The Student Room Group

Breaking to girlfriend that you have an STD

Basically me and my girlfriend have been together a short time. Prior to her I hadn't really had a big sex life, and about two weeks before sex with her I was tested for STDs at the GUM clinic.

Results were negative meaning I was 'clean'. The only thing I wasn't properly tested for was skin related issues, since there was no symptoms/visible signs, and so they couldn't test. So just for the record, in advance, I have no idea if in fact I would have anything skin related (genital herpes etc) since if I did it could be dormant.

Me and her had a lot of sex ( even though I knew she had a past, many partners etc), and she claimed she was clean (or so she thought). Twice this was unprotected. She had a coil fitted so pregnancy was unlikely.

For sometime, I had nor noticed any symptoms. A few days after having sex for the 5th time I noticed like a blistery rash, which I noticed she had also, but before I had one. I mentioned As well as a 'funky' smell which is particularly pungent. It's been like that since we had unprotected sex. I do wash thoroughly also so it isn't this.

I have also had a dull ache and sense my testicles are swollen. When I ejaculate I do so in smaller quantities.

She claims if I got anything it isn't from her, but there again I know I was clean. How do I break it too her when I see her that we can't have sex until my test results come through?

I can't exactly tell her I got tested because I believe she has given me something, and that if I have it so will she. It will seem accusatory.

I don't want her to twist this on me in the event I have a disease like herpes or anything. I.e., Making out I gave her something. Hòw do I approach the topic without upsetting her?
It could just be thrush, which can develop on its own in the body for various reasons and then be passed between partners. If the "funky smell" is anything like marmite, bread or beer, its likely to be this and all it needs is antifungal cream and a tablet.

Also if you have herpes or genital warts, you could easily have had it when you were tested but it couldn't be accurately tested for and no symptoms were present. As you said yourself, you couldn't be properly tested so these could have been lying dormant in your system til now. One way or another, you need to tell her about the testing. Say it could have come from either of you or it could just be thrush. That's not accusatory, its just the facts. If you're having sex with someone you need to be able to talk openly about stuff like this.
What Kabloomybuzz said, as ever, noting that if it is trush, both of you need to be treated.

Her going 'well, it can't have been from me' if she hasn't tested isn't exactly a good sign.

Was there any talking about this sort of thing before starting to be sexual with each other?

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