and you'd rather do it all alone?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I can really use some advice please. Background story: I really like this one guy who's gone to uni, he's different race and religion - it will never happen. I think about him everyday but normally I can carry on with my normal routine. But when my depression comes, I feel very down and just automatically I go into scenarios of him sleeping with loads of girls and the fact I will never have him. I know it is none of my business what he does, I bet he doesn't even remember me.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
Original post by Nadia L.
Sorry to hear about that.
I'm sure there are organisations, charities etc that can help you with this situation? Arranged marriage is illegal I believe and can be stopped if you contact people who can offer help
Posted from TSR Mobile
I'm sure there are organisations, charities etc that can help you with this situation? Arranged marriage is illegal I believe and can be stopped if you contact people who can offer help
Posted from TSR Mobile
Arranged marriages aren't illegal lol...
Thats called force marriage
Original post by Tootles
How about you tell your parents to get bent and you marry who you like?
again such sensitive advice. What do you suggest - she ignores her family and never sees them again? Please refrain from giving advice you're obviously not very good at it.
Original post by Anonymous
again such sensitive advice. What do you suggest - she ignores her family and never sees them again? Please refrain from giving advice you're obviously not very good at it.
And before you say anything more, just bear in mind how many times this thread has been posted before.
Original post by Anonymous
I can really use some advice please. Background story: I really like this one guy who's gone to uni, he's different race and religion - it will never happen.
That's no reason at all for it not to happen!
Original post by Anonymous
I go into scenarios of him sleeping with loads of girls and the fact I will never have him. I know it is none of my business what he does, I bet he doesn't even remember me.
These scenarios are in your mind, have you got any reason to believe they are true?
How do you know he doesn't remember you? Have you made an effort to chat with him or let him know how you feel?
Original post by Anonymous
My parents wants wants me to have an arranged marriage and they already have the age where the horoscope guy said when I will get married. How on earth do I get over him? I don't want to get into an arranged marriage.
This is you choice. Tell your parents how you feel. Yep, of course it'll piss them off, but you'll either have pissed off folks or be stuck in a marriage you didn't want. Chat to the guy, see if you can strike up a friendship, put that feelers out. If you are sure it'll never happen, it'll take time to move on, but getting into an arranged marriage that you don't want is not a step in the right direction.
Original post by Tootles
She doesn't have to ignore her family. Just tell them that she marries who she wants, and not who they want.
And before you say anything more, just bear in mind how many times this thread has been posted before.
And before you say anything more, just bear in mind how many times this thread has been posted before.
yes but in some cases that means she will be ostracised from her family so you have to be more sensitive about it. If you don't can't be bothered to give a proper reply because it's been posted a million times before then just don't post at all. Or post the link to the other thread which has some good advice.
Original post by idowhatidesire2
What a whiny post you have made. It is likely that if the OP follows your poisonous "advice" and refuses the marriage she will destroy whatever relationship she has with her parents Honestly no individual deserves more contempt than someone like you who projects their own failures onto others.
Psh yeah erm okay then yeah very 'Whiney' well have you got any better suggestions? And if you had read properly I did say that her guy may not be like that! Ffs this is the 21st century so you're basically suggesting that she should have the arranged marriage right, suffer and swallow her pain get married whilst in the 'relationship' with her parents. No one deserves to suffer no matter where they're from or what you look like so if I'm gonna read a post from the OP where she's feeling hurt and upset I'm gonna give the best advice that I feel is right in order for her to become stronger and improve herself. She doesn't have to necessarily take it. So BAM to you Mrs/mr/he/she 😂😂 who thinks my advice is 'poisonous'
CHEERIOO
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