First date tomorrow ! and I have lost the ability to have a conversation ? help

So basically I met this girl via a online dating website, been talking for a week. We have agreed to meet up tomorrow for Arcade and Cinema

BUTTT I lost the ability to have a normal human conversation ??

We spoke on the phone yesterday to confirm plans and it was so awkward :colondollar:

I kept saying stuff like
"You enjoying the weather"

her
"not really been out today"

I also said " How was your week glad its weekend ?"
she said "yea"

wtf ? what to I talk about

and no PUA stuff in the replies

thanks

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

when I say talking, we had been talking via online chat for a week

Reply 2

tonberry

14

I think you should take tips off Shaine from Undateables and write her a poem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-txYrCPrV7s

Reply 3

DarknessAvenger

If you haven't met her before in person, just talk to her the way you would any other prospective friend - how are you, what do you do, how was your week, what movies/music/food do you like, etc. Talk about the arcade games/movie when you're out too. You'll be fine :smile:

Reply 4

Mockery

17

Ask her what her favourite type of underwear is and what type she is wearing at that moment.

On the basis that women love talking about themselves and love talking about clothes/fashion and shopping I have deduced, from a dark and lonely corner of my room, that such topics of discussion are foolproof.

Reply 5

7M33R

9

Original post by Anonymous

So basically I met this girl via a online dating website, been talking for a week. We have agreed to meet up tomorrow for Arcade and Cinema

BUTTT I lost the ability to have a normal human conversation ??

We spoke on the phone yesterday to confirm plans and it was so awkward :colondollar:

I kept saying stuff like
"You enjoying the weather"

her
"not really been out today"

I also said " How was your week glad its weekend ?"
she said "yea"

wtf ? what to I talk about

and no PUA stuff in the replies

thanks

Hey mate, being a conversationalist isn't hard once you understand the basics.

Basics are

70/30 principle, she talks for 70% of the time you talk for 30%
Ask open questions that begin with What, how, where - mainly what and how.

"You enjoying the weather" - Is a closed question, she couldn't answer anything except yes or no. A better way to phrase it would be

"How are you finding this weather?" or "What do you think about this Weather?"

" How was your week glad its weekend ?" - Here you at least started with an open question, but unfortunately you cut her off and closed the question by the end of it by adding "glad it's weekend?"

A better way to phrase it would be "How was your week?" or "What did you get up to this week?"

So once she replies with something like IDK "I went to Oxford st to get my Dad a present for Fathers day" it's your job to pick up on something and ask a follow up question...

"A present... what did you get him? or "Fathers day - who are you closer to, mum or dad?" (This is a a closed question but I used closed questions to dictate where I want the conversation to go - here I want her to talk about her family more" or if you wanna tease her a bit you could say "Shopping for father's day - right so really you picked yourself up a nice dress and got your Dad a mug /;-)"

etc etc

Good luck mate and I hope this helps.

:smile:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by DarknessAvenger

If you haven't met her before in person, just talk to her the way you would any other prospective friend - how are you, what do you do, how was your week, what movies/music/food do you like, etc. Talk about the arcade games/movie when you're out too. You'll be fine :smile:

the phone conversation was so awkward, we had so many silent pauses where no one said anything arghhh

Reply 7

DarknessAvenger

Original post by Anonymous

the phone conversation was so awkward, we had so many silent pauses where no one said anything arghhh

Sometimes it's awks talking to people on the phone even if you get along really well in person :dontknow:

You sound like you're going to handle things fine to me, I think maybe you're stressing out a bit too much bro :smile:

Reply 8

MyMagicEyebrow

9

Just try to be calm when you're talking with her. It's natural to feel a little nervous, but if you feel too anxious within your self, then your conversational skills will suffer as a result. And being overly anxious isn't really attractive to women, and they can tell if you are or not. Just try to think of her as someone you've known for a long time.

When making conversation, don't try too hard to think of clever or funny things to say. It'll be obvious that you're trying too hard, and it could come out as too forced or strained. Just say whatever comes naturally, and try not to worry too much if you say something embarassing or weird or whatever. Just keep the conversation flowing. Ask her lots of questions, you know, about her, her interests and hobbies, her work/school, etc, and make sure you listen and show enthusiasm. It should be roughly 65% listening, 35% talking for you.

And I know it's a cliche, but honestly, just be yourself. There's no point pretending to be someone you're not, as firstly, women can tell if you're faking a personality, and secondly, what are you going to do if the date's successful? Just pretend and put on a show whenever you go out with her? Just be yourself, as that way you'll be at your most comfortable and relaxed, and then it'll be easier for the conversation to flow.

Good luck!

Reply 9

The pencil one

What online site was this out of interest?

Go with the flow N be yourself
Make her laugh and be a gentleman
Whatever comes to your head just say it

Reply 10

DarknessAvenger

Original post by The pencil one

What online site was this out of interest?

Go with the flow N be yourself
Make her laugh and be a gentleman
Whatever comes to your head just say it

What if it comes to his other head? :teehee:

Reply 11

The pencil one

Original post by DarknessAvenger

What if it comes to his other head? :teehee:

LOL well let's just hope she's loosen up by that time and it turns out fine!

Reply 12

NooNoo1

3

compliment her, be funny, don't be a douche but have confidence, wear nice aftershave :smile:

x

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by The pencil one

What online site was this out of interest?

Go with the flow N be yourself
Make her laugh and be a gentleman
Whatever comes to your head just say it

Okcupid
My humour is pretty nasty and dry think Jay from inbetweeners

People who know me find it funny because they know i dont actually think that but others probably think im weird haha

Reply 14

James222

3

Just got to learn to relax

First date tomorrow ! and I have lost the ability to have a conversation ? help

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