The Student Room Group
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>

This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Murdered by my boyfriend

Did anyone else watch the drama on BBC3? I found it so incredibly sad that some women go through this in Britain of all places :no:

For those who don't know,it's about a girl called Ashley who fell in love with a guy called Reece and he ends up controlling and dominating all her life, making her take pictures to prove where she is, not letting her wear what she wants and worst of all beating her repeatedly and violently.

The worst part of it all is she felt she couldn't leave him because they had a child together and she believed he could still change and even when she left him, she succumbed to his pleas to take him back and she eventually married him which ultimately resulted in her death. Such an incredibly sad true story :frown:

Scroll to see replies

I watched it! Cried so much, it really was just so upsetting :sad:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Goodness, your title is shocking. I was wondering how you were able to type this beyond the grave. :lol:

----



Women like that just irk me tbh. If my sister was in a toxic relationship like the one you described I would be rescuing her. :cry:
Reply 3
Avatar for Steezy
Steezy
15
Yep, sucks. Some absolute psychos out there.
Haha I wonder why I actually believed for a split second that you'd been murdered by your boyfriend? I'm obviously in a gullible mood today! I found it alright not one of the strongest BBC dramas but also not bad either.
I would never ever put up with anyone like that. In no way, shape or form will anybody ever tell me who I can be with, what I can wear or where I can go. That said, it was horrendously sad, especially when you think about how often this happens to both men and women tbh. Domestic violence isn't only men towards women.
Sorry for the shocking title :biggrin: Even though it's the actual title of the drama, I can deny it was to get people to click on the thread too :redface:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Changing Skies
I watched it! Cried so much, it really was just so upsetting :sad:

Posted from TSR Mobile


I was in tears too! I just feel depressed now, some women go through so much under the hands of abusive boyfriends :frown:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by AlphaTango
I've been out with a girl like that, wanted me to send her a photo to prove who I was with, hit me, screamed at me, wasn't allowed any friends etc.

Ridiculous how controlling and possessive people can become, it was like a switch where she would just see pure rage. I had to get out before something like that happened where it ruined one or both of our lives!

I didn't see this though, I will have a gander on iplayer :smile:.


So sorry you had to go through that :frown: did you ever feel trapped or that you couldn't easily leave the relationship?

Posted from TSR Mobile
If she had brains to get out of the relationship when he started manhandling her, none of that crap would have happened....some women :sigh:.
I didn't cry, I just sat wondering how idiotic some people can be.
Original post by Hellcat12
If she had brains to get out of the relationship when he started manhandling her, none of that crap would have happened....some women :sigh:.
I didn't cry, I just sat wondering how idiotic some people can be.


Unless you've actually been in such a situation, you don't really know how they'd have felt tbh.

She felt honestly trapped, she dreamed about falling in love for so long and having the perfect family and then she got it! But he was violent and he manipulate d her as well to make her think that it was her fault and she keeps on provoking him. It's not all black and white

Posted from TSR Mobile
That is really upsetting :frown: Wasn't there anyone she could have talked to?
Might watch it now.
Haven't watched it but yeah that's sad . Once you've been controlled and manipulated it's very difficult to cut all ties with the guy...
Original post by AlphaTango
Not so much trapped but you care for that person and in a sense you feel you can help them and change them but I think a lot of these things are so deep rooted that there's nothing you can do.

In hindsight I should've left at the first signs but I lived through it for much longer in an attempt for it to work.


That's the thing, from the very first moment he hit her she stormed out the house and she should have just kept on walking. But she went back cause she felt sorry for him and started to remember all the good times they had together and thought it wasn't worth throwing away :redface:

Original post by kdizzle97
That is really upsetting :frown: Wasn't there anyone she could have talked to?
Might watch it now.


Her friends eventually found out and even the police were called on many occasions but they weren't enough to persuade her to leave and she was even being forced by him to lie to the police :eek:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
Unless you've actually been in such a situation, you don't really know how they'd have felt tbh.

She felt honestly trapped, she dreamed about falling in love for so long and having the perfect family and then she got it! But he was violent and he manipulate d her as well to make her think that it was her fault and she keeps on provoking him. It's not all black and white

Posted from TSR Mobile

I have not been in this situation but I have seen my relatives destroying themselves with such men. I know it's not all black and white but one must have a sense to doubt the person who tries to rip their lives apart by committing such butcheries.
She felt trapped, yeah well...I know I am being too blunt but in the West, women are supposed to have more grit than the meek, humble and submissive ones in my society, after all the liberty you get and how you fight for yourselves, your rights, you should also have the sense to deal with these situations.

I am sorry, it sounds harsh but that is the truth. I pitied the girl, she had a way to get out of it, unlike women I live around, she should have gotten out of it, but once you enclose yourself in the cocoon of over-emotionality, fantasies and disturbing reliance on someone you believe with all your life, you can't get out unless you wake up.
The ending was crazy, I can't believe he used an Ironing Board to hit her. The worse thing is their daughter witnessed it, he picked her up put her in bed then went back to hit he.
Reply 16
Avatar for Bobbi!
Bobbi!
13
The people that call the victims stupid ought to be ashamed of themselves. If this ignorance of psychological as well as physical abuse could be stopped, perhaps more victims- both men and women- would feel more able to reach out and get help from society. As our culture is the way it is and some people don't realise that it is out of the victim's control, these people sometimes feel trapped, especially as one of the abusers tactics is to make the victim feel that it is there fault and they deserve no better.
Original post by Hellcat12
I have not been in this situation but I have seen my relatives destroying themselves with such men. I know it's not all black and white but one must have a sense to doubt the person who tries to rip their lives apart by committing such butcheries.
She felt trapped, yeah well...I know I am being too blunt but in the West, women are supposed to have more grit than the meek, humble and submissive ones in my society, after all the liberty you get and how you fight for yourselves, your rights, you should also have the sense to deal with these situations.

I am sorry, it sounds harsh but that is the truth. I pitied the girl, she had a way to get out of it, unlike women I live around, she should have gotten out of it, but once you enclose yourself in the cocoon of over-emotionality, fantasies and disturbing reliance on someone you believe with all your life, you can't get out unless you wake up.


She was being emotionally manipulated and this wasn't just one random relationship, it was one that she had put her heart and her soul into plus there was also a child to think about. It's not easy to just 'wake up' from that reality.

I myself personally would have walked out from the very first day of violence but I cannot speak for every woman out there and you can't either. Not everyone reacts to situations in the same way and some people feel like they can change them if they stay with them in the relationship even though that's rarely true.

Also by the time she realised what she'd got herself into, it was far too late as in the very early stages of the beating, she just ignored it and thought it was just a part of his personality. Did you actually watch the drama? Even after she told him it was over, he was still banging on her door late at night, scaring their child and using the child as emotional blackmail to let him back in. He was never going to let her go and she felt like she was fighting a losing battle so eventually took him back again. It's an incredibly difficult emotional journey that she went through and I don't think it's right to just dismiss that lightly.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Hellcat12
I have not been in this situation but I have seen my relatives destroying themselves with such men. I know it's not all black and white but one must have a sense to doubt the person who tries to rip their lives apart by committing such butcheries.
She felt trapped, yeah well...I know I am being too blunt but in the West, women are supposed to have more grit than the meek, humble and submissive ones in my society, after all the liberty you get and how you fight for yourselves, your rights, you should also have the sense to deal with these situations.

I am sorry, it sounds harsh but that is the truth. I pitied the girl, she had a way to get out of it, unlike women I live around, she should have gotten out of it, but once you enclose yourself in the cocoon of over-emotionality, fantasies and disturbing reliance on someone you believe with all your life, you can't get out unless you wake up.


Wow, this gurl's just screaming common sense.

You should cry less about these soap dramas and just call the police if you know these cases. Compassion gets nowhere when we keep it to TV series but people keep tolerating *******s and "forgiving" victimology complexes.
Original post by EULawguy
Wow, this gurl's just screaming common sense.

You should cry less about these soap dramas and just call the police if you know these cases. Compassion gets nowhere when we keep it to TV series but people keep tolerating *******s and "forgiving" victimology complexes.


If people like you and hellcat were more empathetic towards people like this, more and more of these victims would step forward. She was forced to lie to the police because of him!

Posted from TSR Mobile

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you