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IELTS Academic - Writing help.

I am practicing the IELTS test as I am supposed to present a 5.5 band score in each and every component of the test. I want - if any of you want- to take a look at a Task 1 writing I wrote and tell me whether or not -in your opinion- I am able to pass the test with a 5.5+ score.

"The pie charts show the differences in expenditures among UK residents between 1971 and 2001. I t is evident that for both 1971 and 2001 more than half of the money, were spent for food and cars.

To begin, food consumption in 1971 were at 44 percent of the total money consumed whilst it only reached 14 percent in 2001.The opposite trend can be observed regarding the amount of money consumed for cars during these years, where the percentage in 2001 were twice as much than that of 1971.

It can be clearly seen that there were a doubling in the percentage of money spent at restaurants in 2001 where it accredited for fourteen percent. A significant rise can be observed in the IT sector, where the percentage of money consumed for computers rose from 2 percent to 12 in 2001. As a result, , books consumption faced a sharp decrease as it fell from 6 percent to 1 in 2001.

Finally, money spent on Petrol and Furniture remained at about the same, at around 8.5 and 9 percent respectively."

http://www.ielts-writing.info/index.php/academic/ielts-writing-task-1-20/
Hi there,

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