My best friend is going to the same university as me.. And i DON'T want her too! Help

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You sound horribly arrogant. How do you know she's 'followed' you for the past few years - maybe she thought you were friends? :rolleyes:

and have you considered if the uni is in your city maybe she wants to be close to her family or something? Very few people would REALLY make such an important decision based on where their friend/s are going...get over yourself.

Reply 41

iEatMuFFiNS

Some people are of the personality where they just stick to you like ****; if this is the case then i get where the OP is coming from...

Reply 42

alcibiade

Original post by BOB2014

We're both girls and we've been friends since high school. We will be doing different courses but she is one of those people that clings to you. I want to meet so many new people and make lots of friends but i cant really do this if she's there as she will be with me the whole time. I'm not a bad friend but what should i do?

i've been given an unconditional offer whilst she's been given a conditional one. I secretly hope they don't let her in. What should i do?? :frown:

I empathize with how you feel: you are anticipating freedom and possibility and don't want a weight holding you back from the past. It is natural to feel this way, people sound too judgmental here - particularly as we don't know what your friend is really like.

A couple of things: first, you might try to explain your feelings, however difficult this appears, so as not to sever the relationship. After all, durable friendships last. Second, she may surprise you and do fine on her own.

In any event, you must answer the question of whether you want to lose the friendship. In my experience, true friends are worth their weight in platinum.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 43

tazarooni89

Original post by BOB2014

I want to meet so many new people and make lots of friends but i cant really do this if she's there as she will be with me the whole time.

Why will that stop you from meeting new people? :s-smilie:

University students aren't exactly going to think "Oh look, she's already got one friend, she must be at maximum friend capacity, I'd better not speak to her"!

One of my best friends went to university with me, we were on the same course, joined some of the same societies, and we lived together. It didn't stop us from meeting new people. In fact it probably made it easier, because new people that he met would automatically be introduced to me, and vice-versa. Our friendship groups became much bigger than they otherwise would have.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 44

LaughingBro

I hope everyone, especially your 'best' and/or 'close' friend, finds out your true colours and never to associate with such a disgusting, vile, pathetic thing!

Reply 45

New- Emperor

I had a friend that went to my uni too I saw him a total of 3 times over 4 years but not a best friend or a close friend

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 46

Calum10

**** sake, some people are WAY over reacting. I have plenty of friends who I enjoy hanging out with but I can only deal with them in small amounts. There are people in your life that you will want to spend every minute with cause you just have that sort of friendship and inevitably, there will be those friends who you like spending time with but only once every so often.
Unfortunately, it seems, your friend wants to spend all her time with you but you feel like you can only take little amounts with her - completely understandable. It doesn't make anyone a bad friend. In fact, you could argue that in order to keep the friendship, seeing each other every so often is a better way, rather than hating them because they are driving you around the bend.

I can see someone point of view though, at the end of the day, she is still your friend and you have to be happy for her, regardless of what university she will be attending. If it's the same as yours, you just deal with it. You nip it in the bud by telling her that you are really going to get into your studies and you could make plans for spending time weekly/fortnightly/monthly with each other.

It's possible that she will meet another group of friends, from her course and you'll find yourselves drifting apart anyway. If you live in different accommodation or different areas in the same accommodation, you'll probably find that you'll both make friends with your own room mates and you'll drift that way.

You're not a bad friend.

Reply 47

vdoto

Your on a different course so you will hardly see her. If you choose different accommodation and societies you won't bump into her. A close friend went to the same uni as me and because of differences in course, societies/interests and accommodation we only bumped into each other about 3/4 times during the year unless we made the effort to meet up. We didn't do this on purpose, it just happened. I totally get that you want to branch out and make new friends but still keep in contact with her from time to time if you really are friends haha

I think people are saying you're a bad friend because if she wants to go to that uni as she feels its the best choice for her who are you to tell her different? I think it's fine that you want some space and I think its ok to say you would prefer to be in different accommodation as it forces you to step out of your comfort zone, but its also wrong of you to say that you want her to go to a different uni.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 48

bobsdylan

i have exactly the same problem! You're not a bad friend or a bad person and don't listen to these stuck up people saying otherwise. For me, i just want a new start and i know that having my best friend around me will stop me and her going out and becoming more sociable with everyone else. You've just got to hope that she gets offers from elsewhere, if not, i'd have a proper chat with her about it... thats what im gunna do! Wish me luck!

Reply 49

New- Emperor

Original post by BOB2014

Why wont i ever see her?

We're on different courses

Unless you run in to her in a club or you are in the same halls you will never see her i had a friend at collage (nit a close friend) and we went to the same uni I saw him all once in uni over 3 years

Reply 50

von3912

Babe I totally get you. The same thing happened to me. My friend's really clingy as well. I got an unconditional offer and she got a conditional one. In the end, she got rejected from my faculty or smth like that but got accepted into another one. It's in the same campus but still hope we won't be seeing each other often. Srsly call us mean or smth but if you had a friend like that you'd be wanting to get away.

(edited 4 months ago)

Reply 51

shadany2K17

I completely understand where you're coming from, my friend is also super clingy and gets really jealous and mean if I hang around other people. You probably aren't a bad friend, you just want to socialise, which is completely fair. You can't dictate where your friend goes because that's not your right, but if you're on different courses, you'll probably see less and less of her and both of you will make new friends and all of that. Good luck !

Reply 52

StealingThunder

Original post by prettyGirl101

Yeah I know this situation, I'm in it too at the mo, except I'm the perceived clingy one.
We've been friends since we were 6, went to same primary school but diff secondary and sixth form. I missed my grades for my firm and am now going to same uni as her. She has assumed that I'm gonna bring her down and has already started to get quite eggy with me spending time with her. I don't party much because I've always valued my academic achievements more than my social, so she has assumed I want her to nurse me through freshers. This is far from the truth! It's pretty normal for people to distance themselves during the first term to make new friends, but she's been so rude to me about it that I doubt we should stay friends. (Like we agreed to do it, but then she keeps bringing it up and then turning up late etc when I invite her over, even tho term doesn't start for a month! She's already started blanking me!)
From repeatedly saying we need to keep our distance, to grimacing that some of our halls options overlapped, and being rude about which freshers events I want to go to (she thinks the masked ball is lame, but doesn't understand that I don't care if she goes).
Don't lose your friend because of arrogance. They're probably not as clingy as you think. Have a conversation about it, come to an agreement and leave it alone.

@iam_abdin

not sure why all these people are jumping on you. the same thing is happening to me with a similarly clingy friend and i completely agree with everything you are saying!! i love her but the LAST thing i want to do is go to college with her. i want to have a fresh start, make completely new friends, and i feel like i can’t do that with her clinging to me.