I made a short film about picking up girls with chewing gum :)

I liked it but not too keen on the music. Over all 7.5/10

Quite good.

They were a couple of shots which could have been framed better, and you could have cut it down further as it seemed to stall. Also the title was too long, and it would have looked better against a black background. but I do like the font.

Also, in your intro rather than use a fade, and straight cut would have been better. At the 01:02 point, your edit jumps.

In terms of narrative, he doesn't really need as her permission to sit down, and we don't see her holding the iPod see the shot after you cut looks rather odd. I like the shoulder shot, but in the next shot, you should have gone closer into the writing. If you're going to use a close up, always make sure there's a big difference in terms of distance with the previous shot.

It would have been fun if you added an antagonist (someone better looking to steal her off him), because you're setting it up as though she likes him.

Don't be afraid to go closer in on her face.

Invest in a better tripod, as it was too shakey, and always use manual focus.

Pretty good overall.

Thats good, keep it up and you'll soon be a youtube sensation

Thank you for your feedback man!
Yeah The intro could have been better.
That jump cut at 1:02 is a bit unreasonable :/ (Can't remember why I did that lol)

It's my bad that I didn't use the manual focus shot for the trick . I actually shot that chewing gum magic trick scene for a lot of time because the problem I was facing was that the trick itself required a specific angle. (You know its a magic trick) When shooting that scene most of the time I failed to prevent the gimmick from being exposed and then due to the excessive time on shooting that scene I decided to move on. Therefore it ended up the scene that you are seeing was the only acceptable one I had got and I inevitably used that.
I won't make this silly mistake next time

In fact I do have a good tripod but I didn't use it when I was shooting those scenes (my bad) LOL

Your feedback is really helpful! I appreciate that

By the way do you do film production course in Uni?

haha Thank you I hope so! Having a group of audience on Youtube could be difficult especially when I don't speak English as fluently as you guys. I find it easy to talk to my teachers but when it comes to a conversation between me and my English fellows, I get frustrated sometimes lol

That was surprisingly good! Keep making short films - I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Really good, I enjoyed it


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That was really good, I really enjoyed watching it! Just out of curiosity, what music did you use in this film? I really liked the music.

I also watched another one of your films entitled "Birdy", and found it really enjoyable too!

you would need a massive wad of gum to pick up a girl ?

or a very very tiny girl